Fright Night 2 Page #2

Look, isn't there something weird

about Professor Dandridge?

Yeah. There is something weird

about Professor Dandridge.

Right?

Yeah. She's smoking f***ing hot,

you dick face. (CHUCKLES)

When was the last time you could

say that about any professor?

MAN:
It was part of the American tour.

(INISTINCT CHATTER)

- Is everything OK?

- Yes, sir.

Everything OK.

I think somebody just went missing.

Have you seen him?

This student was last seen

at Cachtice Castle.

(CAR ENGINE TURNS ON)

(WIND WHOOSHING)

(CAR ENGINE TURNS ON)

(CAR DEPARTING)

Detective! Wait!

(WIND HOWLING)

It's a UV filter.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

- Come on.

- (RATTLES)

Oh, good. OK.

(CLATTERING, CREAKING)

(CLOCKS TICKING)

(DOOR OPENS)

(FLAME WHOOSHES)

(FLAME WHOOSHES)

(LID CREAKING)

(FLAME WHOOSHES)

(SPEAKING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(FAINT WHlSPERING)

(WHISPERS CONTINUE)

- (SPEAKING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

- (WHISPERING CONTINUES)

(MOANS)

(MOANING)

(MOUTHS INDISTINCTLY)

(MOANING)

(MOANING, GASPING)

(MOANS)

- (GROWLS)

- (GASPS)

- (GROANING)

- (GASPS)

(YELLING)

- (GROWLING)

- (GRUNTING)

(BODY THUDS)

(WHIMPERS)

(PANTING)

(THUDS)

(HEART BEATING FAINTLY)

(GROWLS)

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

(SOFT GROWL)

- (GROWLS)

- (GASPING)

- (WHIMPERING)

- (GERRI CHUCKLES)

(WHISPERING) F***. F***.

(GASPING)

So glad you could come, Charley.

I thought there was something

special about you.

I just don't know what it is yet.

But I can't wait to find out.

- (CAMERA CLICKS)

- (GROWLS)

(PANTING) Hello, lnspector?

Oh, God, thank you.

It's about the missing person.

I think I know what happened.

I know it's gonna sound crazy, but...

...it was a vampire.

- No, I know. Look... Hello?

- (LINE DISCONNECTS)

F***. He f***ing hung up on me.

Oh, God.

- Hey.

- Amy, look. I... I need to talk to you.

How did you get in here?

Amy was kind enough

to invite me in.

- (GERRI CHUCKLES)

- Yeah. Come on.

Professor Dandridge asked me whether

or not I had any family in the region,

which, uh, I don't think I do.

Um, Amy, remember that thing

we got to go to?

- AMY:
What thing?

- Yes, Charley, what thing?

You remember, right?

The party that Ed was talking about.

- There's a party?

- Oh, I do love a good party.

- (CHUCKLES)

- Right, yeah. So, we gotta go.

- Charley! Why are you being weird?

- She's a vampire!

(LAUGHS) What?

I swear to God,

I saw it with my own eyes.

Get the f*** out of here.

AMY:
My God, Charley,

what the hell are you doing?

- Professor, I'm so sorry. Charley!

- Shh... It's OK.

I'm warning you, stay away from us!

I don't know what you're on,

Charley,

but you're starting to scare me.

Now, stop it!

It's OK.

You think I'm a vampire?

Really?

Give me the Bible, Charley.

Come on.

That's it. Hand it over.

(CHUCKLES)

There's a good boy.

I am so sorry, Professor. I...

Sun's coming up.

Better get back to my, um... coffin.

(CHUCKLES)

- I saw her. You've got...

- Shut up, Charley.

Once again,

I'm really sorry, Professor.

It's been a long night for everyone.

Yeah.

I'm sure having

the police buzzing around

has made everybody

a little bit jittery.

You take care of yourself, Charley.

Romania can be

a very dangerous place.

Thank you for your hospitality, Amy.

A vampire?

Are you kidding me?

Please, you've got to believe me...

Why are you making it so hard for me

to give you a second chance, Charley?

I have tried to put

the past behind me,

but we need to move on.

You need to move on.

- Amy, please...

- Go.

Countess Elizabeth Bthory,

aka The Blood Countess

or Countess Dracula,

is one of the earliest human beings

rumored to be a vampire.

(GASPS)

(RATTLING)

Ed?

Ed?

- (ROARING)

- Ah!

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Penis Breath.

You missed a good one last night.

Hunyad Castle was the sh*t.

(CHUCKLES)

Ed, what if I told you

I had an honest-to-God, real-life

vampire problem on my hands?

l'd say... you're f***ed.

- Oh, thanks.

- Well, it's true.

If vampires were real,

we'd be no match for them.

They drink our blood,

they can glamour us in an instant,

they run three times fast as us,

and, uh, oh yeah, one more thing.

(OMINOUS TONE)

They're f***ing immortal.

(GASPING)

Oh! Oh, God!

- OK.

- (LAUGHING)

After saying all of that,

what would you say?

Who is he?

Not he, she.

Maybe the Queen She of them all.

Gerri Dandridge,

aka Elizabeth Bthory.

Oh, dude.

Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

Oh, that is not good.

Oh, you are so totally f***ed.

What? Why do you say that?

Because she's like

the ultimate She-B*tch, bro,

and don't take it from me.

OK, look.

Every issue of Vampire's Crypt has

a "Vampires in History" back page

where they give you a quick history

of the Vampire of the Month

in comic form.

This is the entry on Elizabeth Bthory.

(INDISTINC T SHOUTING)

(THUNDER CRASHES)

EVIL:
Countess Bthory was being

escorted across the country

by her royal guard when it all began.

(MEN SHOUTING)

EVIL:
The sounds

of all hell breaking loose

could be heard

just outside her carriage.

- (MAN YELLS)

- (WOMAN SCREAMS)

EVIL:
The countess finally had no option

but to leave the carriage

to see what had happened.

(SCREAMS)

- (ROARING)

- (GASPS)

- (SCREAMING)

- (ROARS)

EVIL:
The few survivors

brought her back home

where the castle doctor

diagnosed her as...

...vampire.

Elizabeth's husband

was desperate to find a cure

to which the castle doctor told him

of an ancient pagan legend.

Only the blood of a virgin

born at the stroke of midnight

by the light of the blood moon

could save his wife from damnation.

(WOLF HOWLS)

EVIL:
The count ordered that his wife

be unshackled at once.

She would be free to roam the world

and hunt all of its dark corners...

...hoping that one day she'd be able

to walk once again in the sunlight.

(BLOOD SPATTERING)

EVIL:
But decades passed

with no luck for the blood queen.

Her quest eventually took her

to the shores of new lands.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

EVIL:
But the countless years

passed in futility,

and the blood queen began

to lose all hope

that she might ever find

the virgin she was searching for.

Unbeknownst to the countess,

the country of her origin

was pulling her back,

and Elizabeth Bthory returned

to the modern embrace

of her ancient homeland.

What if we've actually found her?

PETER:
On this week's episode

of Fright Night:

It just so happened

that the vampire never left.

Take me... to your leader.

He still uses this lair

to perform his rituals.

- Peter Vincent?

- He who has no fright of the night.

- Dude, he's a f***ing TV host.

- True, but the dude knows his sh*t,

and like I said,

he's in town filming a new episode.

- About Dracula, right?

- Correct-a-mundo, Chuckster.

(CHUCKLES)

So, are we gonna do

this sh*t or what?

( GRAM RABBIT:

"AMERICAN HOOKERS")

Double.

Hey, your producers told us

we could find you here.

Uh-oh.

- Do I got to call security over here?

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