Freaky Deaky Page #5

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it's this pathetic creature.

It almost changes how I picture him

sexually assaulting me.

You know, honestly,

I don't even know,

because of the

condition that I was in,

if he even stuck his weenie in me.

Well, it's still criminal sexual conduct

any way you look at it.

If we can prove it.

Horoscope.

Time to get your

financial ass in order.

Don't be putting off making your will.

Put in it who's ever been

most loyal to you,

whoever cleans up your messes.

Tricky Dick.

Oh, sh*t.

Hm.

(PHONE RINGING)

DONNELL:
Mr. Ricks' residence.

Let me speak to him, please.

Mr. Ricks can't be disturbed.

Wanna tell me who's calling?

I want to tell him I'm sorry

about his brother.

I want to tell him it was an accident.

What was?

His brother getting blown up.

I want to tell him I hope the same thing

doesn't happen to him.

I could tell him that.

But I want to

make sure he understands.

If you tell him, you're taking

quite a responsibility,

don't you think?

How much you looking to get?

One million.

Can you remember

to tell him that?

I believe so.

Would that be cash

or would you take a check?

You wanna play?

In about two minutes,

you'll hear the way I play.

It's gonna ruin your f***ing ears

so you don't forget.

Hey, it's cool, I'll tell him.

Sh*t.

()

(BUZZER)

Sergeant Downey.

And this is Sergeant Mankowski.

We understand you were at a party

at the home of Mr. Woodrow Ricks

last Friday evening.

ROBIN:
Was it Friday?

Yeah, I guess it was.

So do you recall meeting

a Greta Wyatt there?

I wasn't really

introduced to anybody.

So the only person you remember

is Mark Ricks?

And his brother, of course.

Hey, you're not Nicole Robinette,

by any chance?

I'm afraid so.

Do you remember a Greta Wyatt

going upstairs?

I don't know who Greta Wyatt is.

You have a lot of books.

You have much time to read?

Never enough.

Really?

Not even while

you were incarcerated?

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to

ask you to leave.

You don't want to

talk about old times?

Maybe fill us in on

how you got busted?

I don't want to talk to you about

anything, okay?

Now leave.

Don't say another word,

just get the f*** out.

Listen to this.

It says, You have a sense of inner

and outer harmony.

This would be a perfect day

to take singing lessons.

You may have talent.

What do you think?

Well, yeah, if we have the time.

We got us a couple of more

pressing matters come up.

First thing,

you need to find somebody

who knows how to get

a bomb out of the pool.

How did a bomb get in the pool?

Let's come back to it.

We also have a matter

of this lady called,

said she's gonna blow you up

if you don't give her some money.

Call the police,

they'll take care of it.

I'm afraid of what she might do.

You know, like,

she might be a crazy woman

and it'd set her off.

Well, how much does she want?

Yeah, she said like $2 million,

cash money, no checks.

Get it from the bank

and have it ready.

Yeah, she said have it ready,

you know, like in a box.

So then when she phones again

and tell us the time

and place she wants it,

you supposed to give it to me

and I deliver it.

Learn anything?

She won't be any help to us

for the assault.

Yeah.

I did learn that much.

Can I make a suggestion?

Tell Wendell to get a judge

to sign a warrant

so you can come

over here and search the place.

What are you looking for?

Bombs?

Also materials and literature.

Also, there's a little

red notebook.

She covered it up with papers

while you were talking to her.

Well, you know

you're in a legal gray area.

You can get into a lot of trouble

pretending you're still on active duty.

Or I could crack the case.

I guess it's how you look at it.

Put this down.

I want to cross Mark out.

Cross out Mark.

Mr. Woody, you understand, lawyer

knows who to take out of the will.

What we have to do is

tell him who you want to go in.

- Hmm.

- Hmm.

Hmm.

I... You know,

what I used to believe

was that red things...

were best for hangovers

and a really bad hangover,

I'd chug a...

bottle of ketchup.

WENDELL:
I gotta hand it to you.

The notebook validates her motive.

She blames the Ricks boys

for turning her in.

You're having fun being suspended,

aren't you?

Except for the pay, yeah.

Do two things for me.

Don't impersonate a cop and don't

tell me what you're doing.

Unless I get something good.

That goes without saying.

Whatever you say.

Hey, wait.

Take a minute.

See if you think this guy knows anything

about setting bombs.

Smoke?

Who the f*** are you?

Sergeant Mankowski.

Mankowski.

You the last one to see

my man Booker alive.

Listen, why don't you just tell us

who set the bomb?

Just step outside and my man

get blown up by himself.

It don't mean sh*t to you.

It don't mean sh*t to me.

Why the f***

we even talking about it?

You know what

I think I'm going to do?

What's that?

Get married.

You have to be in love,

Mr. Woody.

It's the law.

No, I'm serious.

I mean, not right away.

No... but soon.

And there's someone

I like already.

The blonde.

You mean the one who says you raped

her, wants to take you to court

and have you thrown in jail?

The tall one, the one with

the shaved bush.

Yes, huh...

You didn't tell me that, did...

Ginger.

She the one, huh?

I'm in love with her.

And...

I could put her in the will.

You could.

But let's see if you have

anybody closer to you.

I can't think of anybody.

Go through the alphabet.

A-B-C-D...

You know anybody in your life,

name starts with a D, Mr. Woody?

You know, I was supposed

to wear glasses?

We talking about Ds,

Mr. Woody.

Come on, let's see who we have.

I think, what do I need

to wear glasses for?

I can see all right.

But that's why I do not want

to take singing lessons.

I thought of somebody,

Mr. Woody.

- Who?

- Myself.

I would be proud to be in your will.

Oh yeah, well,

you're gonna be in the will.

I said, you know somebody

starts with a D,

you didn't say nothing.

Well, I was waiting for you

to get to the L.

Damn.

You way ahead of me, huh?

You know what

I've been thinking, was...

I want to write a novel

and I can dictate it to you like we're

doing right now.

(DOORBELL)

Sh*t.

Hi, Donnell.

We're not interrupting anything,

are we?

I mean, if Mr. Woody's floating in

the pool, we can always come back.

No, he's not floating today,

he'll be glad to see you.

Come on in, come in.

Mr. Woody,

look who come to see you.

Ginger and that nice police officer

come around collecting again.

Boy, oh boy.

Ginger, is that you?

Sit down and have a drink.

Donnell?

Is this the one

with the shaved bush?

Yes, that's right.

I'm gonna need to have a word

with you, Officer.

Mr. Woody here, fix Ginger up.

He's got a bar there

with a fridge in it.

I wasn't a friend of Mr. Woody

last time I was here.

Are you gonna behave yourself?

Oh boy, oh boy.

Come with me.

I got something that's

gonna interest you.

()

DONNELL:
All I want to know

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