Fonzy Page #2

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If your name is leaked,

your daily life may become

rather turbulent.

That accent is pretty 900d-

Well?

Sit down.

All right...

You signed a confidentiality clause?

With the clinic. At the beginning.

I know I did.

Before or after you beat the meat?

Should an attorney ask that?

I'm hurt you never told me.

For God's sake...

You call pals when you bang a hot chick,

not when you masturbate.

If you want, from now on,

I can call you each time

with all the details.

- No.

- You sound interested.

Don't bother. Now listen...

The group's attorney claims

that aside from confidentiality,

basic rights have been violated.

Right-to-origins law is complex.

Very complex.

Every attorney dreams

of pleading a case like this.

A historic case

that'll set a legal precedent.

My mum said I'd never get anywhere.

All right...

I'll show the old b*tch.

And my ex for splitting with the DA!

What do I do?

As your attorney. I say

stop masturbating in fertility centres.

I'll get a real attorney.

You can't afford a real one.

I need to get the Bar to reinstate me.

Call the Bar...

You aren't a member of the Bar?

A mere formality.

Chasseigne sent me the whole file,

the subpoena issued to the clinic

by your children and...

This.

What is it?

To try to persuade you,

the 142 kids

want you to know who they are.

There's a profile of each of your kids.

They're not my kids.

You don't have to open it.

I'm gonna eat you all!

I opened the envelope.

I shouldn't have but I did.

And at random...

Just guess...

Guess which file I pick at random.

How should I know?

Marvin!

This is wild!

Go!

Sh*t!

My genes were on that pitch.

He's my son!

It's like an extension of me

scored the game-winner.

Are your kids soccer pros?

Net as far as I knew

but they don't tell me everything.

Know what?

If you're subpoenaed,

we can plead mental alienation.

What?

We're going up

against a well-organised group.

Plead mental alienation.

Since the 1883 law

on diminished responsibility, if we show

during the trial,

that you were mentally unstable

at the time of the deed,

not one contract is valid.

But I don't have any mental problems.

If we see a shrink,

say it exactly that same way.

Pass, Diego!

What's his position?

No idea.

He's going to score.

- Sh*t!

- He's incoherent but he scores.

Can't you try passing to us?

Give me a break! I netted it!

Sure, but you're playing solo!

That blew you away!

After New York, Paris!

35 meters shorter

but with the same name

'Liberty Enlightening the World'.

The Statue of Liberty

is in fact its nickname.

Tall, free and revolutionary,

yet one huge mystery remains.

Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman?

No idea?

Because its designer, Bartholdi,

needed an empty head for the restaurant.

Don't go, ladies.

Chill, pal,

time for the Eiffel Tower.

How ya doin'?

sorry-

For Sybille Faber?

Yep.

I'm her dad, I want to play a trick.

Can I take it up?

What if you're a nutter

who hacks her up

and scatters the parts?

The cops will come hasslin' me!

I don't have an axe.

So take her p up

if that's what you're into.

Stop 'rt, Ben, don't: be a bastard.

Your money. I'm four euros short.

That's OK.

I didn't do a thing, I swear.

You can't dump me like this.

At least come and say it to my face.

It's not my fault!

Miss, it doesn't matter

about the four euros because...

You've won your p.

You've won

our Super Mozza sweepstakes.

A free pizza.

for anyone who orders mozzarella

on their pizza.

At Al Capone P,

we care about our customers.

F*** you, Ben!

We believe in a more humane p...

Miss?

Sh*t!

- Let me go.

- You can't leave!

Get off my back!

You can't just walk out of here!

I'm going home!

This place sucks!

Sybille!

Calm down.

Who are you, sir?

If...

I'm the delivery guy,

I deliver...

He's my father.

Thank God you're here,

you need to sign my discharge.

May I have a word?

Your daughter was lucky this time.

There's a risk

in mixing drugs, pills and alcohol.

Her life isn't in danger

but next time could be worse.

The hospital has set up

72-hour counselling in cases like this.

Your daughter refuses to slay.

As she's still a minor,

it's your decision.

Let go of me!

All right.

- I'll talk to her.

- Thank you.

Hiya, Dad.

- Are you OK?

- Yes.

I don't know who you are

but please sign the papers.

They recommend three days

of counselling. It's not a bad idea.

I don't use.

I took my guy's drugs to piss him off.

OK, but this is serious,

mixing drugs, alcohol...

Counselling could be a good idea.

I'm not a user, I swear.

I just screwed up, OK.

If they keep me here,

I'll lose my internship.

I start tomorrow.

It's all I have in my life.

I beg you.

- Where's the internship?

- With Havas. A friend got me in.

It's the chance of a lifetime.

Please...

- You start at?

- Nine o'clock.

You know, in my life,

I tend to make

very, very bad decisions.

You're not making a bad decision

with me.

Thank you...

Dad!

The basics are simple.

We'll be carried

by a wind blowing at zoom/n.

Always keep your chin up.

Your arms rest on the wind.

Watch my signals for your legs

and stay relaxed.

Rest your elbow here.

Relax.

It's an iPhone torch!

It's OK, I'm leaving.

It's recorded now.

You get off fining nice guys, b*tch?

Charming.

I'm just doing my job.

A b*tch's job!

You don't talk to a woman like that.

Apologize!

I'm used to it.

Don't accept it, honey.

Let's hear an apology!

- Sony.

- Louder!

I'm sorry!

You don't call a woman a b*tch

or ogle her behind!

I didn't ogle her.

Move along!

Don't just accept it.

Be strong.

Where the hell are you?

I'm at the cafe.

You're replacing me today.

I did tell you!

It's on the schedule.

You can't be serious.

Excuse me,

can I get an espresso?

Work something out and get here fast.

You're in Bordeaux'?

F***!

I think it's ready.

Could I have a spoon?

How much is it?

Two euros.

- You could be more pleasant.

- What?

A 'please' or a 'thank you'...

A little smile even.

As a barman...

Actually, that's the problem.

I don't want to be a barman.

I want to be an actor

and I'm missing a key audition.

Sony, I don't want to smile

for a coffee

nor for some washed-up ship's captain.

Sorry-

Where's the audition?

Across the city.

Can you drive a van?

I have my license.

Why?

I'll stand in here.

I can't let you take over.

It's my responsibility.

Don't worry, the captain's watching.

Why? I don't know you.

To help someone get ahead.

- Go on.

- OK. Thank you.

- Watch the van.

- It gels busy here.

Don't worry.

I'm not stupid. -

Vile know you set low standards

for yourself

but you don't even meet them.

Your limits of incompetence are infinite.

- 500 grams?

- Yes.

Thank you.

Your job entails just two things.

Loading the fish and delivering it.

The phone keeps ringing here

because you forgot

one of those two things.

The delivering!

I'm delivering.

I can't deliver more than I already do.

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