For the Boys Page #5

- Hi, Mom. You were great.

- The show was wonderful. I loved it.

Hi, Uncle Eddie.

- You guys really going to Korea?

- Yeah.

But you're all going to join us in Japan for

Christmas. Won't that be wonderful, Eddie?

- Oh, Eddie. What a lovely idea.

- Keep the families together.

That's so important

in these uncertain times, don't you think?

So tell me about this Korea place.

What's it like?

You're gonna love it.

It's a tropical paradise.

Just like the Polo Lounge.

Give you something to write about.

I've never endured

such discomfort before in my life.

- War is hell. You can quote me on that.

- Go away, go away.

Get outta the way!

Get outta here! Get outta here! Come on!

Goddammit. Lousy gooks.

What do you expect?

These people have no character.

They got no shoes, lady.

That's irrelevant.

It's a matter of national character.

Excellent point, Luanna.

Include it in your next column.

- They're freezing. Can't we do anything?

- We are.

We're saving them from Communism.

See their happy faces?

Cos they don't have to sleep

under some oppressive Communist blanket.

What would you suggest, Mr Silver? We stand

aside and let the Communists take over?

No. I think we should teach

the Communists our military strategy,

then they'll be sure to lose.

- Is that a joke?

- Lady, this whole war's a joke.

- And you can quote me on that.

- Come here.

- Are you nuts? Are you nuts?

- Eddie, she's a gossip columnist.

In 200 newspaper outlets, a friend of J Edgar

Hoover's, every network head in her pocket,

and you wanna trade quips with her?

She'll bury you!

And I don't want you taking me with you.

Forget it.

She is doing a major story on me. Major.

I don't care what you think about

on your own time,

but when you're on salary,

you button it up, all right?

- F***ing war. Gets everybody crazy.

- Let's load up the trucks right now!

- We're getting outta here.

- What's up?

Chinks just jumped in with both feet.

They overran the base an hour ago.

- Our base?

- Not any more.

- What the hell's this?

- Do you believe this?

- Damn.

- Stop!

- We got trouble, Eddie.

- What's going on?

- Stop!

- Hold it. What's that?

- Stop the truck!

- It's a trap.

- It's a marine.

- We got wounded.

- We got VIPs here, man.

- I got f***ing wounded!

- What's the problem?

- There's been an ambush.

There's men all over the place.

I gotta get these trucks down there.

- Move!

- Let's go. Hold on.

You're gonna be fine.

You're on your way home now.

You OK, kid? You're going home.

I need another pair of hands here!

I need some help, goddammit!

Hang in there, fella. Hold this.

Over here.

Here. Hold it steady.

Put pressure here. Let it loose every 15

minutes for 30 seconds or he'll lose a leg.

I need stretcher bearers!

Hold this tight. Who the hell are you?

- Dixie Leonard.

- The singer?

Crazy goddamn war.

Hang in there, fella. Hang in there.

30 seconds every 15 minutes,

Dixie Leonard.

Let's go! Let's move it out!

- It's bad, isn't it?

- They're gonna fix you right up.

- Swear to God.

- Sure.

Me and Humpty Dumpty.

Holy sh*t.

Eddie Sparks.

- It's OK. You don't gotta get up.

- Yeah. Right.

Where you from?

Wilkes-Barre.

I played Wilkes-Barre.

You're gonna be fine.

You're on your way home now.

Careful, careful.

I gotta go with him.

His leg.

- Hold it. Down.

- The tourniquet. He told me...

- I know, ma'am. I got it.

- Careful!

The medic said his leg would be OK.

Pupils fixed and dilated. He's dead.

- Belly wound. He never had a chance.

- He can't be.

- Miss, please.

- No, but he said...

No, but... But he can't be!

He can't be dead!

Excuse me, Miss Leonard.

Follow me, please.

Please, Miss Leonard.

Let's go, Mr Sparks.

This is yours, Mr Sparks. Miss Leonard,

you're the last one on the left, OK?

Thank you.

Just kids.

That's some f***ing thing.

Just a kid. About 19 or 20.

Sh.

- Stay with me, Dix.

- Oh, Eddie.

No, not like that. I...

I just...

I don't know.

I don't wanna be alone, OK?

- Hi.

- Hi.

You're up early.

Always.

So what do you think?

You know what I think?

What I think is this Luanna is gonna get up

any minute, sticking her nose around.

She'd like this one, too, Luanna.

You and me.

She'd print it too.

Jesus.

Margaret'd kill me.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

A bunch of guys got killed and we got laid.

Am I missing something?

- Sorry you feel like that.

- You'll get over it.

Dixie, last night

was really very, very special.

Yeah. And we'll always have Paris.

I swear, I don't know

how to talk to you sometimes.

Eddie, it's really OK.

But you oughta quit while you're behind.

Tamaki Kawakubo!

Domo arigato,

I'd like to make a toast.

Eddie, Dixie, on behalf of our fighting

men and women everywhere,

you're doing a magnificent job.

To you, to your troupe,

we love you and God bless you.

- Hip, hip!

- Hooray!

- Hip, hip!

- Hooray!

- Hip, hip!

- Hooray!

- Nice party.

- Yeah, I've had worse.

Eddie, the sponsors are getting

a lot of heat about this writer of yours.

- Art Silver.

- Art Silver? What kind of heat?

Well, they... they say he's a Red.

He signed some things.

I don't know what.

He's not gonna overthrow anything.

He's a comedy writer.

I know that, but these guys have got a bug

up their ass about this whole commie thing.

Yeah, well, I'll talk to him.

Yeah, well, it's past that.

They want him off the show.

- That's ridiculous.

- Eddie, they're ready to walk.

I mean it. They're not signing

unless he's off the payroll.

- They want you to handle it now.

- What do you mean, now?

- Tonight.

- It's Christmas.

Eddie, we are talking

about a five-year renewal.

Now, please, think about it.

I'll tell you what, f*** doing the work.

Go to another network.

They're all the same. They're all

cleaning house. Actors, directors, writers.

It's a bloodbath.

Eddie, my friend,

that's just the way things are now.

Me and Art...

18 years we've been together.

You gotta stop thinking about just yourself.

You got a lot of responsibility.

You got a lot of people on the payroll.

You can't afford to be controversial.

Is this a private party

or can anybody get in?

And have you been a good little boy?

Listen, you got a minute?

All right, smile!

Good, that's terrific.

- Nice to have you aboard.

- Thank you. Nice being here.

It's done.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, my heavens.

Is that Miss Luanna Trott?

What do we have for little Luanna today?

Something to get around on.

Ho-ho-ho!

- I'll save it for Halloween.

- Good sport, Luanna.

Ho-ho-ho!

And who have we here?

What's your name, son?

- Come on, Uncle Art. It's me, Danny.

- Danny, you rotten little kid.

What you got on your hat there, Danny?

I see some writing on your hat.

USS Missouri.

And here it is. A perfect replica

of the USS Missouri for you.

Oh, and Mr Admiral.

We haven't forgotten you.

Mr Admiral has big responsibilities

during the Christmas period.

What could we give to Mr Admiral?

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