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Father of Invention Page #3
with that midlife crisis
is an earring
You know what would go great
with that winning personality of yours?
A therapist.
- Claire, where are you going?
- My mom's.
Wait up.
I'll walk out with you.
Don't we have our own
washer and dryer?
We have a washer and dryer. She doesn't
want to be around you, douchebag.
You realize you're playing
a plastic guitar?
- Guitar or drums?
- What?
You rag on my Rock Band, I'm gonna
kick your ass. Guitar or drums?
I didn't rag on your Rock Band.
I was making an obser...
Guitar or drums?
Guitar?
I want to play guitar.
You can play the drums.
It makes no sense to me that you would
invite him to your fundraiser.
He lives with us.
That's just rude.
Well, you live with the fish
and you didn't invite the fish.
I did not come here
Well, that's too bad, because
Robert Axle is gonna be the only thing
if you invite him to the gala.
And no one is gonna be writing
a check for you
if they know you're affiliated
with that.
I get it.
Oh, I forgot. I have clothes.
I have clothes to donate
to the women's center.
Ma, it's really okay.
Do you remember that single mother
that you introduced me to?
I know she's got that job interview,
so what about this for her?
Doesn't it just say,
"Hire me," "Power" and...?
- Oh, and you could pair it...
- Mom. Mom.
...with this fantastic leopard.
Just look.
- Mom.
- Just look. Watch.
If we don't raise
the money we need to raise,
can I count on you for a loan?
I swear to God, I'll pay you back.
I mean, you have offered
a thousand times.
And you know what?
that I'm not afraid to ask you for help.
It's a big step for me.
- It's gone.
- What's gone?
The money's gone.
I'm filing for bankruptcy.
You spent $362 million?
Well, you know,
there were funds.
There were mutual things.
And you know what?
There's a lot of causes
that I feel very strongly about,
like that elephant rescue.
What about your album?
It went gold. You sold 500,000 copies.
I bought 498,000 copies myself.
You're kidding me.
I wanted a gold record, okay?
Is that the crime of the century?
You're right.
What do you mean, I'm right?
I'm a horrible horrible mother...
horrible.
Mom.
Yellow is coming.
red red, blue blue.
Oh, this is incredible.
This is like,
feel like a rock star
in the comfort of your own home.
This is one fabrication
I wish I could call my own.
I know. It's like a drug, isn't it?
The crowd is screaming for us.
Imagine this with a microphone.
Eight years
with nothing to do but think,
and I don't come up with one
single good idea.
Dude, don't be so hard on yourself.
I mean, you got a good job.
No, actually I don't anymore.
Blue blue, red.
Wow, that's impressive. They have
some real derelicts working there.
And then I bust myself
trying to fix up this house.
I even hung that painting
for Claire.
She hated it so much,
I wish I'd never done it.
She wasn't mad. She's been trying
to hang that thing since I moved here.
All right, tell me something
about yourself
besides the fact
that you're an angry lesbian.
- That's all I got.
- I got that part. Something else.
I got fake tits when I was 30.
They look real to me.
That's 'cause I had
a take-back-the-night moment
and I had them yanked out
three months later.
Wow, that just totally
threw me off rhythm.
Lorraine baby, come down.
You're scaring us.
and I'm broke.
It's only two stories.
She won't kill herself.
is break her leg.
Mom, I'll be okay.
I see this all the time
in the forest:
baby bird wants to leave the nest;
mama bird gets all antsy,
pacing, pecking.
She thinks baby bird
doesn't know how to fly.
And she flies.
Does she?
Actually no.
A lot of times she dive-bombs
into the ground, beak first.
Okay, that's not helping.
I don't care about the money, Mom.
Okay, but if I come down,
you have to promise
I will not invite him.
I promise.
All right.
Stop, okay? I heard you.
What do you want?
Hi!
Claire!
Yeah, I heard you.
What do you want?
I thought we could
go for coffee.
What?
No, you're not coming with me.
What?
So what is it with your mother
and this music crap?
It's not crap.
It's her thing.
that you sew clothes
for the women at the center.
How long have you been doing that?
Is it okay if we don't talk?
Just trying to start a conversation.
I like magazines more than books.
I like bingo.
And I've been having
rabid erotic sex since I was 15.
I don't need any of the details.
The guy was 39.
Oh, stop it.
You are kidding.
Yes, I'm kidding.
Did you give me this jacket
because it's rainy season
to look like a tool?
A little bit of both.
Huh.
- Thanks.
- You're very welcome.
Hey, are you hungry?
I could eat.
Yeah, me too.
See, some people think
jumping jacks don't do anything.
Well, I'll tell you what, Abby... you do
these jumping jacks for 30 minutes,
you're gonna sweat your balls off.
This sh*t is hard.
All right, now we're doing windmills.
I'll tell you what, Savannah...
you want a boy to text you,
you do these windmills.
You want a date to the prom,
do windmills.
Andre, you want the girls
to think you're hot, do windmills.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
Sorry. I hate to disturb you
in the middle of your class,
but I just... I need your help.
I'm really busy
enriching these kids' lives.
No, that's great.
I just need...
Andre, toes. Toes, not shins. Toes.
I need a new outfit.
Are you sure this is
I'm trying to make you cooler,
you see,
not go to the stores that you
usually go to... the uncool ones.
I haven't been to a store
in quite a long time, frankly.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
He needs to exchange his suit.
Six bucks.
Six bucks?
This cost me four grand.
I sold my first fabrication in this.
This is my lucky goddamn suit.
I don't think it's lucky anymore,
do you?
Don't sell it then.
Use your parolee money. I don't care.
I don't have any more, all right?
I had to buy stuff.
What did you buy?
You know, taxis, donuts,
deodorant.
I'll go up to seven bucks.
- Looks good.
- I feel like an a**hole.
You are an a**hole,
but you look better.
- I look like a lesbian.
- You look gender-neutral.
Gender-neutral? That wasn't exactly
the look I was going for.
It's cool.
It's like urban DJ.
Right.
Lily!
Lily!
- Lily!
- Did you lose your dog, ma'am?
No, it's my daughter.
I can't find my daughter.
- Oh, is that her? Hey.
- Lily, Lily.
Don't ever do that.
Don't ever run away from me
again like that.
You scared Mommy. Do you understand
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"Father of Invention" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/father_of_invention_8061>.
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