Forgetting Sarah Marshall Page #5

This'll be fun.

Lei?

May I help you with something else, Peter?

No, I'll just grab a drink.I'm just gonna head inside.

- Happy 4th of July!- Thank you.

Aloha!

- You done here?- No, actually, I just sat down,

I'm just getting started.It's delicious, though, thank you.

I'll just go f*** myself.

- Sorry, what?- Mahalo.

Hi, Peter.

Hey. Hey, bro.

- Hi.- Hey, all right.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Everybody, can I have your attentionfor one second, please.

We have a very special guestwith us here, today.

He is the lead singerof the band, Infant Sorrow,

one of my favourite musicians of all time.He's so awesome.

Please, please, let's take...

Let's see if we can get him up here,Mr Aldous Snow. Please, come on.

Share your gift.

Duty calls and all that.

I'm trying to be incognito, it's weird.It's like work to me, this is no fun.

Hey! Thank you!

Thank you.What a lovely introduction.

What an eccentric and confident young man.

I'd like to dedicate this songto a very beautiful woman that's here today.

It's Miss Sarah Marshall, there she is.

Look at her, blimey!

Old as ancient skies

I've had these wandering eyes

but you took me by surprise

when you let me inside you

Inside you

Inside you

This went from 6:00 to midnight.

Teach me how to growwhile I'm moving inside of you

Inside of you

- Inside you- Inside you

I long to be, is it wrong to be

inside of you

Inside of you the restless find their dreams

Inside of you this king has found his queen

Hey.

You're from the breakfast buffet, right?

- Yeah.- Whipped cream or berries?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm Peter.

- Kemo.- Kemo.

- Good to meet you, man.- Good to meet, you, man.

- Have a beer.- Thanks. Thank you.

Sarah Marshall.

Yes.

How do you knowI was dating Sarah Marshall?

Dwayne told me. Chuck told me.

Even Rachel told me.

I heard about it from everybody.You gotta stop talking about it.

It's like The Sopranos.

It's over.

Find a new show.

You need a hug.

Come here.

Oh, thank you.

You're awfully nice.

I gotta go.I'm prepping the pig for tomorrow's luau.

You should come and help me.It'll take your mind off of things.

- Yeah? You don't mind?- No.

I mean, I must say I'm a pretty good cook.

All right!

I can't! Please don't make me do this!

Do it!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

You can stop crying now.

He's dead already.

I'm not crying.

You should stop crying.

I don't cry. I'm not a baby.

Really?'Cause you look like a gigantic baby.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that at all.

Hey.

Listen, would you like to hang out tonight,like, not in an official hotel function?

Yeah. Totally.

A bunch of us are going to go to this,like, little beach thing afterwards.

You're totally welcome to come.

Maybe we could go together?

Yeah, whatever.

I mean we don't have to,if you don't want to,

I just thought that maybe...

No, listen,you don't have to make this weird.

You either want to go or you don't.

- I would love to.- Okay.

Awesome. Why don't you go upstairs,change that shirt,

and I'll meet you out front in, like, five?

- This is so cool.- You like it?

So what brought you to Hawaii?

- A dude.- Of course.

A surfer dude. You know, WCT, top 44.

Totally.

We were together for two years.

Dropped out of school,moved out here with him.

Three weeks later,I caught him cheating on me,

so I moved out, and that's that.

What an a**hole.

No, he's just a boy.

You ever think about going back home,finishing school, or...

No.

No. I work at the hotel,

doesn't really have to be a future in there.

Okay, my turn.

Okay.

So, how do you likewriting music for a TV show?

It's great, you know. People are great.

It's great to have a steady paycheque.It's... I'm very lucky.

Oh, my God, you hate it.

I f***ing hate it so much.

So then, do something about it.

Excuse me.

I'm just saying, if you hate something,change it.

- Don't dwell.- Well, I'm trying.

I'm actually working on a rock opera.

- Yeah?- Yeah.

What's your rock opera about?

Dracula.

Yeah, and eternal love, you know.That's the theme.

But I think the two sort of go hand in hand,you know?

And I...

I have this vision of doing it with puppets.

I mean, humans also, you know.

Why Dracula?

Because he's a man like anyone else.He just wants to be loved.

And every time he gets closeto a human woman,

he ends up smothering and killing her,

which is a feeling I am familiar with.

What? That's just a joke.

- Oh, sh*t.- What?

My ex. If I run, you run.

- Do you understand?- No, I don't understand at all.

F***ing motherf***er! Dipshit!

Rachel, what are you doing?

I thought I told youto stay back on your island.

Take it easy, just take it easy.

Yeah, you know what?The deal was over April 9.

Well, the deal's back on, motherf***er.

You ain't the chief in this village.I'm the chief.

Of the idiots?

Rachel, let me handle this. I know his friend.Let me handle this, okay?

Go ahead.

Hey, man, you remember me from breakfast?

- Oh, yeah, the cocktail guy, that's right.- Yeah.

This ain't the breakfast buffet.What, you with my girl?

Keeping her warm for me at night, huh?

Hey, what are you doing here?

That's right. Just hit him!

Rachel, we gotta get out of here. Rachel?

You get what you deserve.

Just a boy?No, that dude was a f***ing man.

No, no, no. He's an a**hole.I can't believe I ever dated him.

- You went nuts.- Yeah.

You guys are dysfunctional.

You were like one of those girlsfrom Flavour of Love.

- From what?- You were.

"I'll kill you. I'll kill you. "

Okay, I'm gonna go get us another round.

I'll grab it. It's no big deal.

You don't have to dote on me.I'm not that type of girl.

You look so hot.

Give me Crime Scene.Give me dirty Crime Scene girl.

Andr the Giant, out of the shot, please.

Mutombo, out of the shot, come on.

Did you know that there's a pictureof you flashing,

hanging in the men's room?

Yeah. I hate it so much.

My jackass boyfriend made me do it.

Keoki took it, right there.

And I asked him to take it down,

but he said that it would ruinthe balance of the collage.

Do you want me to tryto get it down for you?

No. No, no, no, he'll kill you.Like, really kill you.

But I have a surprise for you.

Really, what?

We're gonna take a quick break.

Tonight we have a special guestfrom the mainland,

singing a song from his Dracula musical,

please welcome to the stage,Mr Peter Bretter.

Peter!

Yeah! Go get them, tiger!

Please don't.

Peter!

- Rachel...- Dracula! Peter!

Get them!

What's up?

Thank you.

You know, I could play something else.

I just think out of context this might be...

Dracula musical!

Thank you.

It's getting kind of hard to believethings are going to get better

I've been drowning too long to believethat the tide's going to turn

And I've been living too hard to believethings are going to get easier now

I'm still trying to shake off the painfrom the lessons I've learned

And if I see Van Helsing, I swear to the lordI will slay him

Take it from me, but I swearI won't let it be so

Blood will run down his facewhen he is decapitated

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