Freebie and the Bean Page #9

Suspect's armed

and dangerous.

Request assistance.

1 0-4.

Don't lose him!

I ain't losing him.

There he is.

Hey. Did you fill up

the gas tank this morning?

Hate to tell you this,

but you took the car.

Look, I don't want to argue,

with you but that, uh

gas tank's on "E",

that don't mean enough

you know that, moron.

Where'd he go?

Where'd he go?

Hey! Come on,

shoot, will you?

There's too many

people over there!

Watch that!

Get it

out of here.

(Bean)

'Stop, stop stop!'

Oh, boy.

- Watch it.

- He outweighs us.

If it's a tie, we lose.

(female #5)

'They're killing each other!'

(male #1 2)

Hey, t-that's

a one-way street!

[horns blaring]

Hey! You won't believe this,

but I'm from Allstate.

What are you guys doing,

you're going the wrong way

on a one-way street.

Look what you've caused!

(female #6)

'Help! I'm caught

in my safety belt!'

Get a wrecker.

- Excuse me.

- Hey!

What are you doing

with my bike? Hey! Hey!

Come back here!

Fella, hey, come back!

Watch out!

- Hey, you can't do that!

- Hey, get down off there!

- 'Hey, that's not a shortcut.'

- 'Look what you did to my car!'

[drum rolls]

[instrumental music]

Hey! Jesus Christ!

[screaming]

Easy, big fella.

Hey, sucker! You just bought

60 crates of apples!

(male #1 3)

'Watch it!'

Pardon me! Pardon me!

[screaming]

- Whoa!

- Oh!

Look out!

Out of the way! Out!

Ya-hoo!

[instrumental music]

[siren wailing]

Son of a b*tch.

Oh.

Hey!

[woman screams]

(male #14)

'Look out!

Get out of the way!'

[screaming]

Hey! Hey!

Jesus Christ,

what a mess here.

It's only ketchup.

I think he's still alive.

- Call an ambulance!

- What for?

Get me a large bun

and a doggy bag.

I'll take him with us.

Jesus.

What happened to Broder?

Did you get him?

No. No. I think I got a hole

in him when I wrecked my knee.

There's blood

all over the street.

- Let's go get him.

- Are you kidding me?

I'm not going somewhere

with you looking like that?

You look like the head

of the Pollock police force.

- What a pig. Jesus.

- What? Huh?

Harry, dear. What have you got

there, a little Andy Warhol?

This?

A little piece of the third car

you guys have totaled out

in the last two days.

Hmm.

Now that's not

a state record

but it's the city record.

But you know,

if it happens one more time

and you guys get lucky,

you may get your names

put on a bronze plaque

in front of

- Ford motor plant.

- No sh*t?

Want to ride around with us

for a few days, Harry?

Protect your interests? We got

a lot of room in the back seat.

No chance. I got tickets

for the game tomorrow.

Well, seems like some of us

are only spectators, huh?

- Yeah.

- Spectators?

Goddamn it, where the hell

do you think I got this?

Hmm. Looks, uh, looks like

a Comanche arrow to me.

Bean, what do you think?

Comanche?

- Oh! Oh, it's terrible!

- What about this one, Harry?

Look, Harry, give a look

at this one here.

Oh, that burns.

Okay, let's go find Meyers

before somebody else finds him.

What makes you think

he's still hanging around?

What do you mean,

you think he left town?

After what you did to him

at the dentist's office

laying on top of him he's gotta

figure that you're

uh, trying to save his life

or you're very much

in love with him.

Type these up,

will you, please?

I think that this is

a good chance

he's gonna hide, you know?

[woman crying]

Uh, who do we know

who comes from Texas

that worked for Meyers?

Uh...couple of years..

Jimmy Shine.

- Jimmy Shine.

- Yes, sir.

I do a terrific Texas accent.

I mean really terrific.

Wait till you hear this.

Hold it down,

will you please?

He's trying to make

a phone call!

Uh, 2-1 ?

3-3.

- Hey!

- Hey, get out of here.

Hey, Mr. Meyers, how are you?

It's Jimmy Shine.

Yeah, we, uh, we come up here

for the ball game,

have a good time.

Thought maybe you

and your missus, you know

would like to

have some dinner, here?

(Meyers)

'It's very nice

of you to call, Jimmy.'

'Give us a rain check

for now because, uh, the missus'

'and I are going

to Miami tomorrow.'

Miami? What the..

What the hell

you going to Miami for, sir?

(Meyers)

'What am I going to..'

'Wait, who the hell is this?'

This is, uh..

It's Humpty Dumpty, you a**hole.

I can do it better.

If he goes to Miami,

you know, that's it.

He's not gonna be around

Monday to have the warrant

served on him.

You gotta think

of a way to stop him.

I mean, if he leaves town,

this is it.

Yeah. Okay.

First thing..

Let's figure out

a way to stop him.

- Didn't I just say that?

- Huh?

Gary Muncie.

Gary Muncie, that's it.

He owes me one.

you know, for 50 bucks

I'll have him break

the old man's leg.

- Now how is that?

- ...on a broken leg.

What is that,

break his leg?

Alright, I'm reaching,

I'm reaching.

I mean, I'm desperate.

We break his jaw.

No. I don't want

to break anything on him.

We're not meat packers.

We're law-enforcement officers.

- You don't want to hurt him.

- 'Forget that.'

- We beat up his wife.

- No violence!

No violence! Lt always

gets to violence with you.

He ain't gonna take no

black-and-blue wife out of town.

Could you picture this chick

checking in to the Americana?

- Black and blue?

- Stop it, you're makin'--

The black-and-blue wife,

he ain't going nowhere.

Leave me alone.

- Now, give me the ticket.

- What ticket? Oh.

Listen, uh, want me to go in

with you, you know?

- Good guy, bad guy routine?

- No. Just give me the ticket.

Alright.

- Oh, hey, uh, listen..

- Huh?

Dear, uh, if you need me

uh, you know where I'll be

over at Red's, alright?

- Yeah, right.

- Ta-ta.

Okay.

Everybody out!

Wife-swappers back

to your own beds!

What are you

doing here, huh?

- Daddy!

- Hey! Hey! Hey!

What are you doing in the house?

Get the hell out of here!

Here's $1 0.

Go to the movies.

- Get outta here.

- We've seen it already!

Out! See it again.

Alright, get the hell

out of here!

Out, out! Everybody out!

You, too.

What the hell are you laughing

about? Get out of here!

What's going on?

Where are the kids going?

- They're going to the movies.

- Ah, that's crazy.

- What's the matter with you?

- Get in here. Sit down.

What is the matter

with you? Huh?

Okay. Let's get

right to the point.

- What point?

- Where were you last night?

I told you. I went

to the school meeting.

- The school meeting?

- Yeah. I went, yeah.

Since when do they have

the school meeting in a motel?

They have the school meeting

i-in the school auditorium

like always.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Sit down!

You sure you don't want

to change your story?

Okay,

they had the school meeting

in the zoo in the zebra's cage.

Then what were you doing

at the Red Coach

Motor Lodge last night, lady?

I was at the school meeting

in the auditorium last night.

Your car was at

the Red Coach Motor Lodge!

So what? I lent

my car to Louise.

- You lent your car to Louise?

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