Friends & Crocodiles Page #6

- Chief educational advisor.

Discipline and creativity,

hand in hand, inextricably linked.

That's where we are now.

(HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH PLAYING)

Paul.

What are you doing here?

Don't make any trouble, please.

It's Lizzie's big day.

I'm here to cause trouble?

What gave you that idea?

Paul, a drink.

Isn't it great?

I think we've hired the most beautiful house

in England.

And the decor and everything.

It's amazing, don't you think?

I say that, and Lizzie did it all.

She did everything.

And it's a double celebration, too,

did you know that?

- She's just got this great new job, too.

- Yes, she has indeed.

AET, one of the biggest companies around.

I had a little hand in arranging that.

I made a few introductions.

See you later.

The groom.

Well, I better go and get ready,

study my little speech.

Paul?

Here by the water is fine,

but maybe not in the marquee, okay?

Don't worry. You don't have to guard me.

I'll stay rooted to this spot.

PAUL:
Graham died, you know?

Remember, Graham, the poet?

Died of AIDS.

That's sad.

Poor chap.

Supper is served!

Ladies and gentlemen,

any moment the speeches will be descending,

so scrape those plates, lick those bowls.

Thank you.

I'm hungry.

Pardon me, is this finished?

- And my friend?

- Table three, yes.

Thank you very much.

Very nice, thank you.

We're not proud, we can scoop around.

- Paul?

- Lizzie.

Paul, please.

- Please?

- Don't make trouble.

Why should I make trouble?

I'm very happy for you.

All your other ex-bosses are here,

and it's good to have a ghost at a wedding.

My parents are here.

That's them over there.

I want it to be special for them.

Sorry. Thought I'd make a phone call.

Lugging this great thing around.

Lizzie and you are going to work together,

I gather.

- That's correct.

- It's a great hippo.

- Excuse me?

- AET.

A great hippo.

Big, heavy company, awkward, loads of divisions

waddling slowly, but...

it's a great thing to be a hippo,

very difficult to destroy.

Quite.

- Never heard it put like that before.

- Paul likes animals.

Paul and I used to work together.

He was my mentor.

Paul, please.

I'm sorry, I am.

That I borrowed the ideas

for the decorations from the old days,

although I did help with them, too, back then.

But I know how it must appear to you.

I'm sorry I didn't invite you.

I wasn't brave enough.

I didn't know what you would do. But please.

Please don't ruin my wedding.

Not in front of my parents, my new boss.

- Please, Paul.

- You really think I would?

I don't know.

- You're capable of anything, Paul.

- I knew you'd invite everybody.

I wanted to see what they'd look like now.

I'm here because of them, really.

And I wanted to wish you well, of course.

- I mean it, Lizzie.

- Thanks. You've done that, okay? Now, please...

Jesus!

This is a nightmare, this is horrible.

Paul, please, I'm begging you.

I would kneel if I could in this dress.

Lizzie? Hello, Lizzie.

We must have the bride back soon, Lizzie.

So back here, please.

The ordeal of the speeches beckons.

Look, please, Paul. Don't ruin things.

Maybe you think I deserve that, maybe I do,

but please...

Sure, whatever you want.

I don't want to cause any problems.

I just have a notion I wanna put to you.

- A business proposition.

- Absolutely.

I'll call you.

- You'll call me?

- I will, I promise.

I'll call as soon as we get back

from our honeymoon.

Now I want to hear what you have to say.

If you go now, I promise I will call you.

I absolutely promise.

(DOOR OPENING)

- Your 12:
30 is here.

- Good. Show him straight in, Diana.

(LOUD DRONING)

William, what've you done to yourself?

I don't know.

I was in bed, merely sleeping, I hasten to say,

and it's age, I think.

So, are we having lunch here or out?

(LOUD DRONING CONTINUES)

No, certainly not here, not with all this going on.

They're redoing all the offices.

We're almost the last one left like this.

Soon be gone.

What a pity.

It suits this mighty organisation...

especially those lamps.

Your book is a great success, isn't it?

Well, it's just easy to read history, really.

Why we won the war.

I'm doing a book of political gossip, too.

The Blob said he would feed me

lots of useful things.

Talking of gossip,

have you ever been in touch with...

(LOUD DRONING CONTINUES)

Have you been in touch

with Paul since the wedding?

(MOUTHING)

Paul. Have you been in touch with...

- Do you ever call him?

- No.

I keep meaning to pick up the phone.

Yes, well, as the years go by,

it must get more difficult.

(DRONING CONTINUES)

How can you work in this?

A new look.

Yes, well, I suppose,

we must all succumb eventually.

- I've just seen a ghost.

- Hm?

They look unmistakeably

like management consultants to me.

Usual thing, isn't it?

When everyone's made to reapply for their jobs.

More young people sent along to f*** up our lives.

I must discover once and for all

who gave them permission to start doing that.

We're ready for you, Ms Thomas.

So.

We have met before.

Don't know if you remember.

I do remember.

That was in another life.

I should never have agreed

to let these lights stay.

"Oh, keep the original fittings,

they're charming," they said.

Well, I hate them.

Must get them removed immediately.

Now...

Simone and I are grateful for your cooperation

and for the time you've let us sit in on your work.

It has all made sense.

- It all made sense?

- There is just one other matter.

We've noticed, checking your CV,

sometime ago you talked to the press,

immediately after having left the employment

of a Mr Paul Reynolds.

Would you like to comment on that?

I shouldn't have done that.

There was no confidentiality clause in my contract

then, but even so, I should never have done that.

You have to understand it was a different age.

It was like the end of something really,

rather reprehensible.

It was the last dregs of that '70s-style anarchy.

I don't know

if that's an excuse for what I did, but...

But that's what it was.

Bye.

I'll call you back, Willie.

Lizzie, please take a seat.

I'm delighted to say

we'd very much like you to join our team.

Great.

There going to be

some very considerable changes,

and I have to warn you

that everything that is discussed between us

will be in the utmost confidence,

can only be discussed

between the individuals in this room,

and with no one else under any circumstances.

Now to prepare for this, I suggest you...

take the rest of the week off

while some of the people less fortunate

than yourself are leaving.

- Right.

- And do something

you've always meant to do in the next few days.

Get as far away as possible from the office...

and come back refreshed.

Hello?

Hello?

She's here! The lady is here!

Hi, everybody.

Rachel, after all these years, and Angela, too.

It's amazing to see you.

We thought you'd never come.

Paul.

- How do I get across? Is there any other way?

- No.

No other way. Stay there, Lizzie, don't move.

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