Full Moon High Page #4

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Well look, uh, good luck

with cleaning the house up.

Thank you.

Take care.

You too.

So long, Jack.

Not that yearbook again, Jane.

You're wearing out the pages.

Oh Jack, where did the time go?

How did we let slip away?

And one day it changed.

Please don't start on that

again, all right please.

Well, it's easy for you to say.

You always looked old.

You guys should've

seen that new kid Tony

on the field today.

He made a 60 yard run

right through the line.

Nobody could stop him.

I got so excited I dropped my pom-poms.

Hey, no eating in the living room, huh.

Here, come here, Edward.

Tell me all about this boy.

Oh, he was wonderful.

I'll pick out his father's

picture in the yearbook.

He was on almost every page, you know.

He was so popular, not like you.

Oh, that's him.

Same face exactly.

Same bulging thigh muscles.

Same well-rounded calves.

Same beautiful...

All right, all right, we all loved him,

but he dropped out of school.

He quit right before the big game.

His kid will probably do the

same thing and disappoint us.

Your father is just insanely jealous,

because sometimes in the height of passion

I yell out something that

sounds just like Tony.

Actually, all I'm saying is honey.

I always called Tony honey.

Yeah, so did the coach.

Look, Janie, I'm warning you,

stay away from this kid.

He's young, he's wild, he's impetuous.

Those round bulging thighs,

and those perfectly formed calves.

Look, I happen to be a

grown woman and a mother.

You will not forbid me to see anyone.

Why, but for a twist of faith,

that boy might have been my own son.

You mean my brother?

No silly, you would never been born.

That would've been nice.

Look, uh son, don't

let your mother fool ya.

We loved you as a baby and

wanted you with all our heart.

It wasn't until you were about 12

that we started to tire of you.

That's when you started

eating in the living room.

Now, get out of here, out!

I'm out, I'm out!

Jane, um, since this came up,

I was just wondering,

there's something I gotta know.

Before we were married, did uh,

did you ever have sex with anyone else?

No, only with me.

Oh, Tony!

Oh, Tony.

Oh, honey.

That's what I said.

Get your dirty feet off the slipcovers.

Oh no, get them!

Oh boy, oh boy.

Hello Dad.

You know you're lucky being able to die.

I can't die.

I don't even get a temperature.

I never had kids, Dad.

I don't really even

know if I can have them.

Maybe I can have pups.

I don't know, probably

wouldn't be fair to the girl.

Well Pop, I don't know what else to say,

except I, I miss you

and I'll see you around.

I miss you, but not that much.

Come on, let go, Pop.

Don't be a clingy parent, please.

And you, you get outta here!

Go find a roof to play on or something!

You're driving me nuts!

Excuse me.

Hands off the hips, please.

This music causes deafness.

We're going to have a

whole deaf generation.

I'm investing all my

savings in hearing aids.

Hey Miss Montgomery, you look super.

Where's that Tony Walker boy?

I guess he's not coming.

$70.00 at the beauty

parlor shot to hell.

Miss Montgomery.

What?

This kind of exhibitionism

can only lead to an orgy,

I mean an accident.

Miss Montgomery.

One sniff, one sniff,

and don't sneeze on it.

All right, woo woo.

This is my personal stash.

What, what what, what,

what, what, what is it?

What, I ain't

gonna smoke that sh*t.

This sucker's for real.

Come on Nick, where are you?

Nick, Nick, this isn't funny anymore!

I find licking my hand is a total turnoff.

Nick!

Oh God no, I didn't mean

it, I didn't mean it!

Here, here, here, lick it!

Take it, lick it.

Here, lick it some more!

I beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon!

Get him, get down!

Get him, yeah, get him!

Wait a minute, this is not a wolf.

This is not a wolf, this is an ape.

That's an ape, get off the ape!

Get off the ape!

All right, get outta here!

Ah, hi Dad.

What're you doing in there?

Perspiring.

No, I mean why?

Why are you dressed like

an ape going to a dance?

I don't know, Dad.

It's an attention getting device.

I can't dance and I can't skate.

I thought if I went to

the dance like this,

it might attract members

of the opposite sex.

Kind of reveal me as a,

as a wild and crazy kind of guy, you know,

and maybe perhaps,

eventually lead to an

eventual sex gratification.

Sh*t, why didn't I think

of this when I was in school?

You know, it wasn't a bad idea,

but you know, that guy in the wolf outfit,

he had the same exact idea.

Wolf, wolf, what wolf, what wolf?

There was a guy.

I saw him at the dance.

I saw him too!

Yeah, he went that way!

I waited 20 years for this!

You got my bus, but you

ain't gonna get cab!

I just got it!

Get out, I'm not giving up this cab!

$84,000 I had to pay for that bus,

and I'm not gonna give up this cab!

So just get out, get out of my cab!

Get out!

Another bum night.

I can't make it.

I'm failing every subject.

I'm gonna flunk out!

Oh, who am I kidding?

I'll never get to play against

Simpson and break that jinx.

Want a bite?

Of who, of what?

Alfalfa and goat cheese

sandwich on pita bread.

Oh no, thank you, I really

kind of pigged out last night.

Oh well, you're sure not a veggie.

I can tell you're too hyped up.

You're not into meditation either.

You really oughta give it a shot.

TM changed my life.

Really?

Mm hmm.

See, maybe you're the

friend I've been looking for.

Sounds like you don't have any.

Can you keep a secret, I don't.

Now, this may sound

kind of strange to you,

but I trust you.

I feel vegetarians are trustworthy.

We are.

Want an apple, grape, kumquat drink,

with asparagus juice added?

No, no no, thank you.

What's your name?

Ricky.

Tony.

Hi.

See Ricky, I have a problem, I change.

Fickle?

No no no, physically,

I change physically.

I'm sure that you can understand that.

You probably just finished

going through all kinds

of changes yourself.

You're not getting b*obs, are you?

Listen, if you are, don't worry.

Hormone shots can fix it.

No no no, my problem is worse than that.

It's much worse.

Worse than b*obs?

Say, is that your mother?

Where?

She's waving at ya.

I think she wants ya.

Oh no, oh no.

Yes ma'am?

Now, who says we don't get a chance

to live life over again, Tony walker?

Junior, I think you're

confusing me with my father.

Uh huh, now you can fool everybody,

but you can't fool me.

That scar under your right eye.

You know, I know every,

every single mark on your body, darling.

Now, don't call me that lady.

I mean what are you one of these molesters

that hangs around our school yards?

And don't try to open

that raincoat either.

Stop pretending!

I happen to be a better

detective than my husband,

and I know all about werewolves

and their little problems.

Shh, shh, shh, you didn't

tell anybody, did you?

Tomorrow I'm gonna take you

to an expensive restaurant.

A place where Jack is

too cheap to take me,

and then we're going

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