Fugitive Pieces Page #5

Salt.

Read it.

You sure?

"I did not witness the

most important events of my life".

My deepest story must

be told by a blind man...

from behind a wall,

from underground...

from the corner of a small

house on a small island...

that juts like a bone

from the skin of sea.

While I hid in the radiant

light of Athos' island...

thousands suffocated

in darkness.

While I hid in

the luxury of a room...

thousands were stuffed

into crawlspaces...

stables, pigsties.

While I was learning

Greek and English...

learning geology

And poetry...

Jews were filling the corners

and cracks of Europe.

I didn't know that while I

listened to stories of explorers...

a Jew could be purchased

for a quart of brandy...

for sugar, cigarettes.

What do our bodies make us believe?

That we're never ourselves,

until we contain two souls.

Now Im not afraid when

harvesting darkness.

Night after night it is

happiness that wakes me.

There is room at last for

everyone I have ever loved.

As Michaela approaches,

I shake like a compass needle...

feeling for the first time a future...

my words, my life,

no longer separate...

after decades of hiding in my skin.

"Here is a woman who will

slowly undress my spirit...

bring my body to belief".

We're gonna be late.

Coming.

Your Heart's desire is she's

a girl, Bella if he's a boy, Bela.

"Each morning I write

these words for you all...

for Bella and Athos

and Elena, for Alex...

for Joseph and Sara, for...

Ben and Naomi, for Michaela.

Michaela.

I can describe what

her wrists look like...

or how her hair grows

at the back of her neck.

But more, I know

what she remembers.

I know her memories.

I pray that soon my wife will

feel new breath inside her own.

I pray and press my head against

her side, and whisper a story.

Child I long for, child I dream...

if we conceive you,

think of us sometimes...

your mother and me,

when it rains.

And one day, when

you've almost forgotten...

I pray you'll let us return.

That through an open window,

even in the middle of a city...

the sea air of our

marriage will find you.

I pray that one day...

in a room lit only by night snow...

you will suddenly

know how miraculous...

is your parents' love

for each other.

My son, my daughter...

Bella.

Bela.

If we conceive you...

know that once

I was lost in a forest.

I was so afraid...

my blood pounded in my chest...

and I knew my heartstrings

would soon be exhausted.

I saved myself without thinking.

I grasped the two

syllables closest to me...

and replaced my heartbeat

with your name.

Bella.

Now I see that I must

give what I most need".

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