Freaky Deaky Page #3

---

My... My girl kicked me out,

so I'm staying

at my dad's place.

I got you fired.

No, you did not.

Woody did.

I don't want you to give that another

thought, okay?

I'll handle it.

How about a grilled cheese sandwich

and a cup of coffee?

If I have any bread.

And coffee.

What you don't have is furniture.

Furniture can wait.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Hey, Mom.

DONNELL:
- Greta?

You like Greta or you like Ginger?

- I like Ginger myself.

- Who is this?

I represent Mr. Woody Ricks.

There seems to be some

misunderstanding.

I believe we can settle this matter

and you will be happy, Ginger?

This is his lawyer?

Yeah, I'll talk with the man

and get back to you.

That's Woody's chauffeur

pretending to be his lawyer;

it's Donnell.

They know where I live.

You'll be safer at my dad's,

just until I get this thing

figured out, all right?

Look, I'm not a kid.

I don't need you to take care of me.

I know that.

ROBIN:
Ready? Listen.

So now you're waiting, what, hoping

maybe he'll drink himself to death?

- Mark?

MARK:
- Huh?

What would you say if you

didn't have to wait?

If Woody were to

suddenly disappear?

How?

In a cloud of smoke.

Is this like a magic trick?

Something like it, only better.

Better? Okay.

How?

Because once he disappears,

he never comes back.

What would you say to that?

I'd say how much is a trick

like that worth?

50 million, right?

Might not be that much.

There's one thing

you have to do.

What?

Give me a key to Woody's limo.

Okay.

Don't look so surprised, Skip.

You get me that key,

I'll put the bomb in the trunk;

he opens the door,

great balls of fire.

What if he opens the other door?

I'll wire 'em both.

Hey Donnell, who would you

rather pork?

This brunette or...

that Swedish broad?

The brunette, because she has

my favorite kind of body on her.

Right.

Hey, where's my weed?

You must have left it

in the car.

Be right back.

Damn.

It's been like two weeks ago.

Pick up most of

a whole pound of weed,

then left it in...

Somebody don't like the man.

...b*tch!

Mr. Woody, if the brunette wouldn't

straighten her hair,

I'd tell the bimbo to get a wig.

Put a musical.

It goes better with weed.

You got it.

()

MAN:
Now, here they are with their

specialty number.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

- Music to Watch Girls By.

Uh, may I help you?

How's my brother?

Beautiful.

The man remains above earthly sh*t

like police stations and jail.

The man's all the way alive

and into his pleasures.

I wish you wouldn't talk like that.

I know you do.

Is this the one where Carmen Miranda

come out with all that

fruit and sh*t on her head?

Where are my peanuts?

Got the munchies.

You got the munchies, huh?

Well, you done ate

all the peanuts up.

Have to wait 'til I get some.

Doesn't he keep peanuts

in his car?

I'll go look.

Where are the keys?

Yeah, the keys.

They in the kitchen

on a hook by the door.

Wait now.

The peanuts have to be in the backseat,

you understand.

Yeah, the back, yeah.

Yeah.

I want to see this part.

We both do.

But I want my peanuts.

- Your brother went to get 'em.

- My brother?

What is my brother doing here?

We gonna find out.

Or we might never.

Look at this sh*t!

How they're holding their bananas.

(EXPLOSION)

You sure were a happy kid.

Oh yeah.

What do you want

on your burger?

Just ketchup, if you have it.

- So your dad's in...

- Florida.

(PHONE RINGING)

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hey, Gerry, what's up?

You're kidding.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be there.

All right.

That was my partner.

Somebody blew up Woody's limo.

Homicide wants to talk to me.

Why, because it was

meant for Woody?

I guess they figure if you can take

a bomb apart, you can put one together.

()

Mankowski, you gonna confess

or I have to beat it out of you?

It wasn't me, I swear.

That's enough of that sh*t.

The other people...

are gonna want to talk to you.

Jesus Christ.

I think this one should be easy.

A man gets a bomb put in his car,

it must be somebody not like him, right?

Or somebody gains from it.

Except, the only one to gain,

according to Woody,

is the one that got blown up.

I think that's what

Woody told me.

What about Donnell?

Man's been arrested for assault, robbery,

extortion, causing disturbances.

How does he get next to Woody?

Well, he claims they've known

each other for a longtime,

he says Mr. Woody took him in,

changed his life.

All right, what was

his brother doing outside?

Mark wanted to get

Woody some peanuts

and I asked Woody,

he comes like a skid row burnout.

What if it was Donnell

that set it up?

Somehow, he gets Mark to come outside

and get the peanuts.

That's possible.

I might be able to use a guy

like you, Chris.

If you ever decide

to move back to town.

See, with these kind of folks,

you gotta kind of know how to step

outside, so to speak,

let them do their own

kind of freaky deaky.

What, the sexy dance?

People are shooting

each other over it.

Two homicides come to mind.

You freaky deak with

somebody else's woman,

you get seriously hurt.

Or you could get lucky.

Depends how you look at it.

WOMAN ON RADIO:
And now for the latest

on the car bombing...

I can catch my hand.

Look at that.

I can catch my own hand.

Now what do we do?

Goddammit, Skip, if you would have

just waited for Mark

to get the key to the limo.

Just go back to the original plan,

we blow up his f***ing house.

It might be too soon.

The sooner the better.

While it's still ringing in his ears,

deliver the message.

Holy sh*t, these guys are serious!

(DOORBELL RINGING)

I hear you're out of these.

I heard if you hadn't run out of nuts,

the guy's brother would still be alive.

What was his name?

Mark?

Somebody else would have

opened up the car door.

Can't imagine

Woody opening the door.

I mean, that's what he's got

you for, right?

Open doors?

What else do you

do for him, Donnell?

Maybe call up a young lady?

Tell her there appears to be

a misunderstanding?

Wait now, what's this

sh*t you giving me?

- What I did?

- You called Greta Wyatt.

Tell me again who she is.

She's the one

you're gonna see in court

when Woody's brought up on

a rape charge.

So what you telling me?

You speaking for the lady, huh?

Who needs lawyers, right?

Yeah.

I see you come to visit,

you drive up a new Caddy.

You manage on about maybe

three bills a week, take home?

Yeah, I see you interested

in payoffs, rake-offs,

get the b*tch to hold out when I'm willing

to make a generous offer.

- What the f*** did you just call her?

- Hey, sh*t, you her lawyer?

What else, gonna

protect her good name?

I tell you right now I saw her in bed

with the man,

doing a job on him, too.

Where is he?

Who, Mr. Woody?

Having his swim.

Let's go talk to him.

Man, you love being a cop,

don't you?

Is he all right?

All the way live

as he wanna be.

I don't see him breathing.

Watch his tummy.

See it move?

Right there.

So that's what it's like

to be rich, huh?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes