Friends & Crocodiles Page #5

What Paul thinks should be our priorities,

ideas we should be particularly concentrating on,

themes we should be alive to,

growth areas that are poised to explode.

Over to you, Paul.

Marcus, thank you.

I have one word for you.

When you say it out aloud,

it sounds like two words

but, of course, it's spelt as a single word.

So...

I've one word for you.

Bookshops.

Bookshops!

- And?

- And? There is no "and", Marcus.

Why should there be an "and"?

One pure idea is what you want.

There are very few bookshops.

A chain of quality bookshops,

that's what is needed.

Perhaps with a coffee shop tucked inside.

- Books and shops.

- And coffee?

Let the books do the talking.

Anyone wanting more details?

I will be available in my office.

(DOOR SHUTTING)

That sh*t, that f***er.

I'm too angry.

If I go anywhere near him now, I think I'll hit him.

He got his office back...

- for that!

- Don't worry.

I'll deal with it, I promise you.

LIZZIE:
How dare you?

(DOOR BANGING SHUT)

How dare you?

PAUL:
What have I done?

You just came here to disrupt everything,

didn't you?

You promised.

You promised me you wouldn't do this.

- That you'd behave yourself.

- And I have, haven't I?

I've been quiet. I haven't ordered people around.

I haven't thrown my weight about.

I've kept myself to myself.

I believed you, I supported you.

But you never had any intention

of working properly, did you?

You didn't need this job,

so you thought I'll just take the piss.

- Your idea of a little revenge?

- I don't know what I have done.

- I thought I'd been the perfect employee.

- Get out of here!

Get the f*** out of here now!

It's a good idea, you know, Lizzie.

The bookshops, it really is.

Five months' work.

That's meant to be five months' work, is it?

- It's a farce!

- You really want me to go?

I want you out of here in the next half hour.

- And take all this sh*t with you.

- Then I'll go.

I will go, Lizzie. No hard feelings.

That's what you think.

I just want you out of here, Paul!

Everybody's listening to this.

- Everybody's watching.

- You should get out of here, too, you know.

I'm not even going to bother to reply to that.

Because you really don't want to make a habit

of destroying everything you touch.

This was a pathetic idea of mine.

Thinking you could ever change.

It was the worst idea of my life.

And get rid of all these horrible old books, too.

Everything!

Just take everything!

That was a surprisingly good dinner.

The pudding was good, at least.

Did you hear the Home Secretary

saying she could be gone soon?

There are rumblings, rumblings.

Do you know what I think?

She's only done ten years,

she wants to do at least 20.

Always got your finger on the pulse,

haven't you, Neville?

I try. It's what I do best.

COYLE:
Now, I would give you a lift,

but I am going in the other direction.

PAUL:
William.

- Good dinner, was it, William?

- Paul!

- How are you, William?

- Good.

Well, keeping my head above water.

- Fancy seeing you on top of a bus.

- I like buses, remember?

The picnic, yeah, of course. Yeah, I like buses.

I mean, I'm much too mean

to take taxis all the time.

We must catch up some time very soon, Paul.

- I've got to get off here. This is my stop.

- Yes. Don't get off, William.

No, I've got to get off. This is my stop...

and there's somebody waiting for me to get home.

- Miss your stop.

- Miss my stop?

There's something I want to show you. It's not far.

Since you're here, and I'm here.

What've you got to lose?

I thought you said it wasn't far.

I don't believe I've agreed to do this.

We're nearly there, it'll be worth it.

"Was he following me?" Is that what you're...

You weren't, were you?

You weren't following me, surely not.

It's the end of the line! Paul!

Paul, you've taken me to the end of the line!

This is ridiculous.

What on earth are we doing here?

- A little eatery just here. Best food in London.

- I've already eaten.

- I'm absolutely stuffed with food.

- But you can always eat, William, can't you?

I need to call my girlfriend.

Come on, one of the only 24-hour eateries

in London.

It's amazing how few there are still.

A little surprise.

WILLIAM:
Spooky place.

All that way for this?

You're right, I did have space for this.

It's good, very good.

So what did you want to show me?

That man.

- Recognise him?

- No, don't think so. Should I?

Look again.

No, I don't recognise him.

I've never seen him before.

That's Oliver.

Oliver?

Good Lord! Is it, him? Oliver.

Oliver.

What's the matter?

- Should I go over?

- No, leave him.

He keeps himself to himself.

If he wants to, he'll join us.

We both found this place separately.

- I've discovered it's full of people who can't sleep.

- You can't sleep?

- I find it difficult to, sometimes, yes.

- Is it?

- Is it because the money's gone?

- No, that's not important.

I gambled on a few things and lost, so what?

Got involved with the wrong people.

At least it was all my doing.

You hear some amazing stories in here.

People who were shafted

by their business partners,

lose their house, suddenly lose their job,

and are left by their wives,

all on the same weekend.

- Bumped into anyone else from the old days?

- You mean have I followed anybody else?

- I don't believe you are following me.

- Suit yourself.

I saw the Albert Brothers.

PAUL:
I find it very interesting

the way people react to seeing me.

You have to admit it's fascinating,

especially, as I introduced them all to each other.

- And Lizzie?

- No, I haven't seen Lizzie.

Well, getting married very soon.

Yeah, big wedding.

- Got my invitation last week.

- Really? I haven't got mine.

Now she wouldn't, would she?

Paul, come on.

She wouldn't invite you to the wedding.

For Christ's sake, there's a feud going on

between you two, remember?

- There is no feud.

- All right, fine. Okay, if you say so.

I'll give her your best wishes, shall I,

for old times' sake?

Of course.

(BAND PLAYING SONG FOR WHOEVER)

- The Fotheringays.

- Peter Fotheringay.

Felicity Fotheringay.

Crumbs.

(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

Paul.

We haven't seen you in so long.

Haven't we?

You look different somehow, you two.

Sure.

Sure, we're creating anarchy in the city now,

instead of the art world

and, well, got to look the part, haven't you?

So we can fleece them.

Paul?

- Goodness me! Fancy seeing you.

- Fancy?

Amazing, here we all are.

Together again.

Older, certainly.

- Wiser?

- Definitely not.

Is that you, Oliver?

Good lord, it is. Oliver.

How tall is the Archbishop of Canterbury?

- You know I am always holding you up.

- Holding me up?

I hold you up as the cleverest child I ever saw.

And why?

Because you took all of your exams

and passed with maximum marks.

You know, I was so wrong all those years ago.

We must measure and define always.

Checking a child's progress. Testing and testing.

- You're a government advisor now, aren't you?

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