Fishing Naked Page #2

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

IT'S ALMOST LUNCHTIME.

LADIES FIRST.

HOME SWEET HOME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHAT'S THIS?

HOME.

SINCE WHEN?

OH, JEN AND I GRADUATED

LAST MONTH...

...AND DECIDED TO GO MINIMALIS INSTEAD OF ENTERING THE MACHINE.

MINIMALIST, HUH?

SO, WHAT DID YOU TWO STUDY

TO DRIVE YOU OUT HERE?

AMY, PHILOSOPHY,

ME, MATHEMATICS.

AND I WANTED TO EXPLORE

MY ROOTS AS WELL.

NICE SATELLITE DISH.

IT'S JUS FOR INTERNET ACCESS.

WE DON'T BELIEVE

IN TELEVISION.

OKAY. OKAY.

YOU GUYS AREN' EXACTLY ROUGHING IT.

NO ONE SAID YOU HAD TO BE

UNCOMFORTABLE...

... TO COMMUNE WITH NATURE.

COMMUNING. YEAH.

YOU'RE JUS A REGULAR POCAHONTAS.

OH, I LIKE YOUR LANDSCAPING.

OH, REALLY?

YOU LIKE OUR LANDSCAPING?

YEAH, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN

HANDLE OUR LANDSCAPING.

OH, PLEASE.

I CAN HANDLE:

YOUR LANDSCAPING.

I SAW THE FIRST STAR.

I GET TO MAKE A WISH.

DO YOU THINK:

THERE'S ALIEN USSES...

... ON ANOTHER PLANET...

... SOMEWHERE OUT THERE

LOOKING AT US...

... AND WONDERING IF THERE ARE

OTHER PEOPLE IN THE UNIVERSE?

CLICHE.

I FEEL SO SMALL...

... AND INSIGNIFICANT...

... WHEN I LOOK AT THE STARS.

CLICHE, CLICHE...

... YOU ARE.

DON'T BE INSULTING.

I'M SERIOUS.

SO AM I.

WE ARE INSIGNIFICANT,

BUT WHO CARES?

WHEN YOU'RE INSIGNIFICANT.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY HEAVY

RESPONSIBILITIES TO WORRY ABOUT.

WHAT?

LISTEN TO YOU, GUYS.

COME ON, I'M THE ONE

WITH A DEGREE IN PHILOSOPHY,

AND YOU DON'T HEAR ME

GETTING ALL METAPHYSICAL...

... AND RUINING A PERFECTLY

DELIGHTFUL EVENING.

BE NICE.

OKAY. WHY DO YOU THINK

WE'RE HERE?

I DON'T KNOW,

AND REALLY, I DON'T CARE.

PHILOSOPHY IS CRAP.

IT'S NOT CRAP.

NOT CRAP.

YES, IT IS.

DON'T YOU GO TO SCHOOL

OR SOMETHING?

WHY SHOULD I?

I MEAN, YOUR DEGREES

AREN'T DOING YOU MUCH GOOD.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU'RE A LIAR.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

OH, SH*T, I GOT TO GO.

AW, DOES LITTLE DAVIE

HAVE A CURFEW?

I GOT TO GO CHECK

ON MY GRANDMA.

YOU HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL.

HORNY WOMEN ALONE

IN THE WOODS.

AND YOU REALLY WAN TO GO CHECK ON 'GRANDMA'?

WE'RE LONELY.

LOOK, IF I DON'T GIVE MY GRANDMA

HER MEDICINE, SHE WON'T TAKE IT.

SUIT YOURSELF.

I UNDERSTAND.

WE MIGHT BE TOO MUCH FOR YOU.

WE DON'T HAVE TO

TORTURE HIM THIS MUCH.

BUT IT'S SO FUN.

HE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF

HIS GRANDMOTHER.

OH, WAIT, I'M HORNY.

DAVID, WAIT A MINUTE.

