Fired Up Page #7

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you have heterosexual feelings for...

...that's not gay, Nick.

But using a rotating inverse

swing-over to do it? Yeah, that is.

Shawn. Don't forget we're gonna

go over our reverse cartwheels.

- Okay, I'll be right there.

- See you there.

All right. Right behind him.

All right, come on, man, let's go.

You know the deal.

And trust me,

you're gonna thank me for this.

All right, let's go, Shawnzy.

And no more moping. All right?

Not an attractive color on you,

nor is orange and gray.

Takes away from your eyes.

Damn it, damn it, damn it...

What are you doing?

Well, probably making

the biggest mistake of my life.

Except that year

I wore that leather wristband.

How did I possibly think that's cool,

you know? I'm not a blacksmith.

That was a little Nickelback-y.

You like this girl,

you're my boy, we stay.

Well, what about Mookie's house?

Are you coming or not?

Are you sure we are staying?

We, we are staying?

No, I'm not sure,

so don't turn a yes into a no.

Thank you, Nick.

Thank you so much, man.

I know you don't like

man-to-man touching...

...but my arm is on your shoulder.

Here comes my arm right now.

- Another day

- Another holler

You're wasting my precious breath.

I can't hear you.

- Another day

- Another holler

- Another day

- Another holler

Another day

Hey, bro, got a second?

Wrong section of the woods.

You want the northeast corner

near the redwoods.

What? I wanna know if you know

two dudes named Nick and Shawn.

Yeah. They're my bunkmates. Why?

Five, six, seven, eight. One, two,

three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

- Angela, no.

- Are you okay?

Easy, Tiger. Easy, Tiger.

- I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine.

- You all right?

I'm okay.

Sorry, guys, I just suck.

- It's not just you. We all kind of suck.

- We're not good at all.

- Hey, stop. Stop talking like that.

- But it's true.

We're just not that good.

Stop.

Enough of that.

You can go as far as you want.

What do the Panthers have

that you don't have?

- Skills.

- Athleticism.

- Kickass cheers.

- Hair removal.

Big-ass titties. I'm just saying.

Confidence.

They're cocky a**holes.

Like Nick, the cockiest a**hole on the

football field. That's why he's good.

- I'm awesome.

- Because he believes in himself.

Also because I'm awesome.

He knows he's gonna be good,

so he's good. And he takes chances.

Due to the fact that I'm awesome.

- Nick. Trying to make a speech here.

- I'm sorry.

Either bet big or go home.

If you don't wanna take any chances,

then you shouldn't even be here.

I know you wanna be here, because

you finish last every single year...

...but you keep coming back...

...even if it means

taking endless sh*t...

...from total dong-knockers

like the Panthers.

I wanna cut the blond one.

- What?

- What?

- What?

- What?

- What?

- I'm just saying.

Come on, guys.

Let's be cocky a**holes.

He's right.

And I can say that...

...because I am the best cheerleader

here, so you can all suck my dick.

I was just being a cocky a**hole.

Oh, nice. Did you see

what she was doing there?

That's exactly what I want

from everybody.

All right, let's do this.

And remember, you're awesome.

Let's risk it to get the biscuit.

All right, get cocky, b*tches.

Let's do it. Come on, guys. Ready.

Hit it!

All you chumps

Think you got poise

You prance around like little toys

Do you really think

You can make some noise?

Five, six, seven, eight.

Tigers!

- Get cocky.

- Get cocky.

Come on, everybody.

Let's go, tigres.

There it is.

All right, get cocky.

Here we go, here we go.

Keep it tight.

Everybody, let's work.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

There it is.

Go big, Shawnzy.

I'm doing it, brother.

Awesome. So much better.

Tigers!

All right, la tigres. Come on.

That's my girls,

bringing some A-game.

You are some cocky b*tches.

I think it's safe to say that you guys

are now officially Tigers.

- Right, girls?

- All right.

One, two, three.

Tigers!

One, two, three, frauds!

- Rick?

- These two have been playing you.

They didn't come

because they like cheerleading.

They came here because

they like cheerleaders.

- Yeah, we know.

- Everyone knows.

Why are you here?

What's going on, Rick?

- Bus tickets.

- Damn it.

Your friends were planning on leaving

before the competition...

...without any feeling for anyone

they may have left in their wake.

- Animals.

- You were gonna leave?

Well, we were gonna, but we didn't.

That's way before you and I ever-

- You were gonna do this to the squad?

- I can explain.

I can't believe you. I mean,

I knew you were here to get girls, but...

- ... I thought you started to get into it.

- I did.

It started off being about girls,

but then it became about you.

- Wait, that doesn't sound right.

- That sounds exactly right.

Bail, brother. Bail.

I really like you, Carly.

That's close enough, dicklick.

This is how you show someone you

like them, Shawn? By lying to them?

To be fair, he lied to you

before he really cared...

...then he tried super hard to word it

so it wouldn't be a lie after that.

Just so we're on the same page.

If these weren't tools for healing,

I would crack you in the jaw.

- You're a tool for healing.

- That's right.

You're the guy

who's fancy with his words.

Well, then, why don't

I just read your diary?

- Where did you get that?

- I've done a bad thing. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm a sorry Suzy

right now. He tricked me.

You tricked me.

This is how it happened.

Brewster!

He said he wanted to leave you a note,

I brought him to the bunk.

He must've seen

your stuff on the couch.

- Why was it on the couch?

- I was cleaning up your mess.

I told you I can't stand clutter.

I warned you.

- Give me the book back.

- "Cheer camp, day one.

The sun rises in the summer sky...

...like Rembrandt's brush

on a dogwood branch. "

- Queeratron.

- Let's go. Give it to me.

Back up, Abercrombie & B*tch.

"And thereby Diora-"

"I lie awake thinking, will I ever say

'Diora,' as a whisper in an ear?

Will she ever say "I love you,"

in a moment with a tear?"

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Carly, I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Just leave, okay? Just leave

like you always planned on doing.

Carly, please, let me explain.

Give me just one second.

See you later, high school.

I didn't write that. I bought the book.

It was in there.

It was beautiful.

Thanks.

Never really thought of that one.

Using one's true feelings

to wrangle snooch.

So simple.

So we lied and we got caught.

So what, huh?

We're humans. Humans lie.

They tell big gigantic two-week-long

lies because they're humans.

Stop saying "humans. " We did this.

Because we're humans.

All right, humans are

the only species that can lie.

Except for maybe chameleons.

And possums. They play dead.

What's that?

It's Downey's bracelet.

Yeah, I love that kid, huh?

Said it was cool, so he gave it to me.

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