Free Guy Page #6

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Maybe not. If we can find our original build in the game, it’ll prove that Antwan used our code without properly licensing it. And we just have to find it before Free City 2 launches. We have 48 hours.

I’ve looked, Keys. You know I have.

I know you have. But now that we both know about Blue Shirt Guy, maybe he can help?

That would mean I’d have to tell him.

Millie, he’s not gonna exist once the sequel launches. His whole world’s about to end. Don’t you think he’d want a chance to save it?

ICE CREAM VENDOR: Here you go.

Thank you.

You got it.

MILLIE:
Guy?

Hey! Hi!

Guy, we need to talk.

What’s going on with your voice? Where’s your Australian accent?

British.

I think I know an Australian accent when I see one.

I turned off the accent filter. This is me.

Good.

Look, I have to tell you something really important.

Are you married?

(GASPS)

No.

Oh, God.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

That would have been like the worst thing ever.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Maybe not the worst thing.

Huh.

I have to show you something.

Okay.

(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)

Wow! I always wondered what was in here.

ANNOUNCER:
(ON SPEAKERS) Tune in to the Kill Cam for more of today’s highlights of every bloody, bullet-ridden corner of Free City.

PHYLLIS:
(ON TV) Has anyone seen my cat?

GUY:
Hey, that’s Phyllis. She’s always losing her cats.

And there’s Joe! He’s my friend, I know that guy.

I don’t get it. What is this place?

There is no easy way to say this, but this city is a game.

There’s no easy way to say this, I know it’s a game.

You taught me how to play it. (PLAYFULLY) Boop-boop.

MILLIE:
Yes, you’re right, I did.

But it’s not just that it’s like a game. It is a game.

It’s a video game. And that’s all it is.

So the entire world is a game?

Yes.

And we’re all just players in the game?

Not exactly.

I’m a player.

All these people here are players. We live in the real world.

But you only exist here.

It’s why you can never leave Free City.

You’re what we call an NPC.

NPC.

The policeman and the muscular bunny rabbit, they called me that. What is an NPC?

ANNOUNCER:
Let’s take…

Just watch.

…another look at that leaderboard.

ROBBER:
(ON TV) Everybody get down on the ground!

BANK MANAGER:
(ON TV) Nobody try to be a hero.

This will all be over soon.

I don’t understand.

MILLIE:
You’re a non-player character.

GUY:
Non…

MILLIE:
A background person.

Someone designed to make the game more fun for real people.

Wait, hold on a second. Just stop for a second.

I wanna make sure I’m getting this straight.

I just wanna fully understand here.

So, I’m fake?

The entire world is fake? I’m not even a main character, I’m just this idiot who’s in the background?

Millie, why are you even saying this? I love you.

You only think that because it’s in your programming.

MILLIE:
Guy, I need you to listen to me.

In two days, the game is gonna shut down. For good.

When this sequel launches, this whole city, you, all the people in it who aren’t players,

they’ll be gone forever. You need to listen.

My whole life, I felt like there had to be something more.

And then I saw you.

And I knew I was right. I was right!

And for a second, I felt amazing.

I know.

Except you don’t know.

Because we’re not the same.

Isn’t that what you said? You said that.

We’re not the same.

You’re real.

And I’m what? I’m what?

You’re not.

You’re not.

Well, I may not be real, but for a second there… I felt pretty alive.

(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(DISTANT FIRING)

(DISTANT EXPLOSION)

(GRUNTS)

(SNIFFS)

(GRUNTING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES)

(WAVES RUSHING)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

(DISTORTED BUZZING)

(SHOUTING) It’s all a lie!

BUSINESSMAN:
Have the quarterly reports on my desk by Friday.

Quarterly reports. My, what specific business lingo.

Wow. Life in the big city. Ain’t nothing like it.

Until it crushes your soul.

(DREAMER SHOUTS)

Has anyone seen my cat? Has anyone seen my…

Your cats? No, Phyllis, I haven’t seen them.

But here’s a revolutionary idea… close your goddamn door.

It’s not like they’re climbing on top of one another, forming a little kitty tower, and then jimmying the locks.

They don’t have thumbs, Phyllis.

No thumbs!

(LOUDLY) Don’t you get it? Don’t any of you get it?

None of this matters! None of it! It’s fake! We don’t matter!

That building, that’s fake! This street…

(STOMPS) It’s fake!

That car…

(CRASHES)

(BODY THUDS)

(PAINFULLY) Officer Johnny!

Have a good one, Guy.

(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING DISTANTLY)

BUDDY:
Oh, hey, uh…

Come in.

(CLOCK TICKING)

BUDDY:
Here you go.

Thank you.

Buddy,

what would you do if you found out that you weren’t real?

What do you mean?

Pretend with me.

Okay, so… (CHUCKLES)

Can I pretend I’m a ghost?

Sure.

Oh. Do I look like how I look like now? Or whenever I die?

Like, do I have a funeral outfit on?

This is kind of funeral…

Doesn’t matter.

(RAMBLING) …but even though it’s a work uniform, ’cause I got a tie on.

Let’s move on from the concept, okay?

Got it. (LAUGHS)

I’m not a ghost. I’m very disappointed, but I get it.

Yeah.

I’m me, who I am right now, and I’m just trying to help a friend.

I say, okay, so what if I’m not real?

I’m sorry. “So what?”

Yeah. So what?

(SCOFFING) But if you’re not real, doesn’t that mean that nothing you do matters?

What does that mean? Look, brother, I am sitting here with my best friend, trying to help him get through a tough time.

Right? And even if I’m not real, this moment is.

Right here, right now. This moment is real.

I mean, what’s more real than a person tryin’ to help someone they love?

Now, if that’s not real, I don’t know what is.

Do you know the other security guards?

I know ’em all. Why?

Hey, Buddy… let’s not have a good day… let’s have a great day.

BUDDY:
Guy, what are we doin’ here?

GUY:
We’re here to get a video clip for my friend Millie.

Does this look intimidating?

I don’t know, Guy. How do you hold this thing?

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

GUY:
You have something I want.

And you’re gonna hand it over.

(SQUEAKING)

How’d you get in here?

BUDDY:
Easy. I know your security guard.

Jimmy?

His name is Luigi.

So if you took some time to learn his name… maybe he wouldn’t turn on you so quick.

I need a video clip, and you’re gonna give it to me.

Wait a minute, are you…

Are you Blue Shirt Guy?

Yeah, maybe.

(EXCLAIMS) Holy sh*t! You’re Guy! You’re Blue Shirt Guy! It’s you!

Yeah.

REVENJAMIN:
I love you.

You do? (LAUGHS)

I mean… I’m like a fan. You’re awesome.

You can have anything you want.

Wait, hold on one second.

Gamers, listen up, this is Revenjamin Buttons here.

I’m here with Guy.

The Guy, he’s in my stash house, and he’s here to rob me.

(LAUGHS) Can I get a little…

“what-what” for my followers, Guy?

What?

Perfect. All right, so what’s happening is…

Guy’s looking for a clip… showing a walkthrough I did to get to the secret level.

Who are you talking to?

(STIFLING LAUGHTER)

I’m sorry.

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