Fantastic Mr Fox, The Page #4

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and it all changes back again!

I've got it!

There's not a moment to lose!

- Why didn't I think of this before?

- Think of what?

We've been trapped before.

Dig!

I think it's time for me to give us

a pep talk and explain some things.

- A very long time ago...

- May I have a word with you privately?

Well, we're in a hole.

Just on the other side of this

mineral deposit.

Follow me.

I'm gonna lose my temper now.

- When?

- Right now.

Well, when...

Oh, my God!

Twelve fox-years ago,

you made a promise to me...

while we were caged inside

that fox-trap, that if we survived

you would never steal another chicken,

goose, turkey, duck,

...or squab, whatever they are.

And I believed you. Why?

Why did you lie to me?

- Because I'm a wild animal

- You're also a husband and a father.

I'm trying to tell you the truth

about myself.

I don't care about the truth

about yourself.

This story is too predictable.

Predictable? Really?

What happens in the end!?

In the end, we all die...

...unless you change.

Petey, listen.

Run down to the rentals department

over at Malloy Consolidated...

...and place an order for,

shall we say,

one Mighty Max, one Junior Spitfire,

and a long-range Tornado 375 Turbo.

For immediate delivery.

Ash, are you mad at me?

I understand if you are,

and I'm sorry.

I wouldn't have ever involved your cousin

if I realized you would feel this way.

It was only ever just because

he's kind of a natural, I mean...

Hey, look at him dig!

- Anyway, I'm sorry your feelings...

- You know what?

I'm gonna put dirt in my ears.

Yeah, that's better.

I can't hear you now but keep talking.

I don't have beagle ticks,

by the way.

Whoa! Me, neither.

Whoever said we've beagle...

Apparently, that's what

you've been telling everyone.

Beagle ticks and pelt lice.

I never said that,

and you're misquoting me...

...or somebody is, but I'm gonna

get to the bottom of it.

Look, Ash, we may or may not

ever see the light of day again,

...but I really like Agnes,

and I think she likes me.

Great. She's a free agent.

What do I care?

- Well, then why're you dead-set on...

- Can I ask you a question?

- You may.

- What's the point of sitting on the floor...

with your legs twisted into a pretzel

talking to yourself...

...for an hour and forty-five minutes?

It's weird.

My father and I first started practicing

meditation together when I was...

Yeah? Well, that's great.

But I'd worry more about what

that does for your reputation...

...than whether or not

you have beagle ticks or not.

I don't. Nor pelt lice.

One of those slovenly farmers is probably

wearing my tail as a necktie by now.

You're paranoid, Foxy.

Farmer, thank you.

Correct me if am misreading the data,

you've successfully destroyed the

scenery, but the alleged fox

Look at Dad's tie.

What will you three prominent

farmers do now?

Well, Dan, I can tell you

what we're not going to do.

We're not gonna let him go.

Stand clear, please.

Stand clear, everyone.

Contact!

Boggis, how many men,

did you got working on your farm?

- Thirty five.

- Bunce?

- Thirty six.

- And I've got thirty-seven. That's...

I'd say, a hundred and eight altogether.

Petey!

Drop everything and assemble all

hundred and eight members...

...of our entire

three combined work-forces.

Were gonna starve them out

and then kill them.

Starting in, shall we say,

fifteen minutes.

An estimated,

a hundred and eight snipers are...

...currently in position surrounding

the demolished fox residence.

Many local animals, who'd appear

to be trapped underground,

...without provisions of any kind

at this point.

If I had a crystal ball, I'd predict

a fairly grisly outcome to the situation.

But we stand on the scene,

watching closely,

...as events continue to unfold.

This is gonna be a total cluster cuss

for everybody.

How long can a fox go

without food or water?

Well, I can only answer as an opossum,

...but I don't think I can last more than

another couple of hours..

...before I get completely dehydrated

and starve to death.

What's that?

- Dad?

- Not a sound.

You scared the cuss out of us!

A lot of good animals are

probably gonna die...

...because of you.

We've been digging in circles

for three days.

Half the woods have been obliterated.

Nobody can get out.

Right now my wife's huddled

at the bottom of the flint-mine...

with no food, no water, and

twenty seven starving animal brats!

I just want to see a little...

...sunshine.

But you're nocturnal, Phil.

Your eyes barely even open,

on a good day.

I'm sick of your double-talk.

We have rights!

We don't like you,

and we hate your dad.

Now grab some of that mud, chew it

in your mouth, and swallow it.

- I'm not gonna eat mud!

- Cuss, yeah, you are.

Don't do that.

Why'd you take your shoes off?

So I don't break your nose

when I kick it.

I can fight my own fights.

No, you can't.

Those farmers aren't gonna quit...

...until they've got you and

every member of your family...

...nailed upside-down to a bloody stick

with your eyes gorged out.

This is getting a little too personal.

Give me a minute.

I've got an idea.

- What is it?

- It could be a good one.

- Lay it on us.

- It might save our lives.

Say the idea!

Alright! Let's try it!

Go to the flint-mine. Tell Mrs. Badger,

et al. that help is on the way.

Is help on the way?

I sure as cuss hope so.

Ash, I know what it's like to feel...

...different.

I'm not different, am I?

We all are.

Him, especially.

But there's something kind of fantastic

about that, isn't there?

Not to me.

I'd prefer to be an athlete.

Gentlemen, this time we must dig

in a very special direction.

I got to kind of feel out the vibe.

Begin.

Come on!

I hit it slap in the middle!

Do you get how incredible this is?

About a handsome little fox,

Let me sing you folks a yarn.

Hey, diddle-dee, doddle-do,

doodle-dum!

It was a splendid little feller,

Full of wit 'n' grace 'n' charm.

Say, zippy-zee, yappy-yo,

google-gum!

Well, like any little critter needing

Vittels for his littl'uns.

Well, he stole, and he cheated,

And he lied to survive.

Doodle-dum, diddle-die,

doddle-diddle-doodle-dee!

Zippy-zo, zippy-zay,

zippy-zappy-zoopy-zee!

Doodle-dum, Doodle-dum

Let me take a little tick now

To color in the scene,

Across the valley lived three yokels

Name of Boggis, Bunce, and Bean.

Now these three crazy jackies

had our hero on the run

Shot the tail off the cuss

With a fox-shooting gun.

But that stylish little fox

Was as clever as a whip.

Dug as quick as a gopher

Who was a hyper-ack-a-tive.

Now those three farmers sit

It where there's a hole, it was once a hill.

Singing, diddle-dee, doddle-do,

doodle-dum!

And as far as I can reckon

They're a-setting up there still.

Singing, zippy-zee, yappy-yo,

What are you singing, Petey?

Just... just making up one

as I went along, really.

That's just weak song-writing!

You wrote a bad song, Petey!

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