Friends & Crocodiles Page #7

(INAUDIBLE)

Might have guessed it would be

an obstacle course, coming to see you, Paul.

You have to dress for the country,

didn't anyone tell you?

Why do I always feel overdressed

every time I see you?

I had no idea you had a family.

As you can see, I never do things by halves.

It's just such a surprise.

I never ever pictured you as a family man.

Are they, er?

- Are they?

- From both women?

- Yes.

- I think so.

Yes, they are, of course.

You and your harem.

Got yourself another Eden here, haven't you?

Far away from everything.

Do you know there's been an election?

That after all these years Labour has got in,

or are you completely out of touch?

- The lady has come.

- Kids make way!

It better be warm.

We're coming in, make way.

- Anybody in our way gets flattened.

- You don't want to get flattened.

How lovely.

Never thought you'd see me here, too.

Never thought I'd last the distance.

- You busy?

- Yes.

About to be fantastically busy.

Don't let them kill the big beast, remember.

Your company.

Its spread is what makes it great.

- Who's the lady?

- This lady?

This lady here...

- she's my sister.

- No, why did you say that?

Come on in, Lizzie.

Come on, it's great.

Thinking just because she's disabled,

doesn't mean she should have to share a lover?

No, I wasn't. You don't always know my thoughts.

I was thinking she looks happy.

Jesus.

Here we all are.

Redfern at the picnic.

The Blob, Oliver with his sparkler.

You always keep the past with you,

wherever you are, I've noticed that.

- Whatever happened to the crocodile?

- He lives in Norway now.

In luxury.

Never did tell me

why you were so interested in the crocodile.

- Why he was eighth on the list?

- Simple.

Big asteroid hits the Earth, end of all dinosaurs.

But wait a minute,

there's a huge reptile

that survives totally unchanged.

Survives the Big Bang,

just the same now

as he was 200 million years ago.

How did he manage it?

Find that out

and you could've found the secret of life.

And how are you going to find that out

just by keeping him in a tank?

Using dreamtime, remember?

Kind of important, isn't it?

- Do you have time to think, Lizzie?

- Of course I do.

This is the place for thinking.

You should give it a try sometime,

it might have extraordinary results.

Now stop trying to wind me up, Paul.

You always have an amazing knack

of making me feel uncomfortable.

I think I've got a message from work.

I may need to get back to London early.

You don't have to go in the hot tub, you know.

Would you stay,

if you didn't have to go into the tub?

No, I just need to get back to London, okay?

This is work.

Great changes are happening.

- Why did you say I was your sister?

- Aren't we brother and sister, Lizzie?

If you mean we were always fighting,

yeah, we certainly did that.

- We managed that okay.

- All right, you don't have to get angry.

There's no need to get uptight.

You know I never really saw you as a hippy, Paul.

I never ever imagined you'd settle for that.

It's such an easy option.

It's all right.

You don't have to say, "I'll call you," this time.

If you want to, just say,

"I'll see you in another eight years."

Ah, there you are.

I'm not late, am I? I hope I'm not late.

We'll do this tour very quickly.

It is obvious why we're here,

and it'll get even more obvious.

Good morning.

Morning.

Good morning, ladies.

Perhaps, later, ladies. Thank you.

I need a moment alone with my team. Thank you.

I have to say this now,

because it's all the more powerful,

while we are in amongst it.

This is the past, everybody. This is over.

We will be ridding ourselves of all these factories.

We make everything from these vacuum cleaners

to lamp posts, from soap to helicopters.

It's ridiculous. It will all be shed.

It's been due for years and now,

at last, we can do it.

Not a word of this, of course.

Not yet, not a single word.

Who's going to tell them?

And when?

Jesus. We're buying all this?

Sorry, talking to myself.

No, leave it on.

Helps me to concentrate.

Everything on this list is going.

Everything on this list is a potential purchase.

And at last we've got a replacement for those.

Managed to survive a year longer than I wanted,

but the end is in sight now.

We will be buying every internet

and every telecom company

we can lay our hands on.

We have a huge cash cow

and now we are going to milk it.

The share price will be 16, 17 within a year.

There will be the most dramatic growth

in the company's history,

- perhaps, in any company's history.

- It's amazing what we are buying...

but are we going to spread the risk?

If they're all internet and telecom companies,

if things were to slow...

Telecom is an energy force unlike any other.

It cannot slow.

You know, of course, this plan is bollocks.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Why does this give me such pleasure, Lizzie?

Because we were being so slow.

So very slow to take action,

to get this company to join the real world.

REPORTER:
They believe inside this reptile may be

one of the strongest antibiotics in existence.

A defence mechanism so powerful

it kills all forms of bacteria.

The question that has puzzled many researchers

is why crocodiles never die

from the wounds they receive

from the frequent fights they indulge in?

Be there, Paul.

Something truly remarkable seems to exist...

Answer the phone, Paul.

Studying these results,

I want to issue a health warning.

Just looking at them that will seem as if

some of our acquisitions are not performing.

There's a slowdown in the telecom sector,

but this is because

we're in a process of transition.

We're in the middle of the cycle.

PAUL:
The only thing these need is a little tweak.

BOSS:
Things are not as they seem.

A little redesign.

A little poke and a prod,

and we are set for the 21 st century.

People will always need to clean their homes.

We have a future!

BOSS:
We are taking a deliberate...

Gentlemen, this bowl is a Fear Bowl.

People in years to come will look at this

in bewilderment,

because it is a power bowl, a terror bowl,

a bowl guaranteed to make people more stupid.

Why did you agree to this, Lizzie?

BOSS:
Lizzie? Lizzie?

Lizzie, are you with us?

Have we thought enough about

what we are doing?

- Thought enough?

- We're pouring money away.

We've sold off 75 of our businesses.

Sometimes giving them only a day's notice

of what's happening to them.

We're now thinking of making another

The share price is in freefall.

So, yes, I'm just wondering,

have we been doing enough thinking, gentlemen?

We all committed to this strategy.

There's no turning back, naturally.

There's no possibility for second thoughts.

Remember, the results are not what they seem.

- It's time for the meeting, I do realise.

- Yes.

You know, I just heard on the radio...

the share price has gone under a pound.

Now just 75 pence.

How could that happen?

I know.

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