Flypaper Page #3

Synopsis: Tripp (Patrick Dempsey) walks into a bank to get some change and ends up as a hostage to two bank robber-teams, robbing the bank he is at. In an almost Sherlock Holmesian way he has to solve this Agatha Christie inspired mystery and win the girl's (Ashley Judd) heart. But not everything is at it seems, and there are many twists and turns in this comedy.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Rob Minkoff
Production: IFC Films
 
IMDB:
6.4
Metacritic:
37
Rotten Tomatoes:
17%
NOT RATED
Year:
2011
87 min
$1,098
Website
459 Views


-She told me Max irons his jeans.

-Madge!

She's worked here two months already

and I've never met him.

-You know what? Enough.

-You know what?

There are four photos

taped to your teller station.

Three are of Brazil. You like adventure.

But Max is not in any of them.

He went with a banana hammock, okay,

and got a bad sunburn.

He stayed in that day.

Fourth one is of you and Max

in front of his mansion.

You look tiny compared to the house,

which tells me you like the house

more than the man putting you in it.

-You know what? Who are you?

-The most interesting thing about you

is that you still work here,

even though you don't need the money.

You're an independent woman. I like that.

-Damn straight, I am.

-I'm sorry. When I'm off my meds,

-I'm not that good with...

-People?

Especially ones I want to sleep with.

And I say things like that.

Oh, God.

Hey. Hey, a**hole!

Stop it! Stop it!

-You're gonna get us all killed!

-Would you let go?

-Stop it!

-Rex, let go of my legs!

-Rex, let him go.

-He's gonna get us all killed!

-God.

-Just be quiet up there, son.

All right.

Hey!

They call me Mr Clean.

So where you from?

-No English.

-Yeah?

I've never been to No English.

I hear it's right next to No Problem.

(LAUGHING)

There's a draught.

I'm good.

Make it rain, baby.

Rooty-tooty.

(BEEPING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Mother-roo.

(GROANING)

Oh, f***ing bollocks!

-We have got to kill them now, all right?

-Just relax.

Does the computer still work?

Yeah, it still works.

All right, now how much time

has that set us back?

About an hour or so. I say we forget the vault.

Let's just kill those muppets

and do the ATMs.

-That's blue collar.

-That's blue collar, dude.

Fine, all right, but we still

gotta kill them, all right,

because they're slowing us down.

Put a bullet in their f***ing brain. Please.

Did we blow the ATM?

Jesus! Good to see your ugly face!

Dude, you just ate three bricks

of plastic explosives.

But did we blow the ATM?

Let me look.

Uh...

You want the good news or the bad news?

Good news.

The good news is we blew the door off.

The bad news is, these ATMs got

two doors.

GATES:
On your f***ing Knees! Go, go, go!

Hey, I ain't even pulled the trigger, man.

The thing just went off.

Hey, I don't care. Now on your f***ing knees!

Okay, um...

-Face front?

-Face front!

-Put your hands behind your head.

-Hands on your f***ing heads.

They're about to die, dude.

They probably don't need the echo.

You got any ideas, bro?

-See you on the other side, dog.

-That's it?

You're supposed to go

for the brainstem, right?

It's like less diffraction or something?

-Hey, dude?

-Yeah?

Been cool.

Yeah, totally cool.

Wouldn't have done it with nobody else.

Look, maybe this isn't our strongest play,

practically speaking.

F***, Weinstein, you said we could kill them.

Now just show me the spot.

Look, next time you guys are

gonna blow something up, you let us know.

Hey, you got it, bro.

And I just wanna thank you both

personally for not killing us.

Hang on. We're not doing them now?

You old fucks have completely

lost your heads!

(GUNSHOT)

(WOMEN SCREAMING)

What the f*** are you people

doing out of the kitchen?

Yeah, and they can f***ing ID us now, man.

We have to kill them all.

(EXCLAIMING)

You missed, be-atch!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

No, he got you, bro.

What? I can't hear you, boy!

-Your ear!

-My what?

-Other ear.

-That's the one.

What?

Get ready to die, jism sucker.

All right, go ahead, shoot him.

Go ahead, do it.

-I will!

-Do it.

Then I'll shoot you and this retarded

cycle of violence can continue forever.

Go on, schmuck, do it.

What the f*** are you doing, man?

Are you trying to get me shot?

No, no, Peanut Butter, don't shoot him.

We're better than that, man.

Okay. Just gonna do a crawdaddy here

and back off.

Just backing on out.

Gates, move the hostages into

that office up there.

Just do it.

You okay, sweet cookie?

My sweet butter cookie?

-(YELLS)

-Jeez!

You killed Jack Hayes?

Why in the f*** is there

a hostage talking to me?

Somebody murdered him,

and they're gonna kill again soon.

Look, you're talking about the guy

in the windbreaker, it wasn't me.

I didn't have an angle on him.

How the f*** did you get out here?

-Who had the angle?

-Get the f*** out of here.

What are you doing here?

-Can you watch the hostages, please?

-Let's go!

All right! Just calm down.

You're really high-strung.

What you need is a sedative.

What is wrong with you? I have a gun

trained on the back of your head.

Yes.

What were you guys talking about in there?

He wanted to know if I thought

you killed the guy in the windbreaker jacket.

-Really?

-Yes.

-Did you?

-No.

-We're pros.

-Right.

If one of our guys killed that guy,

you hostages would all be as dead as him.

Right. He was also trying to figure out

why exactly two bank robberies

went down at the same time.

-What, are you joking?

-No.

At 7:
00 p.m. the computer guy rebooted

the entire security system to new protocols.

-Right.

-The entire security system

was down for two minutes.

I'm shocked there wasn't

a dozen bank robbers in here tonight.

-Darrien should know that.

-Uh-huh.

He does know that, doesn't he?

And you're just trying to get

information out of me.

Yeah.

So did you kill Jack Hayes?

You know, in all my years of taking hostages,

you are by far the most annoying.

Right. Okay. I'm sorry.

(DOOR OPENS)

Get in there, Rain Man.

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Hey, computer guy.

How come you only pressed 10 buttons

when you called your wife before?

What are you talking about?

When everyone else used the phone

they pressed 10 buttons

and then they pressed Send. So that's

I count everything, okay?

So how come you pretended to call your wife?

Because you sold the information

when the alarms would be down

to one of the criminals,

and then you got greedy

and you sold it again.

Double the cash, double the robbery.

That's why you didn't call your wife.

-Mitchell?

-Want that I should rough him up?

TRIPP:
Yeah, it might be good practice

for when the cops show up.

Can we waterboard him?

I saw how to do it on the Discovery Channel.

I just need a mop and some tweezers.

No, no, no, hey, hey, hold it.

I did. I sold the downtime information.

-What?

-But I swear to God, I only did it once.

Okay? And I don't even know who to.

Yeah, I faxed the information.

They paid me in cash.

You've gotta believe me.

Why should we trust you?

No reason.

But I swear to God,

I never meant anybody to get hurt.

And I didn't kill Jack Hayes.

Nobody said you did.

Oh, Jesus Christ, we should be in by now.

Listen, old man, if you wanna

get out your stethoscope and bobby pins

and break into this vault 1970s style,

by all means, have at it.

Otherwise, shut your f***ing face, all right?

Jesus f***ing Christ.

Come on, baby.

Yes! I'm a f***ing genius.

-Oh, good job, my man.

Rate this script:1.0 / 1 vote

Jon Lucas

Jonathan Lucas (born October 29, 1975) is an American film director and screenwriter. He is best known for his collaborative work with Scott Moore, which includes The Hangover, 21 & Over and Bad Moms. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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