Feet First Page #5

Did it bother you?

Uh, no, no, I had

all the air I could stand.

Let's go down for breakfast.

Oh. No, you see, uh,

I don't think so.

I never eat breakfast.

No, you see,

my father never ate breakfast.

In fact, it runs in the family.

Oh, I hate to eat alone.

I'll have my breakfast

up on deck...

...and you can sit with me.

Well, all right. Surely.

- All right. Steward.

- Yes, Ma'am?

I'll have my breakfast

on the upper deck.

Yes, Ma'am.

Come on.

It's funny

you don't eat breakfast.

It's my favorite meal.

Have you been

going without breakfast long?

Well, long enough.

Don't you ever feel tempted

to eat breakfast?

Oh, yes, I do.

But it's willpower.

Oh, indeed, yes.

Say, isn't it nice

eating up here on deck?

Much nicer than the dining room.

Yes.

You know, last night

I sat opposite to a man...

...that had the manners of a zoo.

- He did?

- Yeah, he dunked.

Think of that, he dunked!

- Dunked?

- Yes.

He dunked like this.

He took a piece of toast...

...jammed it down

into his coffee, so.

Got lots of coffee on it,

and then...

Think of that.

Wasn't that terrible?

- Disgusting.

- Yeah, wasn't it?

But he kept right on.

I was sitting right there.

He kept right on.

- Stuck it down in there.

- Oh!

Yeah, like that and took it...

- Wasn't that disgusting?

- Horrible.

I never saw anybody

that would do such a thing.

I could hardly stand...

and then on top of it, look.

He poured his coffee

into his saucer.

Used the backstroke like that.

Then he took the saucer

and went...

He made that noise?

A terrible noise. Oh, well,

I could hardly stand it.

- Disgusting.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, now, look at that.

I drank most of your coffee.

Oh, that's all right.

There's plenty more.

I only want a little.

Oh, well...

Well...

Oh, look at

those cute little things.

You know, I haven't played

with these since I was a boy.

Look, it's a cute trick.

Easy, huh? You try it.

- Oh, I couldn't.

- Oh, it's easy.

Nothing to it.

Here, you throw one up for me.

There you are.

You're just like a seal.

Yeah, that's what I was told.

When I was a boy I used to go...

You're lots of fun.

Do you know any more tricks?

Uh, me-me-me-me.

If a body meets a body

coming through the rye...

Dum de dam dam...

Doop e doop e...

Look, isn't he cute?

Here, give him a piece

of my meat.

Well, my goodness sakes.

That nice ham.

Here you are.

There you are. Nice.

He certainly does like ham.

Mmm, oh, yes,

that's a fine piece.

That's just fine.

Here you are.

Oh, it's a nice dog.

Let's see. Would you like

one of these? Hmm?

Would ya?

Yes, he liked that.

Now, let's see.

Now, look at him. Look at him.

Here you are.

Tried to eat my finger, too.

My magazine's gone, and I was

reading a continued story.

All right, don't cry about it!

Sit down

and I'll get you another.

There's a hundred more

at the newsstand.

- Then go get me one.

- All right.

Uh, excuse me, I've, uh...

I've got about a hundred things

I have to take care of.

Oh. Don't be long.

Looking for something

in particular?

Yes. Have you got

an Everywhere magazine?

Yes, right here.

Oh, well, how much are they?

- Five cents.

- Oh, fair enough.

Thank you.

Miss, have you

an Everywhere magazine?

Yes, we have a...

Well, that's funny,

they were here a minute ago.

Stick 'em up.

Here, read the nice magazine

while mother gets her hat.

Hello. Hello, there.

Can the nice man

have the nice magazine? Huh?

Good...

Shh. Oh, shh shh shh.

Shh, there, there,

there, there, there.

Shh.

Shh. Here, here, here, here.

Ooh, look at that.

Take the nice little...

Why, precious,

where did you get that?

Here, get the little hands

all sticky.

Yes. Fix it up with this.

Yes. All right?

All right, here you are.

Take it. Here.

What, you don't want

nasty old paper?

All right, there we are.

Here. Here, darling.

Oh, Mack, that's grand.

Play some more. Isn't he good?

- He's marvelous.

- I'll say he is.

Hello, Charlotte,

where have you been all morning?

Oh, just hanging around. Have

you seen anyone interesting?

Just this lunatic

who's been following me...

...all over deck this morning.

Honestly, if there's anything

funny around, I get it.

What have you been doing?

I've been talking...

...to that ducky-looking officer

over there.

We've been down to

the engine room and everywhere.

Oh, how thrilling.

How do you do?

Oh, well, I beg your pardon.

Why, you fresh thing.

I have a good notion

to slap your face.

Pardon me.

Come on, Charlotte. Let's go.

I've never met anyone like that.

By the way, Captain.

I certainly want to thank you.

Thank you for the wonderful

courtesy that you did.

Why, hello there,

young fella.

Hey, you're not smoking.

Here, have a cigar.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I have a match. Thanks.

Well, I told you

it would be a marvelous trip.

Nice and cool, too.

It looks like

it, uh, might warm up a bit.

Well, uh, are you going

for a walk?

Uh, yes.

Which way are you going?

Why, I'm going this way.

Oh, well, I'm going this way.

Sorry.

Good-bye.

Say, young man,

what are you doing?

That magazine cost me a nickel.

And you've gone

and knocked it overboard.

Uh, read less and think more.

Well, you two

shouldn't be sitting there.

Walk around. They say it's great

for the appetite.

Well, sir, all food and no play

makes Jack a dull boy.

You see, there's nothing wrong

with my appetite.

No? Well, I'm from Missouri.

You've got to show me.

How about joining us

at dinner tonight?

Oh, do.

Oh, gee, well, surely.

You've got no idea

how delighted I'd be.

All right.

You know, Mr. Harold,

I'm still trying to place you.

And I'm going to do it

sooner or later.

She's funny that way.

- Forward march.

- Don't you hurry me.

First call to dinner.

- Uh, Steward?

- Yes, sir?

What's everybody

all dressed up about?

What's the matter?

Is there a wedding or something?

No, just the usual thing, sir.

Everyone dresses for dinner

aboard ship.

Oh. Well, is it the law?

No, sir, it's just a custom.

- Custom?

- Yes, sir.

But, of course, no one would

think of going to dinner...

...unless properly dressed, sir.

Oh.

- Thank you.

- Yes, sir.

Hello, Harry.

What's the matter?

Feel a little shaky?

Yes. I had to come up

and get some air.

I don't want to miss

that ship's concert today.

Say, have you got

an extra white vest?

Well, sure, there's a couple

in my trunk.

What size do you wear?

Now, that's a little too small.

I'll have to get one from Bill.

Thanks just the same.

Uh, good evening.

What's good about it?

What's the matter?

Feeling upset?

Yes, I'm not a good sailor.

I must've eaten something

that disagreed with me.

Oh, well, that's too bad.

You, uh, get sick easily?

Oh, very easily.

So do I. Yes, sir.

Say, that's a nice suit

you have on there.

What size is it? About 36?

Yeah, I wear 36.

You know,

speaking of getting sick...

...they fed me this morning

some greasy salt pork.

For breakfast.

Oh, yeah, didn't do me

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