DAVID, DAVID, WAIT A SECOND.

LOOK, I REALLY NEED

TO CHECK ON MY GRANDMA.

IT'S COOL.

AMY'S A TERRIBLE TEASE.

REALLY?

OKAY. ACTUALLY,

SHE'S NOT A TEASE.

SHE'D PROBABLY

FOLLOW THROUGH.

YEAH, THAT MAKES ME FEEL

SO MUCH BETTER.

DON'T WORRY,

WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

JUST COME BACK:

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

WHAT'S WRONG

WITH TOMORROW?

WE HAVE TO GO:

INTO TOWN FOR SUPPLIES.

COME HERE.

NOW TAKE CARE OF GRANDMA.

RIGHT.

GRANDMA.

MEDICINE.

SHE PROBABLY WON'T DIE

IF SHE JUST MISSES ONE.

OH, NO.

HEY, ART, WHERE THE HELL

ARE YOU?

OH, HEY, DAVID.

HEY, ART.

WHAT'S UP?

OH, JUST DROPPED BY

TO CHECK IN.

WHY?

YOU KNOW, JUST MAKING

MY ROUNDS.

SEE YOU LATER, LOUISE.

YEAH, BYE, ARTHUR.

OH, HERE, YOUR BADGE.

HEY, ART,

THINK YOU BETTER GE OVER HERE.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING

YOUR ROBE?

I TOOK MY MEDICINE.

THAT'S GREAT, GRANDMA.

WHAT WAS ART DOING HERE

SO LATE?

HE'S JUST CHECKING ON ME.

I'M GONNA SLEEP

HERE TONIGHT.

WHY?

I'M LOOKING FOR ORBS.

ARE YOU SURE YOU NOT TAKING

TOO MUCH OF YOUR MEDICINE?

YES.

SMELLS LIKE YOU ARE.

DID YOU GET ANY FISH?

YES.

JUST DOUBLE CHECKING.

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

FEEDING HAIRY MAN.

LET'S GO TO BED, GRANDMA.

I'M SLEEPING HERE TONIGH IN CASE ORBS COME.

GRANDMA, IT'S GONNA

BE COLD TONIGHT,

AND I WON'T BE

ABLE TO SLEEP...

... IF I THINK YOU'RE OUT HERE

FREEZING TO DEATH.

I WON'T FREEZE

IF YOU GIVE ME.

MY BLANKET BACK.

COME ON.

SH*T.

YOU TREAT ME:

LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.

I'M SORRY, GRANDMA.

YOU REALLY LIKE MESSING

WITH PEOPLE, DON'T YOU?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

DAVID.

HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA

EXPLODE WHEN HE LEFT HERE.

IT'S GOOD TO KEEP

GUYS GUESSING.

GUESSING?

HE'S PROBABLY LYING IN BED...

... IMAGINING THE TWO OF US...

... IN THE THROES OF

CRAZY LESBIAN SEX.

I'D HATE TO LE THE LITTLE GUY DOWN.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NICE TRY.

HEAD GAMES WITH GUYS, FINE,

BUT NOT WITH ME.

I GOT TO PEE.

YOU WANT TO EXPLORE

YOUR ROOTS WITH DAVID.

MAYBE.

SHE BETTER NOT BE THINKING

ABOUT EXPERIMENTING.

IT'S REALLY BAD ENOUGH I

HAVE TO DEAL WITH BUGS...

... AND SNAKES,

AND OTHER CREEPY-CRAWLY SH*T.

I'M TIRED, AMES,

STOP MESSING AROUND.

I'M SERIOUS.

AMY, IT'S NOT POLITE...

...TO SHINE A LIGHT ON SOMEONE

WHEN THEY'RE PEEING.

THANK YOU.

WHEN DID YOU GE THE GREEN FLASHLIGHT?

WHAT?

YOU KNOW.

