Freebie and the Bean Page #8

- Thank you. 1 0-4.

That's it, man.

We nailed it.

We swipe the officer's

copy from the DMV file

you got yourself

some evidence, huh?

Come on.

- What are you doing? Come on.

- Huh? Yeah.

[whistling]

[Freebie chuckles]

- What the hell was that?

- Haven't you heard?

The buses are all on strike.

- Super Bowl.

- Jesus.

They sure know how

to picket, don't they?

What do they want?

New steering wheels?

(male dispatcher)

'Intelligence, 2-1 ,

regarding inquiry.'

'Location

of Dr. Harry Ziegler, D.D.S.'

'1 3, West Temple, 52nd floor.'

Tell Rosen we'll get on it.

We'll be there in five minutes.

(male dispatcher)

Roger, 2-1 .

Old man Meyers

is having his teeth cleaned.

Ought to be

a nice quiet..

[woman screams]

...day.

(male #9)

'Jesus Christ!

What's going on in there?'

[indistinct chatter]

(male #1 0)

'Are you alright?'

[indistinct chatter]

Goddamn little fruit.

I got a confirmed reservation

I made eight weeks ago.

'Don't tell me

I can't have a room.'

I own stock in this here

cow-plop palace!

(Freebie)

'Excuse me. You want to take

it easy, big fella? Huh?'

Hey.

Hold it, hold it.

Hold it, hold it.

Now, look. Next move you make

is gonna be your last.

You got that?

What are you doing?

Hey, I got a gun here.

What's the matter with you?

These things ain't worth sh*t

unless you're going to use them.

Excuse me.

Oh, God.

Bean?

- Hey, Bean.

- 'You got him.'

- Bean!

- 'You got him.'

Give me a break.

Uh! Bean!

- I'm coming, Freebie!

- 'Alright. Please hurry.'

- I'm coming!

- Oh, God.

Argh!

[screaming]

- Get up!

- Give me the cuffs.

- I got him.

- Get up!

[indistinct chatter]

Come on, you big

piece of garbage!

May I have my mitt?

(Bean)

Here's a little

something for you.

- How much did he give you?

- Two dollars.

Not enough.

[Freebie whistling]

We can drop him off

at the 1 4th precinct

on the way

to the dentist's office.

- Took two of you to take me.

- Alright.

Snuck up from behind.

Typical chicken sh*t--

Just sit back and relax!

- Goddamn cities.

- Calm yourself!

- Sh*t. Come out in the open!

- 'Get in the back there.'

I'd have taken you.

I'd have taken you.

Turn on the radio, will you,

so I don't have to listen

'to that crap,

it's too early in the morning.'

(man on radio)

'From last night's

brownout comes a story'

'that makes today seem

a little brighter.'

'The story of a blind man

with a seeing-eye dog'

'who led two children

stuck in an elevator'

'through the darkness to the

safety of their mother's arms.'

Heartline. Another

heartwarming story.

How come all we get

is two spades

stealing a television set

out of salons.

Jesus Christ,

are you a bigot.

All this time,

I thought it was just me.

You're a full Archie Bunker,

aren't you?

So? What else is new?

What's new at home?

Oh, yeah.

I got to tell you.

'She comes home

last night at 2:
45'

in the morning,

dressed to the nines.

She looks better than I've seen

her look in 1 5 years.

Hey! Either one

of you two fags

got the guts

to stop the car

and take off

the cuffs once?

I'd love to take a pocketful

of your teeth back to Texas.

Listen, it'd be

really a lot better

if you don't talk any more.

You get my meaning?

So anyway,

where was I? Oh, yeah.

She's wearing

a black jersey dress.

Now, Goddamn it,

if you're messing around

with a guy that's got two

white dogs, you don't wear

a black jersey dress,

you know what I'm saying?

Maybe she was fooling around

with the dogs.

Huh?

I'm only kidding.

It's a bad joke.

Listen, why don't you buy

one of those, uh, vibrators?

Maybe that'll keep her

home at night.

What the hell's

the matter with you?

Those things are

for facial massage.

No, no, no.

You know, the vib--

It says on the box.

Those things

are for facial massage.

Are you stupid?

Are you a dumb Mexican?

'I mean no wonder

she fools around.'

(male #1 0)

'You gutless wonders!'

'No wonder you're cops.'

'Can't live without your guns.'

Well, I'll bet you both

squat to pee.

I'll bet you both

squat to pee.

Okay, that's it.

Stop the car.

- 'Pull over here, okay?'

- Hmm? Okay. Okay.

Come on.

Get up there.

- Give me the keys.

- Here.

(Freebie)

'Hey, listen.

Don't be an a**hole, Bean.'

'Put him back in the car.

We got a lot of things to do.'

- Give me the keys.

- I gave them to you.

Oh, yeah.

You gonna do it?

- You really gonna do it?

- Yup.

Hey, you're alright.

I love you, man.

Hey, you got a Polaroid camera

to take a picture of this with?

Now listen, I think

you're gonna let your mouth

overload your ass, he's a big

honker, this fella here.

- Okay, cowboy, let's go.

- Whoo-ee.

I never thought

I'd live to see the day.

You lived to see the day.

May not live to see the night.

(Freebie)

'Alright! Alright!'

Nice shot, Bean!

Okay, let's go.

Come on, give me

a hand with him.

What for? You did it.

Come on, get him.

I'm hungry.

Let's get something to eat.

- Hey! hey!

- Come on.

[humming]

Will he be

much longer?

It'll just be a few more

minutes now, Mr. Broder.

Well, would it be

possible if I could just..

Big baby.

- Ha-ha!

- What are you laughing about?

- I just, I just found out

why I became a cop.

- Why?

It's because when I was a kid,

I always thought

I was gonna get

arrested for something.

I had that feeling

myself.

No, that's different.

With you,

it could still happen.

Can I get something

for you, Mr. Broder?

No, thanks.

I got it.

Nurse, I have

a very important appointment.

Maybe I better change this

a-and come back

when I got more time, huh?

- It'll just be..

- Oh, hi, Sammy.

You can just hang those up

in the doctor's office.

Why don't you

try to sit down and relax

for a few more minutes?

Nurse, if I could just see

that dentist one second

I'd know whether

to wait or come back

if he has to pull it

when I got more time.

Oh, boy,

are you a big baby.

Doctor, do you suppose

you could see Mr. Broder

for just one second?

Well, put that magazine down.

Come on, talk to me. Please?

Okay. Go ahead.

Thank you. I-I'll just be--

If I lose my job, you

got to get me another one.

Hey, I'm sorry, I-I said

you were a lousy lay.

Don't get bugged at me, alright?

You did't say I was one.. When

did you say I was a lousy lay?

I must have said it sometime.

I must have.

Well, that's alright,

'cause I am a lousy lay

for a Mexican.

For a gringo,

I'm terrific.

- Stupid.

- Huh?

- Stupid!

- What?

(Freebie)

'Red!'

[gunfire]

What are you doing?

[screaming]

Are you crazy?

You're breaking things!

Hey, get the elevator!

(Ziegler)

Why did you do this

in a doctor's office?

You're not a doctor.

You're a dentist.

[gunfire continues]

[tires screeching]

(male #1 1 )

'Argh!'

Get back!

- Go that way!

- Go this way!

Come on!

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]

I can't hit

nothing today.

Oh, don't feel too bad.

You hit a nurse.

Central, car 1 3, in pursuit

of white paneled truck

east on Broad Street at 53rd.

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