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Friends & Lovers Page #7
- R
- Year:
- 1999
- 103 min
- 432 Views
[Laughs] named gertie,
and my dad told me
I mean, he said even if you
leave the cage door open,
they won't fly away.
They'll just...
Just stay there
Do you understand?
Yeah.
I loved gertie.
But you loved your father more.
What's that supposed to mean?
You opened the door.
Oh, god, Keaton,
it was so awful.
And?
And what?
And you opened the door and...
And she flew out the window
and down the street
and right into
the windshield of a bus.
I mean, it happened,
like, 2 seconds...
It was awful.
[Laughs]
[Scoffs] you laugh?
You know, my father laughed.
Oh, come on, Lisa.
What did you expect?
I wanted her to go free.
No, no, no. That's...
That's what you wanted.
What'd you expect?
I expected her
to stay in the cage
like a good bird,
like he told me she would.
I'll... I'll just assume
that whatever it was
that you wanted to tell
me out here in private
was in that story somewhere.
[Sighs]
Oh, f*** it.
Jane:
thank you.For what?
Ugh. I was so hungry.
My pleasure.
[Laughs]
For what?
Well, for everything, really.
Whoa, wow.
Well, uh, this is...
This is weird.
Ahem.
That's not right. You're my...
You're my best friend's
little sister.
It's not... that's...
It's too weird. It's not right.
Mo... mo... mo... mo...
Tel?
Motel? mm-hmm.
Motel. sounds good.
Motel.
No vacancies.
You know, it's Christmas Eve.
No room at the inn.
Um... is there
anyplace else around here?
I could check.
Great.
You know I've got
every hotel and motel
here in this computer.
Right on.
Um, which way you headed?
East.
East.
[Computer beeps]
Nothing. nothing between
here and the coast.
Sh*t.
[Moaning]
Who's that?
[Doorbell rings]
And that will be... Ian.
Oh.
Is... is Ian with you?
It's that f***in' guy!
Come on in.
You must be freezing.
Yes, cold us.
Yes, hello.
We brought the mistletoe.
Who's next?
I can't take this anymore.
I've had it.
Ok, the champagne is this way.
Oh, ho, ho, dear. Come on.
Would you like some champagne?
Oh, thank you.
Good. you're welcome.
Hans:
I play pianojust a little bit,
but I'm singularly
inside my spirit guides,
which are coming
into my body right now.
They're saying there's a song.
Uh-huh.
Let me check.
Yes, a song is here,
and it's called Carla.
[Playing piano]
Hans:
a boy like me...Are you all right?
I'm beginning to think
it's not the women.
That's impossible.
Who if not them?
My gun's for hire,
Me.
Seek my vote
sleazy downtown girl
this fraulein Carla's
Got my head in a whirl,
my heart in a whirl, too
I know I gotta
hear her in everything...
[Stops playing]
Oh, thank you.
That was wonderful.
Yes, but now the song's
over, the libido's up,
so come on. May I
steal you away?
Ok.
Grab the champagne.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
So... are you guys, you know...
I don't know.
I haven't asked him yet.
What do you mean you
haven't asked him yet?
[Chuckles]
Ask him to hang
the mistletoe with you.
Hmm? the rest is automatic.
Manny, you wanna go outside
and help me hang the mistletoe?
Seein' as you're
tall and everything.
Sure.
Where are you going?
I am going upstairs
to tell that evil
two-timing ViXen
and her ski instructor
hans boyfriend
that I got firsts.
Be careful, dude.
I got it.
Yeah, that's cool.
There.
Yep, there it is.
Are you a single gay man?
No, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
Sorry?
What, that's it?
I'm supposed to just split now?
No, I just kinda
figured you'd want to.
Well, you figured wrong.
Ok.
Let's go play
some chess. Come on.
You know, to tell you the truth,
I don't know what I would've
done if you had said yes.
[Laughs] yeah, well,
neither do I.
So I was... I caught an
edge, and I fell down,
and this guy helped me,
so I thought...
David:
we're friends.Is everybody
all right with that?
Great! great!
So I got up, and he
gave me back my poles.
I'm cold.
He kicked me.
[Laughs] she.
She.
I remember when I first
fell in love with you.
I had no idea what to say.
come up with an opening line
with one of my busboys
tito morales.
Next thing I knew,
he was using my line on you,
and I spent the summer
bussing his tables.
Does that sound familiar?
Yeah. he was cute.
[Laughs]
Ow.
Sorry. sorry.
I'm sorry. Ah, look at me.
I can't do it in a car,
and I don't want to.
This is our first time.
I want it to be special.
It should be special. Yeah.
I'll make it special.
It'll be special.
Oh, Ian... Ian, I'm serious.
What?
Come on.
Let's go back.
Back there? You gotta be crazy.
No way.
Come on, Ian.
It's 375 hours to your house,
and your dad's place
is just around the corner.
No.
It's final.
Oh, come on.
[Sighs]
Kiss?
Candy store's closed.
[Sighs]
Sh*t.
[Sharp exhale]
Oh, come on.
Jon, this is not a good thing.
Shh.
[Whispering]
or I can't hear anything.
Jon, there's a whole big, bright,
beautiful world out there
beyond the 5 inches
of your penis.
[Whispering] f*** you.
[Whispering] f*** you. F*** you.
Pssst!
F*** me.
[Whispering] Keaton! Keaton!
Keaton, Lisa, open this door!
Jon:
open this door, damn it!Come on, guys, open up!
We need to talk about this!
Jon, this is not a good time!
Oh!
[Giggles]
Jon:
Keaton, Lisa,open this door.
[Knocks at door]
Jon, piss off!
You're making
a terrible mistake!
Oh, god, Keaton,
squeeze 'em harder.
[Screams]
[Laughs] yeah.
Yeah, ow!
[Grunts]
[Sighs]
[Deep breathing]
Can I join you guys?
Hans is teaching me
how to meditate.
That's correct, Jon.
I believe the word
is "penetrate," Carla.
Oh.
No, Jon, and in order
for the pene...
Meditation to work,
I must... if you leave,
perhaps we find god.
Come on, Carla, you're not
really going for this crap.
This is the stupidest
come-on I have ever seen,
and I am the king of stupid.
Yeah, you can say that again.
Yes, you can, Jon,
because you are interrupting!
Forget about him.
You just relax.
Keep the eyes closed.
Visualize the light come
down the top of the head.
I will deal with the
problem called Jon!
[Deep exhales]
I can't find the white light.
It's too dark in here.
Jon, Jon, if you please.
Everything I do with Carla
is on your behalf.
I cleanse the chakras,
I start with the heart,
I go to the plexus,
I deal with the spleen,
I arrive at the root,
and then she is all yours.
[Sighs]
This guy is offering
me sloppy seconds.
Can't believe that he's
offering me sloppy seconds.
Ah, I could live with that.
Gentlemen...
We're outta here.
Where we goin'?
There's a whole big, bright,
beautiful world out there
beyond the 7 inches of my penis,
David:
really?Really.
[Car stereo blaring]
Jon, please, just stop.
No, just one more try.
Uh, excuse me, miss? Yes?
Hi. hi.
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"Friends & Lovers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/friends_%2526_lovers_8610>.
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