Fart: A Documentary Page #5

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that the women don't like it.

Female interviewer:

Do you think that women

laugh at fart jokes

as much as men?

Uh, yes, especially

if it's men doing it.

Or somebody in a very

proper situation.

that you just know

would mortify you to death,

but it's not you

so you get to laugh.

If it's on the other foot,

I've often thought about this.

You know, if a woman

farted, you know,

than it's a massive

turnoff for a guy.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like, "Whoa," you know.

I'm always one that,

if you're gonna do it,

take the credit

for it, you know?

It does not excuse him

for holding the blankets

over my head at night.

Yeah, holding

the covers down.

We call that

the "Dutch oven."

My Mom doesn't really

make any farts.

Cameraman #2:

Is she the silent type?

Yep.

And then, um...

And then she, um...

Well, we always say

her farts smell like roses.

'Cause they don't.

Man:

Is that what she

tells you to say?

With no one else

to frame

I take the blame

You can't believe

it's been me the whole time

Rotting gas

Whoa ooh whoa oh oh,

ho ooh oh oh oh

Smells like ass

Oh ooo oh oh oh

- I think I farted

- In the bed

- I think I farted

- In the bed

- I think I farted

- In the bed

I think I farted

No, it's social acceptance

and it's a difficult one,

because even I,

as a performing flatulist,

understand that.

( farting )

People say to me,

"Hey, don't break wind in here."

You know, and like,

well, look, I'm a professional.

You know, I've got

more control than you.

So that's rubbish,

you know.

It's not

dinner table subject

except at our dinner table

some times,

but that's just because

somebody just did it.

We had standards.

You weren't supposed

to just go into church

or something

and fart loud

and get a high five for it,

but you know, it--

So you still

had to have respect

for your surroundings

and especially

big public places.

And, you know, my parents

would get embarrassed,

or my Mom

moreso than my Dad.

My Dad would give you

the high five, down low,

but, you know,

keep it hidden.

I can't-- I don't know

if there is any one story

people talk about having

flatulence on airplanes,

in job interviews

and the social embarrassment

that goes along with it

associated with that.

Work or having sex

would be the worst.

That is when

it's not acceptable.

I disagree.

( all laughing )

- ( farts )

- ( men shouting )

Dawson:

It came out and I got

more coverage on that

and sold more of that than all

my other books combined.

People,

remember this man

- because this man

- ( speaking native language )

will be able to tell you

that Mr. Methane

does trump

from his bottom.

Because now,

this gentleman

is going to place

his left earlobe

on my anus.

( laughter )

And we're going to fart

in his ear.

Farting was still

fairly, uh...

It was still fairly taboo

in the United States

and, uh, they had all these

morning zoo programs

and they were looking for

any excuse they could find

just to say

the word "fart"

or to play

fart effects on,

you know--

you know,

on the air.

So, after the book

came out in February of '99--

for like

the next six months

I was up pretty much

every morning around 4:00

doing all these

morning zoo shows.

Oh man,

it was just--

I was laughing so hard

I was crying,

but I was totally

embarrassed.

It was awful.

Welcome, sir.

Welcome.

- Tommy.

- Tommy.

Welcome, Tommy.

Welcome.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Come and put your left ear

over my anus.

Nice and close.

The left not the right.

It's-- not the right,

- the left.

- The left.

- The left.

- Oh, okay, okay.

This is nothing

gay here.

This is like men bonding

like Vikings, okay?

- Make him close.

- Nice and close.

- Okay?

- ( speaking native language )

It does not have teeth.

It does not bite.

Even closer, closer.

Here we go.

( overlapping chatter )

Okay, five...

All:

Four, three,

two, one.

( farts )

But that's the worst part,

when you think

you have to fart

and you're

really worried

that it might

not be a fart.

( laughs )

Ah... Doo-doo.

( speaking native language )

Sammy, Sammy,

I want to thank you...

That-- that--

that was real.

That was-- that was...?

That was definite real.

- I'm serious.

- Woman:
True.

You know,

you walk away

and that might

leave a mark.

Oh, God.

Don't do that.

Uh, sorry about

the mess there.

- Man:
Mr. Methane?

- You'll have to wash it off.

Doo-doo.

I just said

"doo-doo" again.

We're just setting up

the competition.

- ( laughs )

- I'm just saying.

Female interviewer:

Is that when you go look

for a restroom

at that point?

- Well, it might be too late.

- Too late.

Uh, that was maybe

a fart fret in English.

What do you think?

He tried fart hard.

He tried, yes,

but you've got to make sure

you don't go

all the way.

You know,

it's difficult.

You have to get

the balance right,

'cause you can have

an accident.

Okay.

This is my signature look.

I think I may have

just pooped myself.

Like, there is a girl

that Troy and I work with

that came in--

and she came in

and she's kinda higher up,

and she's like,

"Well, I have a question"--

all serious.

And as she opened her mouth

to ask the question,

her butt opened

at the same time,

and she just farted

all the way through

this question

- and went, "Oops."

- ( fart )

I couldn't even focus.

I just kinda...

And I thought,

I'm at work. I can't laugh.

'Cause I--

it's not funny at work.

I mean, it is funny,

but I would never do it at work.

And when she left,

as soon as she--

I knew she got down

to her office--

I couldn't control myself

the rest of the day.

The day was over.

Like, they should have

just sent me home.

Like, she just said,

"Oh, whoops."

And then walked out.

Like not even

"excuse me, " but just...

I'm like, you just

opened your mouth

and your butt

at the same time.

How can you even

face me ever again?

And being a boy,

you know how it was,

we just, you gotta go,

you gotta go.

- ( fart )

- Absolutely.

So, it's a natural, human

bodily function anyway, so...

Female interviewer:

But it was seen as rude.

It was seen as rude,

absolutely.

The louder you sing,

the louder I fart.

( speaking native language )

I do feel in any case,

um, in company,

there's a time and a place

for the farting.

And-- and--

and I don't start to fart

around the dinner table,

you know,

unless I really know

the people there,

and they're

comfortable with it

'cause they understand

that social etiquette.

- I am ready.

- Let's start!

All together now.

Let's do it!

( fart )

Man:

My name is--

( fart )

Yes, that's exactly

what my name is.

And today,

I give you the history

of the whoopee cushion.

( farts )

No, but at my wedding

they tried to put a

whoopee cushion on my chair,

and my kid

thought that was--

My uncles are the ones

that brought the darn thing.

Announcer:

Ready, set--

( airhorn blares )

- ( fart )

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