Fired Up Page #4

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Sure, I'll teach you

how to do the Fountain of Troy.

Then I'll teach you

to put makeup on a bear!

Absolutely not.

Not only is that move nearly impossible

to execute, it's extremely dangerous.

That move is prohibidado.

- Prohibi-what?

- Prohibidado.

And I say that in Spanish because

that's how exotic and not-allowed it is.

You can't even say "Fountain of Troy"

at this cheer camp.

- Go ahead and say it.

- Fountain of Tr-!

Stop it. What are you doing?

This isn't a game.

I'm not playing around up here.

Honey.

It's just a joke.

First week of cheer camp.

Lighten things up.

Have a good time.

Everybody say it, "Fountain of Troy. "

- Fountain of Tr-!

- Oh, my dear Lord! Oh, gosh, shut up!

He's lost his mind.

Stop it! Nobody does the

Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp.

Now, let's all hit the bunks

and get a good night's sleep.

Welcome to cheer camp.

Hi.

Dibs, dibs. Dibs on the blond

with the butterfly tattoo.

Dibs on that. I'd like that.

Tell me who it is.

- This is Lanie Brown.

- Lanie Brown.

She likes skiing, hip-hop, and playing

with her cat, Sir Pembleton.

- Sir Pembleton? You serious?

- I know, I'm not kidding.

I'm gonna write her name

in my book in no time.

Can't believe you document

your conquests.

Family owns a payroll company.

Love records.

- It's just weird.

- Tell it to our dog, FICA.

Oh, hey, Carly.

What's up, Tigers?

- Hey.

- Going to take a shower?

Yeah. I had my hand

in some kid's mouth this morning.

Good idea. I know where it's been.

And if I don't get some

flesh-eating virus from that...

...I probably will

after I take a shower barefoot.

- I forgot to pack my flip-flops.

- Sucks! See you later.

Oh, here. Take mine.

- I brought two pair.

- Really?

Yeah. No problem.

We're teammates.

Thanks.

- Bye.

- See you later.

Bro, what did I tell you? No hooking

up with girls from our school.

- I was just being nice.

- I don't care, man.

You know where nice leads.

Do not poop where you eat,

remember?

That's why there are no

restaurants called The Bathroom.

There are bathrooms at restaurants.

I was using a metaphor, Shawn.

It is crazy that people think

that you're the smart one.

What's up, ladies?

Hi.

You wanna borrow some flip-flops?

All right, see you later.

Welcome to day one, everybody.

Let's start with a warm-up run.

God, she's such a fox. I guarantee

I'm gonna tap that before we leave.

Dude, she's married,

and like 30 years old.

That's just how I like them:

ancient and regretful.

Yeah. Take it easy on the Dove bars.

- Ready, Shawnzy?

- Sure am, Nicholai.

New guys, move them.

I always knew there was

something else I should be doing.

You know,

like there was something more.

Something more inside me.

I guess you could say

I had a cheer waiting to get out.

And now, well, I live to cheer.

And I cheer to live.

I looked that little kitten

in the eyes...

...and I knew I had to take her home.

And now, Sniffles,

that's who I tell my secrets to.

My grandmother was a cheerleader.

It was what she loved most

in the world.

So when she died, I just

picked up the family pom-poms.

This is weird.

I don't usually open up like this.

It's weird.

I don't usually open up like this.

Tigers!

I love every bone in your body.

Especially mine...?

Tigers!

Tigers can't be beat

Get up on your feet

Tigers can't be beat

Is it my imagination, or do they

not completely, totally suck?

It's your imagination.

Now go imagine me

a bottle of water.

Tigers!

The French say a day moon brings

good luck to whoever sees it.

They also say 8-year-olds

should drink wine.

And if it's a crescent moon,

it'll bring good luck for a week.

What is it now?

I'm jogging with the captain of the best

squad, so I'd say it's pretty crescent.

- Race you.

- Cheering isn't a race.

- This isn't football.

- There's a competition at the end.

Yeah, you're right.

On your mark, get set...

Oh, she cheats. I like it.

Zucchini?

Leafy greens? Kale? Jicama?

And sprouts?

That's the only thing

that sucks about cheer camp.

The sacrifices

I make for ass.

Remember when I pretended to

be into Nickelback for that chick?

- God, they suck.

- So did she. Up top.

Dude, I am not gonna high-five you

for a beejer you got a year ago.

That doesn't count. No.

- Poppy.

- Hi, sis.

Guys looking to go off-menu?

I got Kit Kats, Snickers,

and German sweet tarts.

Wipes out the taste

of every other candy.

I'll take everything you got.

Not here, Shawshank.

The screws are watching.

Put it in the sycamore tree

out back.

- Where's our candy gonna be?

- Check your pockets.

I know. She's got the shine.

Oh, my God, this is so good.

Yeah, it is.

Diora!

Diora!

God, it is you.

The way the moonlight

caught your cheek...

...for a second there,

I thought you were an angel.

Nope, just the head

counselor who decides...

...whether or not to make you

run laps all tomorrow.

God, I love it, huh?

A little back and forth, witty repartee,

Hepburn and Tracy.

I'm not 16, kiddo.

Run along and play.

Still with the witty repartee,

that's terrific.

- You win this round, Miss Tracy.

- Hepburn was the girl.

Ding, ding. Knockout.

It shouldn't be this hard,

she's like 100 years old.

- Shawn. Got a second?

- Yeah. Sure.

Some of the girls have been

talking about you and Nick.

Don't believe anything anyone says.

They've been saying they think this is

the best the team has ever been.

Well, that you can believe.

I just wanted to say thanks.

You guys have been a big help.

Especially you.

Thanks.

It's nice to know that when I get tossed,

you're gonna be there to catch me.

I mean, not that Bianca wasn't good.

It's just, I don't know. You feel right.

I like it too.

You're like a home-run ball.

Fifteen-inch brown trout.

A mild cold. Double feature.

I get it. Things that you catch.

Shut up.

I know at the beginning...

...I may have been against

you two joining the squad-

I believe you called us

"godless douche-monsters. "

It was "soulless beav-wranglers. "

Well, that's better.

I totally misunderstood you.

I'm trying to apologize here.

No need. And accepted.

Hey.

You'd think as a cheerleader

I would be a little more graceful.

I like you clumsy.

It's like I'm looking behind the curtain.

Babe.

Rick.

Rick.

- Who's the face-eater?

- Guys, come meet my boyfriend.

- What is with that car?

- Maybe he won an LPGA tournament.

I missed you.

Me too. Definitely.

Guys, this is my boyfriend.

- Pre-fianc, actually.

- These are the guys I told you about.

- Nick and Shawn.

- What's up, guys? I'm Dr. Rick.

Really?

Pound?

Aren't you a little young

to be a doctor?

- He's pre-med.

- Then why call yourself "doctor"?

Why put off the inevitable?

You should get

that mole checked out.

I'd do it myself,

but I don't have my bag on me.

Your book bag?

- How'd you two crazy kids meet, Rick?

- It's a funny story, actually.

Our parents knew each other from

way back, and they introduced us.

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