Father of Invention Page #4

Oh yeah, saving the day.

Steven Leslie.

Robert Axle.

How's the family?

How's Claire?

Fine. How's my

$1.6 billion company?

It's 2.7 now.

Oh, you feel good about that, huh?

Sucking off the Robert Axle teat?

Your name on the product... you take

the fall when it disfigures people.

My name was the product.

Face it, we could have put

birdshit in a box

and we would have moved

three million units

as long as it was

a Robert Axle fabrication.

What do you want, Axle?

Steve, we live in the world

where parents are so paranoid

about losing their children

that they're willing to put a leash

on them just to keep track of them.

Now imagine if that leash

were wireless.

The kid doesn't feel like a dog;

the parents know the instant

the kid wanders out of a certain range;

they get a vibration on a receiver;

they know where their kids are.

Wireless child leashes

already exist, Axle... not big sellers.

- And you know why?

- Why?

Because nobody's ever thought

to market them to kids.

Say we bury

the leash technology

inside of a kid's watch,

but not just any watch.

I mean, this is like the coolest,

the greatest,

the grooviest gadget watch

ever invented.

It's... are you ready for it?

Watchdawg.

Right? It plays music,

video games,

emails. It takes pictures.

Everything plays music and video games

and takes pictures these days.

What, have you been living

under a rock?

Steve, you're missing the point.

This is about bringing together

a child's need to be entertained

with a parent's need

to keep them safe.

All things are intertwined, Steve.

And all we gotta do

is step out of the way

and let atoms and molecules

show us how easy it is...

Wait, did you just say

the atoms and the molecules?

You know how hard it was for us

to distance ourselves from you?

Do you know how hard it is for me

to distance myself from me?

Axle, from my heart,

I would love to help you, but I can't.

Jesus Christ, Steve.

I gave you your first job.

- Good luck.

- You're gonna regret this.

This is Robert Axle.

Can I speak to Mr. Johnson, please?

- Edward?

- Yeah, Ed.

- Who did you say was calling?

- Robert Axle.

The Robert Axle?

The infomercial guy?

Yes, that Robert Axle.

Well, listen...

Mickey, is this you

joking around again?

No, look, the whole...

Yeah. Yeah, formerly...

hello?

Bob Agzel.

- Robert Axle?

- Agzel.

Hello.

Yeah, hi. Somebody just

called me from this number.

They left a message about a pitch,

but I didn't get a name.

Oh, sorry about that.

No my name is...

- Troy Coangelo.

- Troy Coangelo.

Troy Coangelo.

Okay, and how do you spell that?

T-R-O-Y.

Yeah, no, I got that part.

Oh, C-O-A-N-G-L-O.

- Really? No E after the G?

- Nope.

And you do have

a working prototype?

Ha. I wouldn't be calling

if I didn't.

Oh, now is really not a good time.

Matt leaves for Dubai

on Wednesday.

We're gonna have to get you in

on Tuesday. How's 9:00 AM?

Uh, let me just look for a second.

Mr. Coanglo?

Yeah, I can make Tuesday work.

Okay. All right, great.

We'll see you then.

Okay, thank you very much.

Excuse me.

I wonder if you could help me.

I'm looking for Sam Bergman's

room, please.

You're new around here.

Yes, I guess you could say that.

- Well, let me show you.

- Okay, thank you.

Now you can't have Sam's room,

'cause Sam ain't passed yet.

I'm sorry?

But I can see why you'd want it,

because it's got a good view,

it's close to everything, but...

Yeah, I think you misunderstood.

I'm just here to visit Sam.

I'm not actually moving in.

But Sam ain't passed yet,

so you can't have his room.

Now this room here...

this will suit you just fine.

As a matter of fact,

I tried to get this room,

because across the hall here...

this is Miss Miller's room.

And ooh-ee,

Miss Miller... she is all right.

Great. Harold, hold that thought.

I'll be right back.

Not a bad place.

It sucks.

Yeah? Try prison.

Prison is avoidable.

Senility is not.

Well, what the hell do you want?

I can't just come by and visit

the best engineer I know?

I told you people would get tired

of doing crunches.

You should have listened to me.

You didn't tell me people would

get sick of doing crunches.

You told me we needed

more testing.

And you were right.

Again I ask, what do you want?

A prototype.

I'm retired.

This is a gadget watch for kids.

Combined with what?

A garden hose?

How about a catcher's mitt?

How about child leash technology?

There are so many kids

getting lost out there these days, Sam.

We gotta do something about it.

What makes you think

that I will work with you again?

'Cause you need this

as bad as I do.

Five grand, five days.

- Done.

- You do have the money?

No, but I'll get it.

No money, no prototype.

I mean it, Axle.

This is a brilliant concept. I can't

believe someone else hasn't done it yet.

And it's not like you're asking

for a lot of money here.

I mean, five grand's nothing

when it comes to prototypes.

Neil, you cannot

possibly know

how relieved I am

to hear you tell me that.

Can I interrupt you for a second?

Okay, you know how people

always blow out the candles

on a birthday cake

and then they expect everyone to want

to eat it with their germs all over it?

Introducing the Neilster.

Okay?

I could have bronchitis

and be blowing

on your birthday cake.

May I?

It's good, right?

Showed my boss the business plan...

signed off on a deuce that afternoon.

A deuce?

Yeah, it's loan officer talk

for 20K.

You know what K means, right?

I don't have a business plan.

- You don't have a business plan?

- Shh.

My business plan is

the $1.6 billion empire I built.

Don't write that down.

Just give me one moment here.

What are you d...?

Okay, anything else I should know

before I run this up the flagpole?

No, that's it.

Good. My boss hates surprises.

I am also a convicted felon.

I'm sorry?

I'm a convicted felon.

Oh.

I'm not sure if we give loans

to convicted felons.

I've got a gut feeling

about you though.

And my boss is big

on gut feelings.

Neil, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

And this... it's a great idea.

- Give me just a moment, okay?

- Okay.

Okay, we've got

a new customer... 5K.

I've got a good feeling

about this one.

This gentleman right over here.

Jerry!

Ranger Jerry!

Jerry!

- Hey.

- Punks!

Upsetting my fritillary butterflies.

That's an endangered species, Axle.

You'd better not come back!

Jesus!

Sh*t, my fault.

Well, I hate to bother you

while you're working,

but I need to borrow five grand.

Axle, you're my boy, man.

I'd hook you up just on principle.

But me and Lo... we're a little

strapped for cash at the moment.

Strapped for cash?

That's impossible.

How can you go through $362 million

in eight years?

It's easier than you think, man...

charity, bidding wars on eBay, trips.

It costs 86 grand a day

just to rent your own submarine.

Tell me how much she blew

on this so-called music career of hers.

Let's just say she made

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