Fired Up Page #6

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Be aggressive

B- E aggressive

Where's that Jesse Bradford boy?

I love him. No, seriously.

Seriously. I love him.

I gotta be honest with you, man.

I don't think I'm into

all this hooking up anymore.

- It feels wrong.

- Yeah, it's supposed to feel wrong.

No, I mean, I feel guilty.

I don't know what you're saying.

Milty? Wilty?

Something's not right.

- Tilty?

- I've never felt this way before.

Maquilty?

Is that Dr. Rick?

Awesome song.

Dude, these local chicks are so easy.

It's like banging fish in a barrel.

That Gina was a freak. I've got

bite marks all over my badonkadonk.

Or was that Aubrey?

Whichever one smells like lavender.

I got that stuff all over me.

One of you smell my rod,

will you?

Jesus. This guy's a dick.

I don't get why you came here.

You don't even like Carly.

I told you, man.

Our parents are old friends...

...which means they approve of her,

they give me anything I want...

...including this sick

...that drove your fat ass up here.

Rock it.

Why you gotta take a shot

at my weight?

You know I'm working on it.

He's just using her.

And he likes to get bit in

the badonkadonk, that sick bastard.

I gotta tell her.

- Yeah, no, buddy. Don't tell her.

- No, I have to.

No, no, you really don't.

Yeah, I kind of do.

It's pretty obvious that you're gonna

go against everything I stand for...

...and poop where you eat, so at least

let me help you take that poop, okay?

Trust me, bro, don't tell her.

Why? She needs to find out

what kind of guy he really is.

If you tell her, you'll be the guy who

told her her boyfriend is cheating.

- Yeah?

- Bro, that's all you're ever gonna be.

Best-case scenario,

she looks at you as a girlfriend.

Worst-case scenario, she's pissed

at you for poking in her business.

Either way, you're not poking

in her business.

You marinate with that.

- I hear you. That's good advice.

- It is good advice.

- Thanks.

- That's what friends are for.

- Are you good?

- I'm good.

Carly!

Hey, Carly. There's something

I have to tell you. Carly!

I was wondering where you were.

I was looking for you too.

But you go first. What's up?

I was just wondering

about the moon.

I mean, is it still crescent

or a half-moon?

What the French

have to say about it?

I'm an idiot.

No. No, it's a waxing crescent moon

tonight, and you're not an idiot.

Unless you don't know

what "waxing" means.

I'm a cheerleader,

I know what "waxing" means.

- Carly horse.

- Rick.

- That's what he calls you?

- Yeah. He means it cute.

- What's up, high school?

- You smell like lavender.

Yeah.

We're learning about the effects

of lavender therapy...

...on type-two carcinoma patients.

How's that working out? Anyone go

into remission after smelling a flower?

All right, you caught me, man.

- I picked you some flowers, Carly.

- That is so sweet. Where are they?

I made a special wish on them

and threw them into the sky.

That is so romantic.

We should hit it, Carlito's Way. I told

the guys I'd be done with dinner in 40.

I'll see you at practice?

Shawn here is a great

leather-basket tosser.

What a great trick.

Not as good as yours.

I'll see you tomorrow, Shawn.

- Awesome date.

- I'll see you at the competition?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Bye.

I like you a lot, Carles Barkley.

You're one of the good ones, babe.

You know what reminds me

of the better times?

Before Carly started hanging out

with those two little suck-buckets.

Something's up with them.

Wanna stay and do some digging?

Big-time. You know why?

Awesome song. Chumbawamba.

It's the soundtrack to my life, man.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Go, Tigers!

Cradle. One, two.

Great job, guys.

Let's take a little water break.

Are my hips rotating too late

before the final toss?

I wasn't gonna say anything,

but you gotta rotate and then catch.

Rotate, then catch.

- We're out of water.

- We need two volunteers to refill.

- I'll go.

- Me too.

Dude, don't go. Hey, Shawn.

God-

That was really good.

Keep it up, okay?

Hi.

Listen, I don't know

if I've told you this yet...

...but your coaching, I mean,

it's been incredible.

And whatever happens between us,

you've made me a better cheerleader.

- And for that, I owe you-

- You have some food in your teeth.

And your pecs are uneven.

Make sure you don't favor one side.

Always coaching.

God bless you!

Why can't I crack this?

Damn it.

So...

...how often did you see Dr. Rick

during the school year?

I don't know why he keeps calling

himself that. It's kind of douchey.

Oh, no, no, no. It's super cool.

I can't believe he's my pre-fianc.

I remember when I was 7,

I decided...

...that I was not gonna get married

until I was 34.

- That's very specific.

- Oh, I had it all thought out.

High school, college,

a year abroad in Greece...

...and because, don't laugh,

I always loved Greek salad.

Tomatoes, cucumbers, feta.

No, that makes perfect sense.

I know. It's silly.

I love that you had it

all planned out.

- You know what John Lennon said.

- Not really. I'm not in my 50s.

I could ask my dad.

"Life is what happens when

you're busy making other plans. "

Yeah.

Damn, this is heavy.

Are you okay? You look hot.

Do you want some water?

- Yeah, sure. Thanks.

- Here.

Did you say I looked hot?

I'm pretty sure that's what I heard.

- I heard you screaming like a girl.

- Oh, really?

Oh, my God. Don't move.

There's a bee on you.

What? No. Get it off.

You little b*tch!

All right, week three of cheer camp,

here we come.

I love the smell of pom-pom

in the morning.

Let's do this.

- Where you going?

- Post-breakfast practice.

And then, you know, Carly and I are

gonna work on reverse cartwheels.

My left foot keeps hitching when

I do my inverse swing-over. It's like:

Take it easy.

We're done with this, all right?

Week three. Hit it and quit it.

Oh, no, we gotta-

We gotta stay longer.

Dude, it's time to go.

Remember Mookie's dad's house?

The plasmas and the Jacuzzis.

Yeah, but I just- I think

we should stay just a touch longer.

I'm done. All right?

I've had enough girl.

Breadsticks only keep you

at the Olive Garden for so long.

Till, at some point, you say:

"Why am I at Olive Garden

with these fat people?"

- What? No...

- Let's go.

- Let's talk about this.

- All right, let's go. Let's pack.

Let's just dialogue for a second.

- We don't have to go right now.

- Yeah, we do.

The bus leaves in an hour.

Next one's not until tomorrow.

Yeah, but come on, man.

What about our squad?

You know,

the competition's coming up.

Dude, the squad? The competition?

Listen to yourself.

We had a deal. Two weeks. Right?

Kiss, kiss, bang, bang,

sayonara, cheer camp.

We are leaving

We, we are leaving

We are leaving

Now, come on, dude, start packing.

I need a little bit more time with Carly.

There. I said it. Okay?

I know you think that's lame,

but can you give me one day?

That's not lame, bro. That's gay.

Well, technically, pursuing a woman

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