Fukrey Page #5

every morning he lays a golden egg.

I mean, every night he has a dream.

The next morning I break that dream down

to a lottery number.

Hold on!

I take the world for a ride.

Don't you try to hoodwink me!

Playing lottery is banned

in Delhi for 10 years.

Panditji...

you may be older,

but we are wiser.

You sit here in this cubicle, while we've

visited every nook and cranny in this city.

Delhi has four borders,

that's where lotteries are sold in bulk.

All you have to do is

mention our name there.

If it were a small amount,

we wouldn't bother you.

But this calls for millions.

Your investment. our skill...

profit for all, what say'?

Listen. you day dreaming jerk...

I'll be right back with Zafafs stuff.

Have your tea and get going.

Zafar. wait for me.

Trying to sell a dream to me.

Don't worry. Choocha.

Panditls an idiot.

He'll regret this later.

Yuck, the miser hasn't even added sugar.

Can you please add some sugar, Choocha?

What are the returns like?

Brother. the more sugar you add,

sweeter the tea will be.

Absolutely!

100,000 will give you a million,

200,000 will give two million.

You want to invest?

No...

not me. but I know just

the person for that.

But...

But what?

You'll be asked for collateral.

Of course, we have no objection to that.

We have a necklace on us.

Was the tea too hot?

Panditji, where's

Bholi Punjaban these days?

What?

You heard right.

Move...

Zafar. are you crazy?

What have they brainwashed you with?

Don't fall into their trap.

They'd even sell their fathers.

Don't get into their mess.

I'm the one who is in need.

Please take us to her.

Please.

Fine...

I'll take you to her

but 10% of the deal is mine.

Why don't you take it all and

turn this shithole into Taj Mahal?

Panditji, who is this birdie named

Bholi Punjaban...

whose feathers we haven't counted?

Birdie?

That's right!

I am a hustler.

Bholi only has an innocent sounding name.

The moment she speaks, it's as if

a tsunami has struck the river Yamuna.

Follow me.

Those deflated balloons on your roof

belong to your husband.

Your son stares at my chest all day...

with his tongue sticking out like a dog.

If you say another word,

I'll set two bulls free in your house...

will strip your whole

family down in public.

Oh God, she's made our lives hell here.

I think it's better to sell this house

and move away.

Fall prey to Bholi's abuses and...

your soul won't find a

hole to escape the body!

Put Jagbir on the job...

make sure they leave the house.

Yes, madam.

Bholi has got her hands

in every illegal business.

Yes? Hello?

Are you done'?

How many parties?

Madam, two parties have

deposited 50,000 each.

More, more, call more or...

I'll make you dance until you're sore.

Yes, madam.

Mention Bholi's name

and politicians tremble in fear...

and the biggest of stars wet their pants.

Hello beauties,

did you get the payment?

No, madam.

He said he is the minister's P.A.

and he won't pay ever again.

Is that so? Dial him for me.

Hi. good afternoon.

I'm John Miller.

Calling you from London and...

I'm glad to inform you that...

your email account has won

500,000 British Pounds.

Hello?

Say hello to your mom!

You may be the Minister's PA but

I don't give a damn.

Bholi...

you are going too far!

You won't get the payment.

Listen. the minister is in

a good mood today...

send some college girls over

to his farm house.

If the minister is in a good mood.

Why don't you please him?

I'll send over some hot oil.

Get it?

First payment, then enjoyment.

Now hang up!

Here.

Bholi Punjaban isn't any little birdie,

she's a hawk.

The last nail in the coffin.

Ah!

Pandit, what a surprise!

Haven't seen you in a while.

Hope you're not suffering

from some secret disease.

Of course not. Bholiji.

Actually, these days my wife

showers me with lot of love...

so I didn't feel the need to drop by.

So then, are you looking to adopt a girl?

Not at all.

These boys here have

an investment scheme.

Really?

I thought they're here to

propose marriage to me.

Listen. I don't deal with insurance agents

and bankers anymore.

They are not those guys...

Panditji, let it be.

I'll take over from here.

Madam, I am Hunny

and this here is Choocha.

What?

Dalip.

No, the other one?

Choocha.

Choocha?

Interesting.

And that's your captain?

No madam, I am the captain.

This is our coach, Zafar.

Shoot.

The thing is...

our friend Choocha here

has a God given gift.

He has a dream every night.

The next morning I use my God given gift to

break that dream down to a lottery number.

We buy a lottery of that number,

the number is drawn and...

we win, as simple as that.

Are you done'?

No madam, not yet.

So madam, here's how it works...

when we play 220 rupees, we win 2,000.

When we play 2.200.

We win 20,000.

If we play 220,000,

we will win 2 million!

If you can lend us that 220.000.

We'll split the jackpot.

Moreover, you can have 250,000

from our share...

as an advance payment

towards the leaked question papers.

So, how do you like the plan?

I've come across a lot of

salesmen in my life...

but never one who sells dreams.

Trust me. madam.

Every time Choocha has

a dream we hit the jackpot.

You can check.

Even if I believe in what

you'vejust said...

what do you have as

collateral for my investment?

Bholiji, they have a necklace.

Do you?

Bloody worthless freeloader...

trying to pawn me

a fake necklace.

Disgusting!

How would I know?

Ever since I was a child,

my mom would wear this for functions...

and tell everyone.

'look at my expensive necklace'.

I did not know, I swear on her.

Great!

Like mother. like son.

What a fraud family.

Now get lost.

Bunch of losers.

What if I give you something

as collateral?

What the hell is happening here. Pandit?

You brought an entire gang?

Planning to get me busted?

Ne, Bholiji...

he had no idea

I was following them.

I came because

I need the money too.

If its okay,

I can get something for collateral.

You can shove all your

collaterals up your behind!

I will only invest for

something substantial.

How about the deeds to my shop?

Which shop?

Billa Sweet Shop.

You are Billa's son?

Yes, you know my dad?

Yes, very well.

Alright, see you tomorrow with the deed

and the lottery number.

Thank you, Bholiji.

Get one thing inside

your tiny little brains.

If my money goes down the drain...

I'll take back twice as much.

If that sounds good, come back tomorrow.

Otherwise. eat, drink and make merry.

I'm thinking, if we

double the investment...

we'll get 4 million,

instead of 2.

Two for us and two for Bholi.

Don't be greedy, Hunny.

It's a sure thing and we won't have

to go to her every time.

You think Bholi will agree?

Without a doubt!

So, even I will get 500,000 instead

of 250,000.

Yes, everyone will get 500.000.

Okay-

Wonderful!

I do all the hard work

and everyone else has all the fun.

You haven't slept yet?

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