Fat Albert Page #3

- Look, you got a problem with racing me?

I don't have a problem.

I solve problems.

That's what he does.

Arthur!

Okay, okay.

I'll race you, but...

- I can't take my clothes off.

- Great.

'Cause nobody want to see

all that blubber anyways.

Yeah.

On your mark.

Get set. Go!

- Go, Fat Albert! Go!

- Come on, Fat Albert!

- You're gaining on him!

You're gaining on him!

Yeah!

You're doin' very well, Reggie.

You run really fast.

Runnin' is good exercise,

isn't it? Later.

Oh, crap!

You know what, Reggie?

Even though you came in second place...

it doesn't mean

you're not a winner too.

You haven't seen

the last of me. Fat man!

Fat, fat, fat, fat!

Hey, yo.

Nobody makes a fool

out of Reggie except for Reggie.

Let's hear it!

Yea!

How did you do that?

You were amazing.

Hey! Lauri, Doris, come on!

Let's move it!

Gotta go.

2:
30 tomorrow.

You're out of here.

Doris, Eliza, city finals are Saturday,

and I want us ready.

This year I expect us to win.

Albert, hold up. Albert,

stop running so fast. Slow down.

You think Lauri likes me?

Even though I'm fat.

Isn't it the person who matters

and not how they look?

- Beats me. I don't know.

- I never had a girlfriend.

You had a girlfriend?

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought.

Albert, wait.

You know, she blew in my eye.

Fat Albert, try to stay focused.

- You got a problem to solve--

- I know that.

Look!

See. That's who we are.

Yeah. And we're

coming out on "divda".'

- What's "divda"?

- I don't know.

Don't start.

We don't belong here.

You-- You guys think

we're losing a little color?

No, Mr. Worrywart.

Guys, I see cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders? Those are

the most popular girls in school.

Well, come on! We gotta get 'em

to be friends with Doris.

That'll solve everything.

Uh, excuse me.

Yeah? Who are you?

Well, I'm Fat Albert.

Is there something

I can do for you, Fat Albert?

Well, it would be really nice

if you could be friends with Doris.

- Excuse me?

- You see, Doris doesn't have any friends...

- and we have to fix that and get her some.

- Yeah.

Isn't that sweet?

I'll tell you what. Why don't you guys

come to my party tonight.

Daddy's having

the whole street blocked off.

- And you can bring Doris.

- We'd love to have her come.

- Oh, okay.

- You did it, Albert.

Hey, hey, hey!

Fat Albert's gonna save the day.

Hey, ho!

You did what?

- We talked to Heather.

- We told her about your problem.

Stop that!

What part of "I don't have

a problem" don't you understand?

She invited you to her party.

- And she invited us too.

- Isn't that great?

Well, she didn't want me

to go before.

You want us to go back

in the TV, don't you?

Are you threatening me?

Is it working?

- You really wanna go?

- I'm a party animal.

- What about you?

- Is Lauri gonna be there?

Please.

She really wants you to go.

Okay.

Okay, okay. Okay.

But first we have to

go to the mall.

What's a mall?

Wow! It looks like an indoor town.

- All right. Everybody stay with...

- Whoo!

me.

I don't even know why I'm doing this.

I mean, it's a party.

I hate parties.

Hey, hey, hey!

Okay. You win.

Oh. You guys stay here.

I'm gonna try this on.

An arcade in a mall.

Is this a great country or what?

What did he just say?

You watch your mouth.

Ah, you rock, dude.

Hey, man.

It's sayin' things.

Whoa! That was tight!

- Hey, man. How'd you do that?

- I don't know. But it was tight.

Why don't you stay here

and wait for Doris?

Sure. Great.

I mean, cool.

Okay. I'm gonna go check out

the-- the Big and Tall.

Hey, you. If you're looking

to buy, I'm your guy.

And for talking to me,

you get a hat... for free.

Hey, hey, hey!

I like free.

Now this is you.

- Wow.

- Now, come on. Let's get this sweater--

Uh-- You know...

I can't take my sweater off

because, uh--

I don't know

what's underneath it.

Okay. Well...

let's put the jacket on

over the sweater.

Oh, okay.

Okay?

- See how nicely this slims you?

- You think so?

I know big,

and you, my friend, are big.

And fat. I'm Fat Albert.

Well, when I'm done with you,

you're gonna be Big Al.

That'll be $10,428.22.

Uh, I-- I don't have any money.

- Why didn't you tell me that?

- You didn't ask.

W--

...and mobile snapshots.

It's 2004's ultimate

communicating device.

I ba looka gooba.

- Hey, I look good too.

- Soba-soba.

How come you never give me

any compliments?

Ooba gooba looba loo.

Thanks. Ooh.

Thanks. Ooh.

Hey, Bucky, look!

They still jump rope.

What are we waiting for?

They call that double Dutch.

Doris, where did you

learn to jump rope like that?

- That was fantastic. - Oh, it's just

something my grandpa taught me.

No big deal.

Lots of kids are better.

All right. Enough fun for one day.

I think we can go home now.

Yeah! Let's go!

All right! Hey, hey, hey!

I guess I showed him.

Nobody messes with me

or Fat Albert.

He's never comin' back.

So the junkyard

is goin' to be ours!

Ours! Ours!

- Ow!

- So long, sucker!

Get back here, you little--

- Oh goodness,

there's some whacking coconuts!

So, Big Biggie!

This is working?

You know it's not easy

as it works!

Sometimes, I can move

the antenna.

Sometimes, I lost the remote.

And sometimes that my bottom

itches really bad!

Oh, Biggie, you poor thing!

By the way, we got a free case!

Ooh!

So this is the thanks

I forgot for working overtime!

Overtime!

Stop, if you can say it all over!

But no, you refuse to do it!

- Can you hear me?

Give it to me or...

I gotta go.

Go to sleep, Biggie.

Okay!

- They call that singing?

- No, they call that talking.

Whatever they call it, I like it.

Man, it's somethin' out here.

Yeah, it's fast out here.

It is nice out here.

What about our world?

We always had fun there.

Yeah, but that was before

we came out here.

Yeah, and here nobody

has to write it in for us to have fun.

- We don't belong here.

- Bill may be right.

You guys see the picture me

and Mushmouth took at the mall?

- I think we lost some color since then.

- Whubba?

- Holy cow.

- Hey, hey, hey.

It's just a picture.

Pictures aren't real.

Neither are we.

I can't believe

Dumb Donald is right.

We aren't real,

and I think we're fading.

Hey, hey, hey.

We're not fading.

Stop being such a downer.

Doris, you look great.

You look tight.

- What'd you just say?

- I learned it in the mall.

Oh. Well, don't talk

that way about Doris.

You-- You really think

I look okay?

When you walk into the party,

people are gonna notice.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes