Family Weekend Page #6

---

I'll be good.

Well, that was

unfortunate timing.

Oh. Oh, hey. Hey, Em.

Hey.

S- something wrong, or...

Uh, no, everything's great.

What's up?

Uh, nothing. Nothing much.

Okay. Uh, well,

I'm kinda busy right now.

Uh, yeah, that's fine.

I just came by,

because I...

I wanted to ask you

if you watched the DVD

I made for you?

Actually I was just about to go

do that, so...

Okay, so what did...

What did you think, then?

But I haven't

watched it yet.

Right. Heh.

Right. You said that.

Mm-hmm.

Ah. Um...

Okay, well,

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go

watch the DVD.

No, yeah, that's cool.

Okay, okay. Great.

All right, let me know.

Uh, cool.

Oh, hey, Em, what are you...

what are you holding?

Is that like

a giant wooden penis?

Yep. Yes, it is.

Uh-huh. Great. Bye!

Oh. Oh.

I'll see you.

Nice one, Em.

Now he knows

where he measures up.

Get that thing

out of my face.

That was our deal.

You go psycho.

I make the movie.

This isn't

a movie, Jacks.

This is our family.

Oh, my G.

Oh, my G.

Oh, my G.

Oh, my Fing G.

So freaking rad.

I should have paid you

50 bucks.

Oh, my G.

Kat, give me your phone.

What?

Give me your phone,

Kat, now.

Stop... Ahh.

Hey, it's Em.

I'm gonna need

your help.

Well...

I must admit

I've wanted to do

something like this

for ages.

Now, this must be...

Rick,

Mom's boyfriend.

Oh, right.

Let's put him somewhere

a man like him belongs,

shall we?

What are you doing to me?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Help!

Sorry, Rickels.

Shut up.

Now, when I

sound the chime,

I want you to picture

your clouded mind

clearing into

a crisp, white expanse.

Here we go.

Hello. My name is Tina.

Hello, Tina.

I'm here to turn you

from sad froggies

into happy froggies.

In my practice,

we use puppets.

Get your puppets.

We use the puppets

to detach us

from the emotional anchors

that drag us down.

That way,

our feelings can surface,

and our authentic self

can breathe.

Perfect. Puppets.

It's a perfect time

for puppets.

All right, are we ready to share?

Who wants to go first?

Oh, I do.

Oh, me! Me!

I said it first.

No.

We kidnapped

Mom and Dad.

How does that

make you feel?

Um, it's fun and scary.

Why is it scary?

Because it's making everybody

a little crazy

and say mean things,

even more than usual.

Hmm. Thank you

for sharing, Wanda.

That's excellent. Libby?

Hmm.

Uh, I just, well...

I just want my family

to care

about each other.

What about you?

Do you think

about others?

Well, I...

We're all here

right now

because we didn't go to your

jump-roping competition.

We just couldn't

make it. That's it.

We could have made it,

maybe if we tried harder.

That's great, Jackson.

It's Thor now.

Like the Norse God?

Yes! Finally!

Thank you.

Oh, that's good. Timsy?

Uh... Ahem! Uh...

Timsy wants his family

to know that...

he loves them

very much.

And he knows that he

makes a lot of mistakes.

Everybody

makes mistakes, Timsy.

But he's doing

the best he can.

I don't like

the membrane.

The membrane is your father's

protective shield.

I don't like the membrane.

What?

I don't like the membrane.

What else don't

you like, Mickey?

I don't like

loud talking,

I don't like the man

in the other room...

and I don't

like casserole.

That's fine.

Do you have anything else

that you want to say?

And I like bacon.

Yeah. Yeah.

I suppose I could make the membrane

a little more permeable.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks.

But I don't know

about the bacon.

Mimsy? Your family

has opened up.

Would you like

to share with us?

No.

Come on, Mom.

Come on, Mimsy.

Yeah, come on,

Mimsy.

No, no. I'm good.

Come on, Mimsy.

Don't ignore this

healing opportunity, Mimsy.

Come on, Mimsy.

Mimsy. Mimsy.

This is insane.

Mom, it's not very hard.

Why is it insane? It's insane,

because you're a crazy person.

It's fun.

Let Mimsy speak.

I'm doing it. I want to hear what

Mimsy has to say.

Mimsy thinks that you

should take your sage

and shove it where

your spirit guides don't shine.

Mom! Just try, please.

I try, okay?

I try every

single day, Emily.

And I'm sorry if we're not the

freaking parents of the year,

but my apologies

to the selection committee.

But here's a news flash.

There are

no parents of the year.

No one comes

to give me trophies.

Nobody comes

to watch me compete.

And if you think tying me up

and drugging me

and spraying air freshener in my face

are gonna make our family closer,

then you were right, Emily.

We really have failed

in raising you, honey.

And it's much worse

than you think.

Thank you.

Emily!

I speak the truth.

When did everything

get so strange?

She's your daughter.

No, you.

Me?

Where do I even start?

What happened to that wild chick

I married?

She wasn't afraid

of anything.

She... She'd

dine and dash.

She ate popcorn with

butter-flavored topping.

She was gonna open

a vegan restaurant.

Can we not

do this right now?

She was gonna

cook veggies,

and I

was gonna paint.

She was fun,

sense of humor.

She was beautiful.

Was?

We were gonna do

anything we wanted.

Screw the rest

of the world.

Well, she grew up, Duncan.

Do you really think we knew

who we were back then?

I think we knew

how to be happy.

Well, sometimes

life isn't happy.

Sometimes you do

what you have to do

instead of what

you want to do.

I do what I want to do.

Oh, I know. Exactly.

Duncan does whatever

Duncan wants to do.

If he wants to paint,

he paints.

If he wants to sit there,

he sits there.

While I keep this family

fed and clothed,

and I work my butt off.

Have you noticed?

I don't paint because

I want to paint.

I paint because I have to.

Stop talking.

What are you

trying to say? Hmm?

Let's stop beating

around the bush.

Let's just put all our cards

on the table.

Okay, okay,

you want me to say it?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

I want you to say it.

Say it.

Okay, here it goes.

You're stuck.

You got a bad review

in New York five years ago,

and you're stuck.

31/2.

What?

It was 31/2 years ago.

Whatever. You're stuck.

You have painter's block

or something.

It takes time to make something

beautiful, Sam.

It took 9 months to make each

one of our beautiful children.

Oh, I know. I was there.

I remember.

Duncan, I'm sorry.

I just...

I can't continue this way.

I can't do this anymore.

I just can't.

What do you mean

you can't do this?

Marriage is

a partnership, Duncan,

and right now

you are a lousy partner.

I just...

Okay.

I love your talent, Duncan.

I fell in love

with your talent.

Really?

Sometimes it's just...

It's not enough.

You could have taken that graphic

design job I got for you.

I stuck my neck for you,

and you just blew it off,

Duncan style. Perfect.

I can't paint logos.

Here we go.

This is who I am, Sam,

for better or for worse.

This is who you married.

Do you want me

to be someone else?

I never asked you to be

someone else, Duncan.

Are you asking me now?

I don't know.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes