For a Good Time, Call... Page #4

the low-hangers.

April, get the

water bottles.

It's John, the one who

likes to hear you pee.

Mmm. You sound like a redhead. Do

you have freckles on your dick?

See, what I do is just wait

till it comes out on DVD

and then I just

watch it all in a row.

Oh! F***,

that's my cervix!

Whoa, whoa! This is

still Billing!

Hi, it's Katie. Leave a message. Bye!

Hey, good job not calling me back.

Well done.

Is this number a beeper? Because

a human never answers. Jesus.

Oh, I love that smell.

Mmm.

Can I lick it?

You're a dirty girl, Misty. Oh,

my God, you're gonna make me go.

Ooh, it's so good.

It's so good!

I want to get on

my hands and knees

and reverse

into that big cock.

Yeah, back it up.

Back it up.

Beep.

Beep, beep-

- Beep.

- Beep.

Toot, toot! Oh! Beep, beep!

Toot, toot!

Beep, beep, beep, beep!

Loadin' dock! Loadin' dock!

Dick dock! Dick dock!

Yeah, fill me,

fill me up!

You all done'? Okay, honey.

Call us back soon. Bye.

I thought he was

never gonna cum.

Welcome to Jersey,

ma'am.

You're right. It really

does open up the space.

Actually, I have

some things to tell you.

I've instated

a 10-minute minimum

so we don't have to waste time with

those two-pump Johnnys anymore.

I like it.

Okay.

Second, and this is

the big one.

Okay.

We've made $12,000

in three weeks!

No.

Yes.

Oh, my God!

I know!

And because of that, I felt like

just to be safe business-wise,

I incorporated us

so we're now an LLC.

No sh*t!

Yes.

Well, f*** Grandma!

Can I get us that new couch?

Sure. Okay.

I really, really need you to drink

this green tea I made for you

because you're

getting all hoarse again.

I know. I got to

keep the throat lubed.

I have also been thinking

and I was wondering

if maybe we could

hire some dumb-ass

to work for us

for $1 a minute?

Urn...

Yeah. Yeah,

we could do that.

Perfect because

I already found her!

You did?

Yes. She writes...

"Dear slut talkers,

look no further.

"I scared my last boyfriend away

by how dirty I talked in bed.

"Here's a taste."

"F*** my tits

until they're so raw,

"you have to move

down to my itty bitty..."

...itty bitty,

edible gummy-wear thong.

I am loud,

I am creative

and I love

giving phone blowies.

So this is a nice couch.

And also, I've been

practicing my baby voice.

"That won't fit, mister!"

Not really for us. We really try

to stay away from the pedo thing.

You do really sound like a baby,

though, so congrats on that.

May I?

Oh, the stripper pole?

Sure, go for a spin.

Has it been

used today?

Not today.

Okay, great.

I love her!

Love her!

Look at you,

you're a natural.

So... You are

very flexible.

She's better than me.

Well, let's not...

Okay, we charge

a 10-minute minimum,

so the point is just keep the guys

on the call as long as possible.

Just make sure that they bring

up the sex stuff, okay?

You just small talk

from the get go

and see what

happens after that.

I'm from Maui

and I love to take

my cat to the dog park

on Sunday mornings

in my bikini.

I mean, it's perfect.

Amazing.

You got to be on your A-game,

though, for every call.

All right,

don't listen to this,

but I don't care if they wanna

take a pretend dump on your b*obs.

You just roll with it

and act like it's sexy.

Can we see it?

Steamy!

I like it right there!

Ooh!

Get over here!

Welcome to our family!

I just came in my panties

and I'm a squirter, honey!

You wanna smell them?

'Cause they smell so good!

Yeah, you can have them for $29.95,

plus shipping and handling.

Good boy. I'm gonna make 'em

nice and wet just for you!

- Surprise!

- Hi! Hi!

Hello! Oh, my God!

Hi!

Daddy had an appointment

in the city this afternoon

and I wanted to check out

the sale at Barneys

and we figured as long as we

were in the neighborhood...

Your mother's lying.

So sorry we didn't call.

Okay. Just give me

one second, okay?

Sure.

F***.

I'm so glad Charlie let you

keep the dishes. That's only fair.

This is like the longest

hallway in Manhattan.

Brought your favorite, boo-boo kitty.

Magnolia!

Thanks, Mom!

Hello. Hello. Oh,

and this is a potted plant.

Great. Thank you.

Hit it!

I'm so close!

That's...

That's my roommate. She's

exercising in her room.

What is that?

Is that a stripper pole?

Oh!

Yeah, it is.

Oh, my God, is your

roommate a stripper?

No! Oh, my God. No, she's not a stripper!

She exercises on there.

You know,

it's good for your abs.

That's not structural.

Have one of these guys.

You had me worried for a second.

Actually, honey, Daddy and I

were in your account this week

to make

a little gift deposit.

You guys still

watch my account?

We couldn't help

but notice that

you have 10 grand

in that account.

Did Morty finally

give you that promotion?

Did he?

Yeah. Yeah, he did.

I know, I am so sorry. I don't know

why I forgot to tell you guys.

Sweetie,

it's just not like you

to keep these things

to yourself.

Scott! Adele!

Katie. Oh, God,

what a pleasure.

It's so nice to meet you.

You.

Well, okay.

Oh, my goodness.

Lauren didn't tell me

how good-looking you were.

Why don't you sit down? Let's

get to know each other, then.

I would love that.

I would love to do that

because I love parents,

but our very good friend

Krissy is coming over

and she just

went through one of

the worst break-ups

I've ever been privy to.

Don't even get me started.

Oh, my God.

I told you this was gonna be a bad time.

You guys... We'll stop into

the city again really soon.

She's just heart-broken. If we

can just do this another time?

I understand. Okay.

They need some time.

Your promotion's a big deal.

We've got to celebrate.

I know.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, dear.

Look who I found,

just surviving.

You're doing good.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Krissy.

Krissy, I'm Adele. Sweetie, I

know we just met, but listen,

life is full of

ups and downs

and good times will come again.

It is.

Adele and I were separated,

it worked out fine.

Come on, honey,

let's go.

Feel better, honey.

I'm gonna walk them out.

Okay.

Nice to

meet you, Katie.

There, there, sweet thing.

I've got you.

Okay.

I've got you. I do.

It's over, you guys.

Oh.

Oh.

Let's get this

f*** show started!

Please hold for Misty.

Krissy!

It's John from San Jose!

Oh, God, it feels good

to have a night off.

I feel like I was always

meant to be an employer

and not an employee.

Do you remember the last

time we left this apartment?

No, I really don't.

Can I braid your hair?

Okay.

I want you to

go get a bowl of milk.

A very, very full

bowl of milk.

And then I want to

squat over top of it.

You're gonna dangle

your boys in there.

What's that, did I hear a

dog in the background?

Okay. I want you to go get some kibble.

Yes, go get some kibble.

I want you to take two pieces,

put them in your mouth.

Take three pieces and

put them in your bum.

Okay, do you have any

potted plants around you?

Okay, I want you to

go grab that potted plant.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes