Fourth Man Out Page #2

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or after he ass-banged you?

Okay. Dude.

Too soon.

I forgot I didn't drive.

So you're really...

Gay, huh?

Yeah.

- Cool. Cool.

- Cool.

You've had sex

with women before.

You dated Courtney for a year.

Cried when she broke up

with you.

Yeah.

But that was like,

that was like two years ago.

I mean, who have

I been with since?

I mean, I just thought you

had really oddly high standards

in women.

I do. They just need

to be dudes.

So...

Why didn't you tell me before?

Well, I tried to tell

you guys last night.

No man, I mean like,

way the f*** before.

I don't know.

- Your parents know?

- No. God no.

It's hard enough

telling you guys.

- - Believe me,

I wanted to tell you before.

I wanted to tell you

for, like, ever.

You know?

I didn't want things to

be weird between us.

Hey, nothing's

gonna change, man.

I promise.

What do we even talk about now?

I just can't believe

you didn't know.

It was so obvious.

- You knew?

- I mean, come on.

He's a good looking guy

and he's never tried

to f*** any of my friends.

So? That doesn't

mean anything.

My friends are hot.

You know, you should

invite him over

- for a threesome. I'm sure he'd love that.

- Oh, sure.

Oh that's

a great idea. Yeah.

Let me call him up right now.

No, I'm serious.

You know, he wants you, right?

Shut up.

No, he doesn't want me.

Now, just get hard

because I have a date tonight.

- Oh yeah, with who?

- Just some guy.

- Oh.

- Why?

- Are you jealous?

- Not at all.

- Should I be?

- Okay, well just take your pants off.

And don't touch my face,

because I feel like

I'm starting to break out.

Oh.

Hey Paul.

Dude, I guarantee you a hot-ass

MILF drives this thing, man.

For sure.

Actually, you know what?

I think she used to drive it,

now, the daughter drives it.

Oh yeah.

Give that a whiff man.

I'm thinking 19.

Strawberry blonde.

Volleyball player maybe.

Take a rip.

Get deep.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Hey, come on. Get back to work here.

Lets go.

Ronnie, we're checking

the f***ing mirrors, man.

Let's go, out of the car.

See, this one's broke.

I'm glad I checked this one.

This one was f***ed up.

Think he's gonna show?

It's poker night.

He'll be here.

All right, boys.

Last card.

Man, so, uh, Chris,

you ever call

that Fanny pack girl?

Ah, no.

What's the matter'? Afraid your

f*** buddy's gonna get upset?

Me and Jess are not buddies.

We don't even like each other.

So what's the problem?

I can't remember

that chick's name, dude.

I drunkenly saved it

in my phone like an idiot.

Let me see that.

I'm really good with this stuff.

- Train.

- Train?

You saved her name

in your phone as "train."

Ah, I raise 20.

Damn it, if you didn't

get that ten on the river,

I could've sucked you dry.

Oh yeah.

Hey, uh. Can I see

your phone?

Mm-hmm.

Sucked it dry.

All right, boys.

Daddy's all in.

Let's see what you got.

Stop that.

Cut it out, man.

Come on, stop.

- Stop, just...

- What?

But dude, cut it out!

I got two eights.

Okay?

I call.

Aw, damn.

F*** this.

- Oh that's probably Tracy.

- Hmm?

Well, if it starts t-r-a,

it's you know,

probably Tracy, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I could see her

being a Tracy.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna head out.

Uh, I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Yeah, you guys

are gonna come over

for the hockey playoffs, right?

Oh yeah. Yeah,

see you then, man.

Cool.

Okay.

He definitely wants to f*** me.

This is all your fault.

My fault?

Yeah, with

your Saint gay rom, and EDM.

You're the one

who turned Adam gay.

Are you f***ing serious?

You're the one who goes to all

these Taylor swift concerts.

First of all,

t-swift is a singing angel.

Mister skinny jeans

and ladies' deodorant.

I've got sensitive underarms.

It's not a secret.

Oh yeah, that's right. You do

take bubble baths with th e...

Dude, you're the one who

dragged us to see "les mis."

Oh f*** you, man.

"Les mis" is a classic.

- Why don't you tweet about it?

- You don't have time to tweet

'cause you're too busy

sucking Adam dry.

Oh, you were the one

eye-f***ing him all night.

Okay, he was eye-f***ing me.

That's not what I saw, GAYLORD.

You're full of it.

I'm not a GAYLORD.

I own a fantasy football team

and I like "die hard."

Hey guys.

Guys, stop. Stop.

We shouldn't blame anybody.

He was obviously born gay.

No, no.

It's fine guys.

Okay? I'll take the fall

on this one.

He... I'm too good looking.

No, it's nobody's fault.

Because there's

nothing wrong with him.

He's the same guy, right?

Right?

Another play by Stafford.

Perfect getting by him.

Myers passes up the wing

to McGINN,

turns inside, gets slammed

into the board side wall.

30 seconds left to go

on the power play down.

- Great start so far by the SABRES.

Boyle to Casey.

Pushes it up the ice.

Looks for McGINN,

taken away by Smith.

Goal, rangers!

And the game is all tied up.

The rangers time

of backing it in

and the game is all tied up.

Can someone just say

something, please?

Uhh.

So...

Um, you really like

the cock, huh?

As much as you like strippers.

No one can be that gay.

Sorry.

- No, it's fine.

Just say it, please.

I know you guys

don't mean anything by it.

You guys have been saying

sh*t like that fdr years.

You sure?

Yeah.

No one can be that gay.

Yeah.

Gay.

- Gay.

- Gay.

It's empowering.

Coming.

Oh my god.

You guys watching porn again?

- Holy f***.

- Yeah, I know.

Fur a gay dude, he sure can't

take a goddamn picture.

Dudemingle?

"Hey cutie, can't wait

for tomorrow night"?

Think they banged?

I mean, I'd f*** this guy.

Put it away, Adam's coming...

Yeah, on BRADSTAWS lower back.

Good one.

- Icing.

- Aw, come on.

You... you can't blow

the whistle that quick.

So f***ing gay...

No offense, Adam.

No offense for what?

Well you said something

about the gays.

And then you apologized to Adam.

Yeah. Adam doesn't like when we use

profanity in his house, Martha.

He cannot stand that sh*t.

Ah! Sorry, Adam.

- No offense, Adam.

- Sorry, buddy.

I... I had no idea

he was so pious.

I'm gonna take him

to my church group sometime.

Oh, what is this?

I wouldn't try to...

The ba'll'ery's dead.

I think my niece has one.

Oh, it's neat.

I can...

- Yeah, I'll take that.

- Than ks Martha.

It was really great.

Appreciate it.

- Uh. Umm...

- You all right?

Yeah, I cleaned it for you.

It's all clean now.

Oh no, nothing. I just feel a

little faint, that's all.

I think I'm gonna go lay down.

You know, it's getting late.

Decent people lay down

when it's late.

Okay.

Decent, that's what I'm doing,

'cause I'm decent.

What?

Menopause, man.

It's a b*tch.

My mom slapped a kid

at Macy's once.

Hey. Sorry.

Uh, "Ghostbusters" was on.

Totally lost track of time.

Okay.

All right.

So, Brad...

When did you take

that profile picture?

I'm sorry.

That's not me.

Oh.

It's a little dishonest.

Blah.

You know, but I felt like we had

this real connection online.

And I didn't wanna run the risk cf

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