Flirting with Disaster Page #10

- You're holding onto it.

- I'm not holding onto anything.

- I'm letting it go.

- Uh, you're holding onto these things.

Uh, tell him. Go ahead, tell him.

I don't care. Go ahead.

So, Mel, you know we were

living in San Francisco,

and it was the mid '60s, right?

- Uh-huh, yeah.

- And we were part of a very

progressive group of artists...

- and there was one band

at the centre of it.

- A band? Wh-Wh-What band?

Jerry Garcia, blah, blah, blah.

I am so sick of this f***ing story!

It's so boring! You've been

telling it for years! Give it up!

- He doesn't like it

when I tell this story.

- What happened with Jerry Garcia?

- Nothing.

- Nothing happened with Jerry Garcia,

but Richard and I went to prison--

-Right-- Right after you were born.

-And that's why we had to give you away.

- You went to prison?

- Oh, don't be stigmatized by it.

- It wasn't a serious crime.

- Oh, God, it was nothing.

- Not even a crime.

- It was absolutely nothing.

- Next to nothing, really.

- Less than nothing. Have you

ever, you know, like, driven...

a few miles over the speed limit,

or something like that?

- Yeah, sure.

- It was less than that.

If you speed, y-you know,

you could hurt somebody.

- This is--

- So, were you-- you

were jailed for driving?

- No, no, no. No, there

was no driving. I tried--

- How did they get that?

I'm, I'm, I'm, uh--

I'm sorry, I'm totally lost here.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Here, I'll get out of your way. Aah!

- Ooh.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, I don't know. What did I do?

- Oh, no, no. It's okay. Relax. Relax.

- No, watch out. You--

- I-- You could hurt your fingers.

- Watch how you--

- Whoops.

- Sh--

- I'm so clumsy.

- No, you're not.

You know, I have these,

uh, these, these--

- three Italian prints

at home that I keep, uh--

- Mm-hmm.

I don't know what to do--

if I should frame them myself...

- or maybe I should

take them to somebody else.

- I, uh-- I would-- I would

take them to the framer.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, well--

- So maybe that's what I'll do.

I think that-- Yeah.

- Do you want to take a shower?

- No, go ahead.

- No, I mean together?

Your husband's been taking you for

granted a little bit, don't you think?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Here. Let me go get

my shower cap.

- You made LSD? Is that--

That's what you're saying?

- Yeah. Oh, yeah, but--

- We made LSD.

- Yes, yes. We made acid.

- And we gave it out

to people who needed it.

You know that there are

hundreds of pharmaceutical

executives in this country...

- Oh!

- that are selling drugs,

FDA approved drugs?

- Oh!

- On the open market.

- Oh, on the-- Over the counter

with incredible side--

- Horrible side effects.

- Terrible side effects.

- And these people are not in jail.

- They're not in prison anywhere.

They're, they're, they're in

country clubs or playing golf.

They're having drinks.

- They're running the country.

- They're not--

- They're running the country, Mel.

- Y-You know, LSD shouldn't be

a felony in the first place.

- It's not addictive.

- It doesn't lead to violent crime.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- It's really the only hope

for the species.

- Yeah.

D-Did you take acid while

you were pregnant with me?

You're not gonna bring

that thing up, are you?

You know the stuff

they tell you about, you know,

chromosome damage and all that stuff?

- Yeah, I do!

- That's government propaganda.

- Total propaganda.

- They just want to get a hold

of your head, that's all.

I was relieved, though,

when you came out in the hospital

and you only had one head.

- Very funny.

- She-- She kills me!

- Oh, he was such a cute baby.

- It would've been kinda nice...

- if he had, like, a third eye

right there, you know?

- Mm-hmm.

- I-- M-Mel--

- You know, you know, a third eye

is a symbol of enlightenment.

- You kn-- You know, he's not--

he's not, he's not getting it. He's--

- Mel.

- Identity is nothing

but a mental construct.

- Mental construct?

- You mustn't fixate on it.

- Have you ever read any Tibetan

Buddhism, like Chaos theory?

- Oh, Geez.

- Paul?

- Is he okay?

- Oh!

- Are you okay there, Paul?

- Is this a musical table?

- ''Is this a musical table''?

- Paul, can I get you something?

- I'm not feeling very well.

- What, what do you mean?

What is it? What, what is it?

- Let me help you. What is it?

- What are you going through?

- Do you want-- Do you want to lie down?

- I don't know.

- Can, can I get you something, Paul?

- How do you feel?

- Vivid.

- Paul? Here.

- What?

- I'm seeing colours

that I don't want to see.

-Did you hear that? He's seeing colours.

-Just go with it. That's all right.

He needs to lie down.

- Wait, let me move this.

You're gonna have to help me.

- Everything's moving.

- Paul, can you hear me?

- Goddam it! Lonnie!

- Lonnie!

- Don't fly off the handle.

- Come in here. Come here.

- What did you do to Paul's quail?

- Nothing. Why?

Come on. Don't give me that

fake innocence. What did you do?

I dosed Mel's dish. I meant it

for Mel, and then he ate it.

- Oh, my God. How much?

- Two and a half tabs.

Two and a half tabs?

Are you crazy? Are you nuts?

Doesn't your mother have

enough to worry about tonight?

- I just don't understand this.

- Why do you ha-- Now, why do you

have to talk to me like that?

- Am I-- Am I talking

to him in some special way?

- It's really embarrassing to me...

and I really don't

appreciate it in front of him.

- I mean, who is he?

- What-- What's wrong with him? What--

- You got the whole

science thing going...

and the next thing I, I know,

you like him better than me

because he's more like you than I am.

- We love you very much. Even if you

were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would love you.

- Yeah, sure!

- Oh, you know, Mom spare me the hyp--

- Wait, I'm not here to take your place.

- Please, Mel, please!

- Where do you get this insecurity from?

- I don't understand it.

This drives me nuts!

- Uh, honey?

- Richard, you're criticizing.

- All right, all right.

I want you to apologize to Mel

and to Paul right now. C'mon. C'mon.

- I'm sorry.

- You're sorry for what?

- I'm sorry...

that I put windowpane in Mel's quail,

and I'm sorry that you ate it.

All right. All right. Go sit down.

I can't believe he--

Let's not blow this out

of proportion, everyone. Paul's

gonna come down in about ten hours.

- Ten hours?

- I-- It's-- I-- It's--

I can't believe you-- you're

actually keeping acid in the house

after you went to prison for it.

- Wait till your son is 19. See if he

does everything you want him to do.

- Tina.

- This is classic!

Yeah, just keep, uh-- keep blaming

it all on me, all your crap.

- Ah, just go with it.

You just simmer down, you.

And you take a little responsibility

for what you've done.

- Thank you, Mrs Cleaver.

- Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me.

- All there is.

- This is a non-smoking house.

- You're gonna be all right.

- Are you kidding?

-Just go with it.

- We're gonna take quite a trip.

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