Frat Pack Page #2

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- Get out of here.

Ah. Yeah.

[chuckles] Oh, wait, pizza's here.

All right!

Hey, El,

they got pizza in the UK?

- Uh, yup.

- Cool.

- Awesome. [clears throat]

- Hi, guys.

[Joey] Hey!

- Hey!

- Hey, all right!

- [Michaelson] Okay.

- [Sean] Yay.

- Hi, I'm Skylar.

- Hi. Elliot.

Oh. Nice to meet you.

This must be so crazy for you,

coming out here to meet these guys.

Uh... Yeah, a bit.

[Skylar chuckles]

[Michaelson] Yeah,

that looks good.

After you.

Oh. Thanks.

[Michaelson] Oh,

wait, wait, wait!

I got something for you, El.

- A little English food, huh?

- Oh.

- Oh, yeah!

- Oh.

[Michaelson, English accent]

Your tea and crumpets, sir.

- Thanks.

- [American accent] Yes, of course. My pleasure.

- Looks great.

- Like you never left home, right?

Are you guys excited

for the road trip?

F***, yeah!

F***ing road trip, baby.

Hey, are Amy and Shu driving

with you?

Yeah, and some girl from work

wants to come.

Oh, yeah,

I bet she wants to come.

Atta boy, Joey.

[all laughing]

- Joey! Right?

- Whoo, whoo, whoo.

[sniffing]

Sniff it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's my boy.

So... Sorry, what is it

that we're doing, exactly?

Oh, it's alumni weekend at

our college in Colorado.

Yeah, my frat is throwing

a f***ing rager.

Yeah. Listen, after dinner, why

don't you guys pop a few brewskis,

fill El in on the road trip, and

then I'm gonna hit the dojo.

Right after this, I'm gonna

give Sean a little ass-pounding

in a game called

"Ass-pounding."

You guys got that in the UK?

- No.

- [Sean] You're gonna...

You're gonna pound me

in the ass?

[Joey] The f*** you trying

to say?

You just said you were gonna

pound my ass.

That's your new family.

- [Joey] Don't even think about it.

- [Sean] I'm not gay.

[Joey] Pound, pound, pound,

pound, pound, pound, pound...

- [TV:
video game sounds]

- [Sean] Oh.

Pound, pound, pound,

pound, pound!

So, I thought you and Sean were,

like, boyfriend and girlfriend.

- Gross, no.

- You're gross.

I just grew up next door.

They're like my brothers.

But you all ended up going

to the same university?

Yeah, we wanted to get away from Bismarck.

Shocker, huh?

Joey had Van Wilder complex, so we

all graduated about the same time.

- [Joey] I can hear you.

- You know it's true.

Sean hates his job

and Joey's just living at home,

doing this.

All he ever talks about

is the fraternity still.

This trip's gonna be

good for them.

Well, I think life after uni

can be a bit tough.

- You know?

- Oh, yeah?

Well, maybe this will be good

for you, too.

Oh.

What's up, sluts? [chuckles] Just kidding.

It's a thing...

- [Joey] Fridge!

- [whispering] Okay, so this is Daniel.

They call him "Fridge"

because he's big

or eats out of a fridge a lot

or something? I don't know.

- Okay.

- Who's this guy?

Uh... Fridge, Elliot.

Elliot, Fridge.

Hello.

I work for the US government.

- Right.

- What do you do?

Um... I'm kind of in-between...

jobs at the moment.

- Yeah, "funemployed."

- Yeah.

You don't work for the

US government, Fridge.

You're a meter maid.

Parking enforcement officer,

okay?

Still working for

the government, Sean.

Shut up, Fridge.

You got it, bro.

Do you want another beer?

Yeah, but I'll get us one.

All right.

[cat yowls]

- Oh, my God, are you okay?

- Yup, just another cat.

It was a cat.

[panting]

[screams]

- [Joey] Morning, Dad.

- Whoo! New record.

[yells]

Road trip, motherf***er!

