Fired Up Page #8

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How nice.

Those are his... beads, bro.

Downey liked you.

Like, "liked you" liked you.

What? That's crazy.

Downey isn't gay.

Nick, come on. Think about it.

I'm Nick. This is Shawn.

- What's up? I'm Downey.

- Hey. Nice to meet you.

Put it in there.

A little cheer camp. Crazy good times.

Yeah. It's gonna be fun.

Panther meat!

I said, hey, Tigers!

- Yeah?

- Hey, Tigers!

Diora.

Hey, Nick.

You wanna go out on the field...

...and maybe count shooting stars

with me?

You're classic, Downey. Classic.

Raw-hamburger fight!

I'm hit.

Medic!

This man needs some jocks-ygen.

Come on, we're losing him.

Don't you die on me. Don't die on me.

Don't you die on me.

You prance around like little toys

Do you really think

You can make some noise?

Five, six, seven, eight.

Tigers!

Welcome back to Sucktown.

Population:
you.

Without your gigolos, looks like

you got last place sewn up, again.

Why don't you get your nose job

out of everybody else's business.

I got thrown by a horse.

Why? Was he spooked because

you both have the same face?

You're gonna die. You're gonna die.

Carly, don't.

You're placing your anger at the boys

on them. It's transference.

You're right.

I'm gonna punch you in the throat!

Let it go.

Look at that little hottie. Wonder

what she wants to do with her life.

What?

You know how Bianca

wants to go to cooking school...

...and Sylvia wants to be a pilot,

and...

Oh, my God.

I actually know these girls,

as, like, friends.

And I care.

I'm becoming

like a fully formed person...

...with like sensitivity and empathy.

All right, I'm a person!

Look at the pooper on that one.

I could rest my beer on that sh*t.

And you're back. What kind of

dressing goes on a Greek salad?

Olive oil, top shelf.

Is it me, Shawnzy, or is this not nearly

as much fun as it was last year?

It's not you.

This is too high. Give me a boost.

Shoulder stand.

- Ready?

- Okay.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

- Grab.

- Out, drop, catch, dismount.

Catch. Yeah, buddy.

Guys?

Don't take this the wrong way...

...but I think there's someone

you should talk to.

Hello, I'm am Reginald

von Belly Button.

I love Twinkies.

The competition's tomorrow.

I wonder if we could win it.

Did you say

"I wonder if we could win"?

- No.

- Yes, you did.

- You totally did.

- Didn't.

You wanna go back.

You're into cheering.

I'm the captain of the football team.

I could give a rat's ass about cheering.

- You're a cheerleader.

- You're misquoting me.

Do you wanna go back?

For you. Because I can't stand

seeing my best friend in Frown Town.

That's how selfless I am.

I would sacrifice myself

to cheer you up. I'm like Gandhi.

- Gandhi?

- Gandhi!

- Mahatma K. Gandhi.

- Quake'n Bake!

Bus leaves in 20 minutes.

If we extend our high V's, we have

a chance at landing that aerial.

I don't know who you are anymore.

Kenny's asleep on the couch.

We're gonna get whipped cream

and paint his face.

- Come on.

- Be right there, dudes.

- Right behind you, bro.

- Oh, my horse is peeing.

What is that?

Go back to sleep.

Why are you in my bed?

I must have sleepwalked.

I'm here now.

Let's just make the best of it.

Get out of my bed, Bianca.

- I kind of can't.

- Why?

I might not have pants on.

- What are you doing here?

- I came back.

- I can see that. Goodbye.

- Carly, just listen to me.

- Why?

- We're teammates.

Teammates don't join a team

under false pretenses...

...then leave once they

get what they want.

I know you're pissed at me,

and you should be. I lied to you.

But this is about the squad. We all

worked way too hard to throw it away.

How are you standing in the air?

Just take us back already. Christ!

Nick. Carly...

...I like you,

but that's not why I'm here.

Oh, rock me, sexy Jesus.

- Why are you here?

- Honestly?

- No. Lie to me again.

- Shawnzy, make it quick, buddy.

- Buddy.

- I like cheering.

Fraggle Rock.

I'm sorry, man.

My pecs are sore.

Oh, my God, Diora's right.

My left side is weaker.

- I favor one side.

- Pull me up. Pull me up.

Is this your plan

to get a little face time with me?

No. I'm dying here, seriously.

- Carly, come on. We need them.

- I don't wanna come in last again.

Fine. But I'm only doing this

for the squad.

You got it.

- Bianca?

- Yeah.

Any chance you could throw on

a pair of underpants?

It's competition day today.

Competition.

- Wow, this is big-time.

- Yeah, it is.

Well, well, well, if it isn't a couple

of wolves in cheer clothing.

Which part of "next time I see

your punim they'll be on the moon"...

- ... didn't you understand?

- Like, the whole thing?

I'm gonna have to go ahead

and ask you both to go ahead...

...and leave right now to leave now.

It's all right.

I told them they could stay.

You really want these strong-jawed

philanderers on your squad?

Yeah.

It was just a little misunderstanding

we had before.

All right. Your choice.

Next time you screw up,

I'm gonna have both your asses.

That's frightening.

Let's move it along.

Giddyup and roar.

Let me see those claws.

Move it along.

Meet me on Taryn Field tonight

after the competition. Bring your diary.

Only if you bring the dance

in your step...

...like a shimmering nymph

traveling the back of the wind.

Good afternoon, and welcome

to Channel 29's coverage...

...of the Regional Southeastern

Illinois Cheerleading Competition.

Bend at the hips and reach through

your hands. Don't lock-

God, please give us the strength to

land our flip-flops and basket tosses.

Amen. Oh, and fix the economy.

- Red leather, yellow leather.

- Red leather, yellow leather.

- Unique New York.

- Unique New York.

- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.

- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Kill, Panthers, kill. Panthers, kill...

- Shawn.

- Carly.

- What you did really hurt me.

- I know, I know. I know.

I want you to know why. It's just

I thought you and I got really close...

...and I trusted you.

I know.

I felt the same way about you.

I'm really sorry, Carly.

And I don't expect you to forgive me.

I want you to know I'm sorry.

There's my Carly Davidson!

Hi, Rick.

- Just came by to say break a leg.

- That's theater. This is cheering.

You better believe it.

- What's up, Dick?

- It's Rick. Dr. Rick.

God, I keep doing that.

You just look like such a Dick to me.

What are you crunt-sacks

doing back here?

It's okay. They're just helping us

do our final routine.

I'll be watching you.

Yeah. That's exactly what an audience

member does at a performance event.

Just go sit down, Rick.

Robert De Niro,

Meet the Parents reference. Love it.

- God, he seems great.

- Really nice.

I like him.

Here you go. Look alive.

Coming at you.

Here you go. Look alive.

Coming at you. Here you go,

freak shows. New uniforms.

- Here you go. Look alive.

- We didn't order these.

No sh*t, lesbatron. My brother did.

We're a new squad.

We need new uniforms.

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