THE GREEN LIGHT YOU WERE SHINING

ON ME WHEN I WAS PEEING.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU WEREN'T SHINING

A GREEN LIGHT ON ME?

I TOLD YOU:

THAT WAS STRONG STUFF.

STOP MESSING WITH ME.

I DIDN'T SMOKE THAT MUCH.

I THINK YOU DID.

SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE NO MESSING WITH ME?

NO.

THAT IS SOME:

GOOD LANDSCAPING.

MM-HMM.

WATCH THOSE RACCOONS, GRANDMA.

I MIGHT BE LATE.

OKAY.

YOU'LL TAKE

YOUR MEDICINE, RIGHT?

OKAY.

WHAT?

OH, AREN'T YOU GOING TO WISH...

... YOU CAME FISHING

WITH ME YESTERDAY.

BETTER THAN SLAVE

LABORING WITH MY DAD?

OW.

GET OUT.

WHY?

GET THE F*** OUT.

YOU'RE SMOKING HERB

WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO...

... HOT, NAKED HIPPIE CHICKS

ALL DAY AND YOU ASK ME WHY?

YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED ME,

YOU A**HOLE.

UGH.

OW, FRICK YOU, MAN.

YEAH, IT BURNS.

I DIDN'T HAVE A PHONE.

WELL, THEN

YOU SHOULD'VE FOUND ONE.

SERIOUSLY, DUDE,

WHAT THE F***?

YOU LUCKY BASTARD.

THAT'S LIKE--THAT'S LIKE

'PENTHOUSE' FORUM SH*T.

IT REALLY WASN' THAT EXCITING.

WHAT, YOU DIDN'T SEAL THE DEAL?

NO.

I HAD TO MAKE SURE

MY GRANDMA TOOK.

HER MEDICINE.

OH, MAN. YOUR PRIORITIES

ARE SO MESSED UP.

OKAY, WHATEVER.

NO.

OKAY, WHERE ARE WE GOING?

YOU MEAN BEFORE:

WE GO BACK AND VISIT...

... YOUR SOON TO BE

EX-GIRLFRIENDS?

THEY'RE IN TOWN TODAY.

SH*T.

OKAY. WE'LL GO TO SOUTH FORK.

SOUTH FORK?

THE FISHING SUCKS,

AND IT'S FULL OF TOURISTS.

EXACTLY.

TIME TO GENERATE

SOME MEDIA CRED.

OH, YOU'RE GOOD, YOU.

MAN, YOU ARE A MESS.

RC.

- YEAH, BOB.

HEY, RC, I'M KIND OF

HUNG-UP HERE.

COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND?

YOU KNOW, BOB, PAR OF BEING A FLY-FISHERMAN.

IS LEARNING HOW TO GE YOURSELF UNTANGLED THERE.

I'D CUT YOU LOOSE, BUT I'D BE

DOING YOU A DISSERVICE.

HEY, RC.

ANY LUCK TODAY?

MAN, THESE ARE GONNA BE

SO GREAT ON MUGBOOK.

NEVER MIND.

YEAH. HEY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE

YOU'RE NOT JOINED.

TO THE HIP WITH:

THAT CRIMINAL, DAVID.

COME ON, MAN.

THAT WAS:

A BULLSHIT CHARGE,

AND YOU KNOW IT.

YEAH, BULLSHIT CHARGE.

HE STEALS ART'S PATROL CAR.

AND DRIVES THROUGH

THE POST OFFICE.

AND THAT'S

A BULLSHIT CHARGE.

NO ONE SAW HIM.

YEAH, OKAY.

HEY, DAVID, WHEN ARE YOU

COMING BY THE SHOP?

I'M OUT OF

STIMULATORS, PARACHUTES.

WOOLY BUGGERS.

AND I'M LOW ON.

EVERYTHING ELSE.

NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS?

OKAY.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

HAIRY MAN.

OH, SH*T. DAVID, REALLY?

YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM

AS BIGFOOT.

HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes