Finding Your Feet Page #6

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[Bif] Oh, I love this city.

[Sandra] And it seems to love you.

Okay, and what's this one for

No, I'm not telling you

till you've thrown it.

Yes! Bosh! Right. Yeah, right.

It says that the second one...

Leads to new romance.

What's the third one for'?

It's... Marriage.

One sec. Sandra, erm...

There's something I need...

Well, you're not going to tell me

you're married?

What...

Yeah, Lilly's in the advanced stage

of Alzheimer's.

I thought you told me your wife had died.

No, no, I never said that,

She's been in a care home

for the past five years.

She doesn't recognise me.

She doesn't remember anything

about our life together any more.

Does Bif know?

- Yeah.

- Well, why wouldn't she have told me'?

Well, perhaps she wanted us both

to be happy again.

Oh, I... I can't do this.

Sandra, Sandra, Sandra,

wait, wait, wait' wait.

Please, please, listen, just listen.

I didn't imagine for a minute

that I would be able to move on.

- But then you come into my life...

- I wouldn't have dropped my guard

if I'd known the truth.

But I promise you,

I didn't set out to deceive you.

I've grown really fond of you, Charlie.

But after what I've been through,

I can't be the other woman.

Sorry.

[mobile phone vibrating]

[Sighs]

[indistinct chatter]

Bif.

[mutters]

Jackie, was Bif at breakfast?

I'm not sure but I'm not

at my best this morning.

Ted and I stayed up until 3:00

testing various Grappas.

- Do you want me to go and check'?

- No, no, she's probably just having

a lie in, it's fine,

Thank you, grazie.

- Prego.

Morning.

Did you hear me?

I've been knocking for ages.

Come on, we're gonna miss

the best of the day.

Hmm?

Oh...

No.

Oh... [sobs]

Bif.

[crying]

Growing up with Bif as my big sister,

I inherited my very own

alternative life coach.

I learned the ways of the world

through her example,

and as you can imagine,

it wasn't all textbook stuff.

The one thing she wasn't able to teach me

was how to say her name properly,

which is how she ended up

being known as Bif,

due to my inability

to pronounce Elizabeth.

My biggest regret

is that over the years we grew apart,

and it was only

when we reconnected last summer,

that I realized quite how much I missed...

Her guiding hand.

Her lust for life was contagious.

And being around her again

forced me to wake up

and start making the most of it.

My sister was loyal,

fun,

challenging,

mischievous, generous, loving

and stubborn as a mule.

[mild laughter]

She quite simply refused to be defined

by convention, or more recently,

illness.

She was truly a one-off.

The world is going to be a duller place

without you, Bif.

[ducks quacking]

[whispers] Last one in is a sissy.

[applause]

[indistinct chatter]

- You did very well.

- Are you coming afterwards?

Yes, I'm see you back up there.

Sandra.

Hey, uh...

Can we talk?

About what'?

[Nicola] Mum.

- About how you're coping...

- Mum?

- L...

- I'm going to go ahead and get the car.

Okay.

- You look shattered.

- I'm fine.

No, you're not.

We're not.

Please come home, Mum,

I want to have you with us

for your big birthday.

There's nothing keeping you here,

any more.

I'll see you at the top.

[sighs] Sandra.

- I know there's no point in...

- No. None at all, Mike.

I know I behaved like a complete idiot.

Whatever gave you that idea.

But sometimes the wrong turns in life

bring us to the right place.

I'd do anything, and everything

to take away the pain and humiliation

my stupidity has caused you.

I realize now how much

I really do love you,

have always loved you.

Give me... Us' a second chance,

and I promise,

I won't take you for granted ever again.

Hmm.

[Ted] Is that the lot, Sandra

Yep, that's it.

Well, the charity shops

will not know what hit them.

Half of most of it came

from there in the first place.

[chuckles]

- Good luck, Sandra.

- Thank you.

I really do hope it works out for you.

Well, everyone deserves a second chance.

Even my husband.

And I hope he knows how lucky he is.

[door opens and shuts]

[exhales]

Welcome home, love. [chuckles]

I went to Marks and did

a bit of a food shop.

I got the veal and ham pie we like

for tea.

Er, I couldn't find your pickle.

As you know,

I'm a bit of a stranger to the larder.

I had a whisk round with the hoover.

But I fear my efforts

will not pass muster.

[laughs]

[whirring]

[whirring stops]

[Charlie] Dear Sandra,

I wanted to let you know that Lilly

has sadly passed away.

Now that she has reached the end

of her journey,

it feels like the right time

to embark on a new one of my own.

I'm setting sail for France on the 15th,

from my moorings in Paddington

to make the tide.

So if you're life is still without music,

and you fancy a decent croissant or two...

[girl] Give it to me.

Stop it.

Slower.

- [clinks glass]

- [feedback whines]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

and those of you who are undecided.

[laughter]

We're gathered here today to celebrate

the birthday of my wonderful wife.

Like a fine wine,

she only grows better with time,

and I'm looking forward to sharing

many more vintage years with her.

- [crowd] Aw!

- Happy birthday, my love.

[all singing] Happy birthday to you I

I' Happy birthday to you S'

Come on.

I Happy Birthday, dear Sandra

I' Happy birthday to you S'

[all cheering]

[music playing]

God, look what Gloria is wearing.

Do you remember

that time in Claridge's when,

when we told her to

get the sommelier,

and she tried to order

two bottles of it'?

[giggles]

Do you remember?

Oh, was it Claridge's? My memory.

[laughs]

Granny, can you teach

me how to dance

Oh, I'm in the middle of a story!

Of course, I can, darling. Come on.

Oh!

- I want you to take your shoes off.

- Okay.

Now, I want you to put your feet on mine.

This is really boring.

Can't we do Gangnam Style?

Oh, I don't think I know that.

Wait, wait, wait, stay there, stay there.

EXCUSE me, excuse me,

[upbeat instrumental music playing]

[laughing]

You're making a spectacle of yourself,

Sandra. Everybody's looking.

Who f***ing cares?

I do. You've had too much to drink,

let's get you a coffee.

Come on. Come on.

The last thing I need is a bloody coffee.

I'm stone-cold sober, Mike,

You know, I didn't think anything

could be worse than being betrayed by you.

But actually, I've realized I've spent

the last 35 years betraying myself.

I want you to remember

that granny loves you very much.

I love you, too, darling.

- I'll keep in touch.

- Mum, where are you going?

To see the world. It's bigger than this.

[Ted] Charlie, where'd you want the bait

Yeah, just there by the hatch,

mate, thanks.

Hey, Ted, if you change your mind, mate,

plenty of room in here for a stowaway.

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