Forget Paris Page #6

You know, high school.

High school? Those kids are armed.

Honey, i'm a pro.

I'm one of the best in the league and

i've been doing it for ten years.

I mean,

it's what i do.

All right.

I'm sorry.

I mean, i know that

your job means a lot to you.

I just can't

do this anymore.

So he calls me.

I once offered him a job

selling cars for his off-Season.

I figured he'd be good at it.

He had the personality.

So he quit?

He asked the league for

a year off, a leave of absence.

So he and ellen

are together again.

She talks him into buying some

little house in the valley.

It was charming.If charming means overpriced.

Anyway, she's workin' out.

She looks fabulous.

Yeah, everything's great...

for her.

Plus, the knuckleheads at

the airlines finally realized...

That ellen's, like,

90 times too qualified for the job she's got.

They move her into a big office where

she's the head of a whole department.

She's the happiest

she's ever been in her life.

Oh, good.

And how's mickey?

Mickey is not wonderful.

Um, what kind of

mileage does it get?

Fabulous.

Fabulous mileage.

It gets 100 in the city

and 3,000 on the highway.What?

Car and driver called the, um...

what are we in?Subaru.

Right. Said it was "great."

Unquote.

So you actually knew

michael jordan?

Knew him? I'm the one

who shaved his head.

So, she's happy, he's miserable.

And the way his mind works is...

What the hell

is makin' her so happy?

That was ellen.

- Who?

- Follow that car!

The porsche!

Catch up to it!Okay, okay.

Come on,

gun this rickshaw!

Move it!

That's my wife!

Ha! Ellen!

Ah...

It's not her.

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!

- It's not her!

- Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!

Aaah!Aaah!

So, you like it?

It wasn't that mickey

couldn't sell cars.

Most days he wasn't that bad,

but his heart wasn't in it.

The worst

was during the play-Offs.

Poor mickey.

That was a rough time for him.

It was rough

because he made it rough.

Craig gave him

a good job.

My brother richard

was dying for that job.Again with richard?

I'm just saying,

unlike mickey,

Richard would have

appreciated that job.

Richard needs instructions

on how to put on a hat.

He fell down some steps

when he was a baby.

It's a whole other story.

Can we get back to the point?

You're giving her the wrong idea.

You're making ellen the villain.

There's two sides

to everything, right?You tell it.

Ellen would talk to me

sometimes during that period.

Veal parmigiana.What?

That's the only thing

he'll eat at a restaurant.

I know.

We've been out with him.

There's just so many things he'll only do.

He'll only go to the movies.

"What do you want to do tonight?"

"Let's go to a movie."

That's what he's used to.In paris he went to the

museum and to the ballet.

Forget paris.

He was courting.

They'll do anything when they're courting.

Craig knitted me a sweater.

I took him to the theater

to see phantom of the opera.

Oh, that's

so beautiful!Yeah!

So you know

what mickey said?

You liked it?I loved it.

It was romantic.

Guy's got broken dinnerware on his face...

under which is a pizza...

And she's in love with him?She was in love

with his soul.

That's ridiculous.

It's like beauty and the beast.

It's all stuff

they sell to women.

The sweetest guy in my high school

was a guy named teddy stein.

He had a little bit of a droopy

eye and a mole on his cheek.

Could not get a date. But, no,

this "phantom" with an exploded head,

Women are squirming in their seats.

It's not real.

- I loved it. The music...

- The music?

You know what the big song was?

It was "school days."

- What?

- Yeah! da-Da, da-Da

da, da-Da, da-Da, da

school days, school days

dear old golden rule days

they think we're dopes?

- You hated the whole evening?

- No, no. The veal parmigiana was good.

It was a hard time for him.

He was unhappy,

So everything irritated him

more than usual.

I guess. So, she was irritating

him and he was irritating her.

They were irritating

each other.Things were horrible.

But then they

got much worse.What do you mean?

The father.The father!

I forgot

about the father.The father's dead.

They buried him

in france.No, ellen's father.

Oh, ellen's father.

Why didn't you say?

More perrier, please.

This was a nightmare.

Why?Ellen's father retired.

He was a widower.

He also had a few

health problems.Health problem.

Of course the wrestling brothers

didn't want to take him.

So he moves in

with ellen and mickey.

Ellen's working days. Mickey, 'cause he's

selling cars, is working a lot of nights.

Mickey's home a lot

with ellen's dad, arthur.

Arthur is the kind of guy

who could drive you insane.How?

You asked for it,

You got it.

toyota

You asked for it,

You got it.

toyota

You asked for it,

You got it!

toyota

You got it!

toyota

You... asked for it,

You got it!

toyota

you asked for it

you got it

toyota

Ed's tropical aquarium.

Mattress city.

Donuts, donuts, donuts.

Mr. Sid's tuxedos.

Six guys from greece,

authentic greek food.

Why don't you tell him

to stop?

I don't think he knows

that he's doing it.

So this is

your life now?

How did you let this

happen to you?I don't know.

The longest i lived with anybody

before this was... eight hours.

And that made me

feel stifled.

I'm just not used to it,

that's all.

I'm not used to somebody else

having an opinion about my life.

An opinion that

i have to listen to.No, you don't.

I don't?No.

Jack, what are you saying?

A wife is just somebody to adore you...

And have sex with you and

otherwise not bother you?

Keep goin'.

- What?

- Hey! Chef of the future.

What's goin' on with the meat?

Makin' progress?

It's not

quite there yet.

You want to give me a time frame,

like maybe next week, the fall, christmas?

Let me know so we can

plan our vacation around it.

It's just this short

of greatness.

So are you, jack.

Ha, ha.Got you.

That's a good one.

Hey, go, make

the girl food, the salad.

Ooh, ellen, let's go make

the girl food, the salad.

The same thing happened to

me when i first got married.

"How can you leave me all the time?

I didn't get married to be alone."

She said to me,

"ya gotta give it up.

Ya gotta stay home,

get a real job."

But i said, "you're asking me to give

up what i do, what i am. I can't."

And she understood?No, we worked out

a compromise.

I went back to work

and she divorced me.Lois?

No, this was beverly,

the first mrs. Jack.

I didn't know about her.Yeah! Then i met lois

and she got it.

Got what?

Look, mickey, i don't like to stick

my nose into anybody's business.

But?But, if you're with a woman

and she doesn't get it,

She doesn't get what you're about,

what's in your guts,

Move on.

"Move on"?

Move on.Jack, what are you saying?

I'm sayin', move on.

Hey, you're up.Yeah.

I gotta get goin'.

You look nice.Thanks.

Could i talk to you about a

few things before you go?

I hardly get

to see you anymore.Sure. What is it?

I just wanted to tell ya...you asked for it,

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