Full Moon High Page #5

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to discuss immortality.

I'll pick you up at noon,

you fierce, handsome bruiser,

or do I cry wolf?

Okay, okay!

Okay?

I'll be there!

Okay.

Will you talk to me?

What if I come over to your house tonight,

and you tell me privately, huh?

Okay, but not too late tonight.

Could you get by about

6:
30 before sundown?

Before it gets dark?

Sure.

It's absolutely imperative

that you get there on time though.

Oh, I'll be there cutey.

Anything for you.

Okay.

Hi, hi, come on in.

So, this is what it's like in here.

Yeah, this is what it's like, all right.

You know, I used to be scared to death

of this place when we drove by.

Yeah, a lot of people still are.

Why nobody lived here.

After your grandfather shot himself,

and your father ran away from home.

Boy, it's like one of

these real haunted houses.

Yeah well, come on,

I'll show you the rest.

Boy, you sure work fast.

Well, there's no time to

waste, come on, come on.

Where did you get all

this home movie gear?

I rented this.

What's this on the bed for?

Hey, you are kinky.

I don't think this is my scene.

No, this is my scene.

Look, what I want you to do.

Yeah?

Is strap me into this

bed, turn on that camera,

and then go home quickly.

You mean you don't want me to even stay?

You're extra kinky.

What're you gonna do all

alone when you're all tied up?

You're a contortionist.

I need positive proof

of what happens to me.

Photographic evidence that

even Mike Wallace will believe.

After the big game on Saturday,

I'm gonna show the whole world.

You're an exhibitionist too?

You sure seem straight.

Hey, you wanna put on my stockings?

No no no, listen, what I need you to do

is fasten me in here as tight as you can.

Very tight, I mustn't

be able to slip loose.

That's good enough, that's good enough.

That's a little too tight, actually.

Oh well, oh, you're cute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

just put these on here.

Oh, oh, all right, like that?

Ow, that's tight enough, that's tight.

Down here, baby, oh come on.

That's too tight!

Will you take it easy?

I know what you like.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

you're cutting off the circulation.

Ow, ow, ow!

Are you turned on yet?

No, I don't get turned on.

Wait a minute, I know what to do.

What're you doing?

Hey, hey, hey, ow!

No, you just tell me when

it starts to feel good.

That doesn't feel good, ouch.

You great big masochist.

You want me to talk dirty.

What do you want me to say, huh?

Switch on the camera, it's happening.

It is?

Yes, quick, the camera,

then get out of here!

You mean it wasn't on then?

No!

Hurry, turn it on, please.

Oh, you're so bad, Tony.

It makes me hot just thinking about it.

You let me know what you really want.

Oh, oh darling.

Do you know what you do to me?

Don't you ever cut loose?

I do.

Oh, this is wild.

It blows me away.

It's like magic fingers.

Don't get mad.

I mean, I won't, I won't

hit you anymore, see?

I didn't do it.

Kick him in the balls before I get killed.

What do I do now?

Wait, when a shark attacks you,

you hit him in the nose hard,

but he's not a shark.

Now what, what the hell?

Come back here you big, hairy lady killer.

Who do you think you're

screwing around with,

Little Red Riding Hood?

Well, we can take care

of ourselves nowadays.

Come on out you big macho son of a b*tch.

Burn, baby, burn!

It isn't only me you're afraid of.

It's this knife, it's silver.

See, my parents were wrong.

The Late, Late Show is educational.

I have to think of you as Tony.

It isn't easy, but you are Tony.

Now, don't be growling,

it just pisses me off.

Did you get scalded?

You're feet are killing you?

I know I read a report once

that wolves are very

family loving animals.

They take better care of

their young than humans do,

and that's not saying a hell of a lot.

Better, that's good.

Oh, by the way, I hope

those pictures come out.

Boy, everybody's not gonna

believe how you did it.

They're gonna think it's special effects,

but I'm your witness.

You're out of the closet now.

Ugh, ew!

What's the matter?

You want to be petted?

Oh, I guess everybody needs stroking.

Come here.

Well, this isn't exactly

your average evening.

You're not exactly boring.

You're not exactly good looking either,

but I suppose a person

could get used to you.

You're not much of a conversationalist,

but then I'm a very verbal person,

and you're a very good listener.

Maybe we should keep seeing

each other for awhile

just in case anything happens,

but you've gotta do

something about your breath.

Good afternoon, may I

take your order, please?

I'd like the chicken.

I feel more like roast

beef, rare, no raw.

I would like it raw.

Tony, why don't you have the chicken?

Well, which is it?

Um, I'll have the chicken.

The chicken, cooked, please.

Very good choice, sir.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What's the matter, is

you're collar too tight?

No.

Then why are

you squirming like that?

Don't ask.

Well, you can't be changing,

I mean, it's only, it's

1:
30 in the afternoon.

Well I, I, I itch.

I wish you'd stop that.

I think everyone in the

restaurant is looking.

God, oh God, it's like when the barber

gets hair down your shirt.

Oh Tony, it's not that.

What?

You got fleas.

Oh, don't say that!

It's from sleeping in the woods.

Right after lunch I'll spray you,

and you may have to wear a

little flea and tick collar.

And it will look very well on you, sir.

Ma'am, your chicken, cooked.

Thank you.

Now, let's get down

to brass tacks, Tony.

Fleas or no fleas, I

want to be your woman.

Am I too old for you now?

Oh, I don't know.

Did you ever see that

movie Harold and Maude?

Yeah, I saw that movie Harold and Maude,

and I really don't wanna talk about it.

Oh Tony, why can't you do for me

what the werewolf did for you?

Make me ageless and immortal.

Then we can just be together

throughout all eternity.

Oh, I don't know.

We might run out of things

to say to each other.

Like by next Tuesday.

Then where would we be for

the next million years, huh?

Oh no, not again.

I gave in Romania.

Your food's getting cold.

Yeah I know, I like it body temperature.

Ow, this is silver!

It's real silver and it touched me!

I'm gonna be sick!

Pay the check first, then

be sick, somewhere else.

Just get out of my way.

Stay back!

Can you tell me?

Have you killed lots of people?

Oh no, I've never killed anyone.

I just kind of nibble.

I'm a nosher.

A little bit goes a long way, you know,

but I'm worried one day

my eyes will get bigger than my stomach,

and then who knows what'll happen.

I wanna get out and

into the bushes for awhile.

Oh, I spend every night in the bushes.

It's no novelty for me.

I want you to make love

to me, Tony, one time,

as you are now, the real Tony.

Yeah, but it's hot out there,

and there's mosquitoes and gnats.

I wanna have something to remember.

What, last night wasn't

unusual enough for you?

How long has it been

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