Fright Night 2 Page #3

- No.

- No, no, sir.

- Oh, no...

- We have a problem.

- Oh... (LAUGHS)

Oh, let me guess.

Might this be of the "things

that go bump in the night" variety?

Like a, like a, like a monster problem?

- Yes.

- Hm...

(DJ SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE

OVER LOUDSPEAKER)

Shayla Sunshine.

Oh-ho! Shayla Sunshine.

You boys do not want to miss this.

( DEZ CLEO:
"LMFAO")

Let me give you

a piece of advice, fellas.

- Monsters aren't real.

- EVIL:
What?

They don't exist.

Trust me, I know.

Thanks to Fright Night,

I've been everywhere,

from the Himalayas to Haiti.

I've sought out everything

from yetis to zombies

to trolls to werewolves,

and every time...

(GASPS) ...nothing.

So there's nothing you can do?

No advice you can give us

from all the times you've...

...monster-hunted?

Actually, I do have

a piece of advice for you.

I was once in Saudi Arabia

looking for a djinn,

and the whole thing

went kablooey on me.

Had to hitch a ride on

a freighter to get back home.

Always make sure your check clears

before you show up.

So, what if we paid you?

What are you talking about, Evil?

Yeah, Evil, what are you talking about?

We all have needs, man.

Mine are comic books and horror movies.

Charley's is Amy Peterson's p*ssy.

Yours is money and strippers,

in no particular order.

Let's get you some of the ol' greenbacks

and get down to business.

How many greenbacks

we talking about, Evil?

Yeah, Evil, how many greenbacks

are we talking about?

How many greenbacks

do you normally charge?

Do you know what?

Can we please stop saying "greenbacks"?

How much moola do I usually

charge for what, Evil?

You know, an appearance,

a kind of assessment?

- You want him to assess her?

- Well, why not?

If she really is a vampire,

who better than the great Peter Vincent

to make that distinction?

And, even more likely,

if she isn't a vampire,

our boy here

can also make that call,

based on the fact

that he is the world's

foremost expert on not monsters.

Thank you so much.

I would love to... (INHALES)

Ouch.

I knew I shouldn't have taken the crew

out for drinks last night.

Two thousand dollars.

- What? There is no way...

- Done!

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

- Done?

- Done?

Let's just call this the small price

of doing business, OK?

Are you sure about this, Evil?

We got a deal, Peter Vincent?

We got a deal,

whatever your name is.

Whoo! Yeah! Boo-yah!

But, especially... a lot about

the second series

when you did most

of the vampire stuff. I...

- Come on. Come...

- PETER:
Nah.

- (PETER TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

- (WOMAN LAUGHS)

Come on, guys,

we don't have all night!

Sorry. Charley, wait there, dude.

Look, I know...

What are you doing?

Get out of here.

- I know. I'm sorry.

- Get out of here.

Peter, sir...

- Hey.

- Hey!

Listen, I... I'm sorry about last night.

Yeah, well...

You know, it's just...

Wait. Oh, my God, look.

Isn't that the guy of...

Isn't that the guy of...

What's his name?

The Fright Night guy.

What is it?

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Peter Vincent, right?

- Yeah!

That's so funny. (CHUCKLES)

Hang on a second.

Isn't he with Ed?

Hey, Amy! Hey.

You got to meet mine

and Charley's boy, Peter Vincent!

And me, too.

The one, the only! (LAUGHS)

Yeah.

He's the world's greatest

monster hunter.

Amy Peterson, meet Peter Vincent.

Seriously, please tell me

this isn't about vampires.

It's not about vampires.

Please tell me you're not lying.

- He's totally lying.

- I'm totally lying.

Charley thinks Gerri is a vampire.

I already had my suspicions about her.

And sure enough, I was right!

Her apartment is a total vampire's lair.

The lair!

We can get her before she's fed,

when she's at her weakest!

- I actually saw her feed on somebody.

- And then bam! Stake in the heart!

Just like you did

on the season two Vampire Special.

