Fat Albert Page #4

So, Lauri, do you think

that I could be a Big Al...

instead of a Fat Albert?

You can be anything

you wanna be.

Thank you.

Uh, can I get you

a soda or something?

You're so sweet.

But you just got me a soda.

Oh, yeah. Right.

You're very nice...

Big Al.

- I'll go get you a soda.

- But--

Hey, Rudy.

- Hey, Darren.

- Check this out, man.

- Nice hat.

- Right back at ya.

What are you doing?

- I'm-- - You, uh, wouldn't happen to be

hiding, now, would you?

Now, Doris, come on.

Just take a chance and go for it.

You know, there's

something about you.

Something very familiar.

Hey, hey, hey.

You watch me every day.

Now let's go.

We have got some partying to do.

Some partying? Nobody ever

asks to dance with me anyway.

Tsk. Well, they will...

tonight.

- You do one, Mushmouth.

- "Mushmouth"!

- Knock, knock.

- Who's "theres"?

Hebbada, hebba, dabbada

and bedebada...

and bada dubba.

- What-- What he say?

- I don't know.

Oh, they're making fun of him.

Maybe we should leave.

Yo, yo, yo.

What up, everybody?

Yo, Viper.

How we doin' tonight? I mean, is this party

off the hook or what? What's up, y'all?

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

So, look. I've got

a big, fat treat for y'all.

And, uh, coincidentally, uh,

his name is, uh, Fat Albert.

Ignore him, Albert.

He's just trying to humiliate you.

Come on up here and, uh, say a few words

to the crowd, uh, Fat Albert.

No, no. Albert, don't.

Why not?

Lauri'll never talk to him

after this. Trust me.

All right, all right.

Thank you.

Where's the cord?

Sit down, big guy.

There is no cord, uh,

my oversized friend.

What you got to say,

big man?

I'm gonna sing a song.

Please, no.

Okay.

Viper, why don't you hook him up

with a little groove?

Hook him up.

Hook him up.

Hey, hey, hey!

It's Fa-a-a-a-t Albert!

- Albert can sing?

- I sure hope so.

Well, aren't you the hip-hop fool.

Go, Albert.

Go. Go. Go. Go.

Go. Go, Albert. Go. Go.

Hey, yo, I'm not so sure this

was such a good idea, Reg.

Shut up, dummy! There's something

strange about those kids though. I'm--

Go. Go. Go. Go.

Heb-- Hebbo.

Heba, baby.

I don't know what I'm saying.

That's great.

Look at him.

I know what Lauri's doin'. She's just

dancing with him to make me jealous.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Man.

Havin' a good time?

It's okay.

So, uh, you see anyone

you'd like to dance with?

Hey, sweet thing.

Wanna dance?

Reggie, no.

Please, Reggie, don't.

- Aw, come on, baby. Don't be like that.

- I said stop it, Reggie!

Hey, you should be glad

I even danced with you!

Hey, man. You're like school

on Saturday. No class.

I knew I should've never

come to this party.

Rudy, be a gentleman.

See how Doris is doing.

Hey.

You stay away from her...

or you're gonna

have to deal with me.

Right. Uh, next time.

Lauri, wait. Lauri.

Doris. Doris, would you

please wait?

Doris.

- We thought we were helping.

- Helping what?

I don't have a problem.

I was doing just fine

before you guys arrived.

So, uh, do you have, like,

a special guy or somethin'?

No, I don't have time for boys.

Anyway, I'm better off

working on my writing.

- Oh, you want to be a writer?

- Mm-hmm.

Since I was a little girl.

- I want to tell stories.

- Really? What kind?

I don't know. I guess...

kind of personal stuff.

You know, maybe about how

a person feels because...

their parents...

are no longer around.

Sorry about that.

I miss them-- a lot.

Sometimes it hurts so bad, I don't want

to care about anyone again.

You know what? You should be

walking on this side of the street.

Why?

Is that some kind of macho thing?

No, it's just, you know, the gentleman

should walk on the side with the traffic.

That way, if a car,

like, splashes mud...

or jumps the curb, he can push

the woman out of the way.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Okay.

Oh, uh, I-- I--

We're here.

- It's your house.

- Yeah.

You can go inside now.

Um, thanks for

walking me home.

Well, good night.

You know, uh, allow me.

You are such a gentleman.

My Big Al.

Me and you. B.F.F.?

B.F.F.?

"Best friends forever."

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I had no business

going to that party.

- I should have never listened to Albert and--

- What is with you?

Ever since your grandpa passed away,

you're not the same.

It's like you've given up.

You know, the guys were just

trying to help.

I suppose you're right.

Well, at least you had a good time.

So, what's with you and Albert?

Oh. He seems nice.

Why don't we invite him

to the track meet on Saturday?

Um, I don't think Albert's

gonna be here on Saturday.

Where will he be?

Uh, I don't know.

- Besides, the fewer people

who see me run, the better. - Doris...

you've got to start

believing in yourself.

You used to be one of the fastest

runners on the team.

Good night, Lauri.

Good night.

- Morning, Doris.

- Hey, Doris!

Rudy says that you're mad at us. Are you?

No. It wasn't your fault. I should have

known better than to go to that party.

Wait. You guys haven't

been here all night, have you?

No. We just got here a little early. We didn't

want to miss goin' to school with you.

I see.

Look, you guys, I don't think you should

go to school with me.

I think people

are getting suspicious.

- Uh, well, that-- that's cool.

Yeah. We understand. - Yeah.

Um, is Lauri home?

No. She had an early class.

Are you guys okay?

You look a little... pale.

- A little washed out.

- Washed out?

Well, I don't know. Anyway...

if you guys get bored, there's a park,

like, two blocks that way.

So I'll see you later on.

2:
30. Showtime.

I knew it.

She's right. We are fading.

Stop worrying. I mean,

we can't do anything about it anyway.

- We have to wait until 2:30.

- To the park.

Yeah, bu--

New school.

Okay.

Old Weird Harold,

you ever play basketball before?

Not that I remember.

You caught it!

That was amazing!

The only thing you ever

caught before was a cold.

Hey, man. You wanna play?

We could use another guy

for three on three.

I lba stayba wayba.

All right.

Exercise equipment.

How cool is that?

I'll see you guys later.

I'm goin'to the school library.

You can't read.

I can now. I think.

Okay. But don't be late.

2:
30.

- To the library!

- To the slide!

Come on!

Come on.

Yeah. Come on.

Hebbie deboe.

What are you saying?

- He-- Hebbie deboe.

- Are you saying hello?

- Yebba.

- You talk funny.

- Baba baloomba.

- No.

- Balloon.

- Babaloomba.

Don't you get it?

Ba-loon. Say "ba".

- Ba.

- Now say "loon".

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