I'm really not feeling very comfortable

in the clothing Joey's given me.

I don't know, let me see. Spin.

I see what you mean.

It's a little straightforward.

I mean, I didn't go to their college,

but I sure do like to have fun.

Like, on weekends, I'll wear a

shirt with a more humorous slogan,

like, "I'm not as think

as you drunk I am." [laughs]

Oh, yes, very clever.

Shut up, Fridge. It's a wonder

why he never gets laid.

Morning, yo!

Oh, hi.

I can carry that for you.

Oh, no, you don't have to.

Not a fan of the po-pos, huh?

No, I would never usually

wear something like this.

- Hey, when's the evil witch arriving?

- Stop!

- She's coming now.

- [car honks]

Hey!

[woman #2]

Let me out of this bento box.

Road trip, b*tches!

- F***, yeah, b*tches!

- Oh.

So, Elliot,

this is Shu and that's Amy.

We all went to college together.

Oh. Hello, nice to meet you.

Elliot.

[Shu, imitating E.T.]

Elliot!

E.T., that's a great film.

He sounds weird.

- [Elliot] Sorry.

- Hello, ladies.

Let's get out of here

and ditch these losers.

Okay.

My friend will be here

in a minute.

That's right, you got a

hot teacher chick coming.

[Amy] Who is she?

She's the gym instructor

at my school.

She's going through

a really bad breakup,

so I thought she'd appreciate

some time away.

She'll appreciate my crane.

[Sean] Come on, dude, no.

She's got

a really cool personality.

[all groan]

[Joey]

Yeah, that's code for pig.

Guys, stop.

That's her right now.

God f***ing damn it!

- [Skylar] Hi, friend!

- Oh, keep your distance.

- Oh.

- Breakfast burrito's resting uneasy in my gut.

Are you okay?

We'll know in an hour,

won't we?

What the f***?

This is Shu and Amy...

- Hey.

- Hey.

- ...and these are the guys.

- Hi, I'm Sean.

Young Joseph.

Fatima.

[whispers]

- Who?

- Huh?

- What's your name?

- Fatima.

I'm Daniel.

[chuckles nervously]

But people call me Fridge,

'cause I'm strong or something.

It's whatever,

it's weird.

- Cool name.

- Yeah?

How do you do?

Elliot.

- Brit, huh?

- Yup.

- I bet you are.

- Okay.

Um, we're gonna head out.

I'm driving

and Skylar's shotgun.

- [Skylar] See you guys on the road.

- [Sean] Bye.

- [Fridge] See ya. Bye.

- El, I wanna talk to you for a second.

Hey, listen, I really appreciate you being

so cool about everything, you know?

And I really love your mom and I know

we're gonna be a really happy family.

- Okay.

- That being said,

go out there and get

some American ass!

[all laughing]

Be safe, huh?

Don't be late

to my motherfucking wedding.

Yeah, don't do anything

I wouldn't do.

Road trip, b*tches!

Drugs and sex and f***ing, sucking...

[screams]

Road trip it, motherf***er!

Oh, yeah. Whoo.

They're gone.

Got my run in, my shake.

Jerk off.

[rock song playing]

[man singing]

[song ends]

[Joey] Dude, did you hear

what that girl's name was?

- Yeah.

- [laughing]

Yo, El, did you hear?

Yeah, I heard.

No, but did you

actually hear it?

Yeah, I heard it.

No, you don't get it.

It's "Fat-ima."

She's fat and her name is...

[laughing]

Fatima. I know. I got it.

No, I don't think you pronounce

it like that, okay, guys?

I think it's "Fa-tima."

You know,

it's like a beautiful song.

No way! It's "Fat-ima,"

but she's actually fat!

You don't get it.

No, I got it.

- We got it.

- I f***ing got it.

Oh, you don't get it.

- Yeah, we get it.

- We get it.

[Amy] We are taking a different

route to those idiots, right?

There's really only one route.

And they're great guys,

anyway.

That English dude

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