I'm out of here.

- Hey...

- Three thousand dollars!

What?!

You know, I always wanted

to meet a real vampire.

Three thousand bucks is not a bad price.

OK, so... supposing you're right,

- supposing you're not lying...

- (TRAIN HORN HONKS)

What do you want us to do?

Yeah, Charley.

What do you want us to do?

EVIL:
Listen, Charley,

don't sweat it, OK?

He's done stuff like this

a million times before.

He knows what to do. All right?

I trust him.

Hey!

Hey, Peter! Hey!

- Peter, what the f***?!

- What are you doing? Damn it!

- What the f***?!

- What's wrong with him?

Stay back.

Stay back.

Stay back.

Behind me.

- AMY:
Charley!

- Stay behind me!

Hey, Professor.

Fancy meeting you here.

- AMY:
Uh...

- You've been a very nosy boy, Charley.

Hey, kids, did Charley tell you

everything he saw

in my apartment last night?

- Yeah.

- No.

(GASPING) Oh...

(GROWLS)

- Oh, f***!

- (AMY SCREAMS)

Get back, you creature of the night!

- (GRUNTS)

- (ROARING)

Run, Charley!

(SHRlEKS)

Come on, Charley!

(BRAKES SQUEALING)

(GROWLING)

Go!

(ROARING)

- Oh!

- Charley, we have to go!

Ah!

Come on, Charley!

(MOANING)

Let's see how evil you really are.

(GROWLS)

(PANTING)

CHARLEY:
Be careful.

- I can't keep up, Charley!

- Come on! Come on!

CHARLEY:
Hold it! Wait!

- Come on, you have to keep...

- There's a hole! Come on!

- What?

- She's coming. Get in here!

AMY:
Oh, my God, Charley, move it fast!

(GRUNTING)

CHARLEY:
Get in!

- Oh, my God, she's coming, Charley!

- Quick, get in!

- Come on, hurry, Charley! Jump!

- (GRUNTING)

- Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Just go.

Oh, God.

AMY:
Oh, my God.

- Where are we?

- I don't know.

Are you OK?

Watch out.

- It goes on forever.

- It's a f***in' maze.

- Charley, we have to find a way out.

- I know, I know.

(GROWLING SOFTLY)

(TEETH CLICKING RAPIDLY)

(TEETH CLICKING RAPIDLY)

Stay close.

I think I heard something.

- AMY:
You heard something?

- CHARLEY:
Yeah, come on.

(LOW GROWL)

(AMY PANTING)

(SCREECHING)

- Charley, what is that?

- I don't know.

Charley, she knows we're in here!

(SCREAMS)

CHARLEY:
Run!

(ROARS)

- (AMY SCREAMING)

- CHARLEY:
Run! Come on, run!

AMY:
Wait up, Charley!

Oh, God!

(ROARING)

Amy, come on!

- Amy! You have to run!

- Oh, my God!

- F***! Come on!

- Run, Charley, run!

(SCREECHING, TEETH CLICKING)

(AMY SCREAMS)

This way!

This way! Come on!

Charley! Charley!

Come on!

Oh, sh*t.

It's an exit! Help!

Help!

- Help!

- Help!

- Somebody help! Help!

- (RAT SQUEAKS)

- Help!

- Charley? Charley, there are boxes!

- Charley, there are boxes!

- OK.

Sh*t! OK, stack 'em!

(TEETH CLICKING)

(SCREECHING)

Sh*t!

- Charley, hurry!

- I've got it!

(SCREECHING)

She's coming, Charley!

- I can't reach you!

- Amy, come on, you can do it!

I can't!

Grab me, Amy, please.

Amy, come on!

I can't reach you, Charley!

I can't!

Please, Amy, hurry!

Hurry, she's coming!

Charley, I can't!

I can't reach you!

- I'll catch you, I promise you.

- I can't, Charley!

Please, Charley, I can't!

OK, you're gonna

have to trust me! Please! OK?

I'll count to three!

- One! Two!

- (ROARING)

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