Full Of It Page #2

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Now, why would that be?

M- My dog ate it?

Ha ha ha.

Your dog ate it?

Uhh...

He has this fetish and he's constantly eating my homework.

I'm not sure that joining the no-homework club...

your first week here...

is the best way for you to get that math scholarship.

Any more forced singing?

Oh, hey.

I'm Annie.

Sam.

Good morning, readers. - Morning, Mrs. Moran.

Hey, Mrs. Moran.

Please don't tell me you're one of those guys...

who actually thinks he has a shot with his teacher.

Ahem. No. No, no, no, no, no.

Not one of those guys.

Because I actually do have a shot.

Really?

And why is that?

W- Well-

let's just say that...

if things ended up getting hot and heavy...

wouldn't be the first time.

At my last school my social studies teacher...

had like this huge crush on me...

like she was in love with me, like she wanted to marry me.

She ended up leaving her husband...

was forced to resign.

Because of that, now I know...

that Mrs. Moran will be into me as well.

Are you drunk?

All right, for our Othello project...

I'd like everyone to partner up with someone today...

so that you can all get started.

I hate group projects.

I always end up doing all of the work.

Huh. Tell me about it.

You wanna partner up?

Ha ha.

I guess it can't hurt to share a grade...

with a guy who's having a steamy affair...

with the teacher.

. I'm comin' over.

. See me down at the station.

. By the lane with my hands in my pocket.

. Jinglin' a wish coin.

. That I stole from a fountain.

. That was drowning all the cares in the world.

. When I get older.

. Climbin' up on the back porch fence.

. Just to see the dogs runnin'.

. With a ring and a question.

. And my shiverin' voice is singin'.

. Through a crack in the window.

. Na na na na na.

. I better go it alone.

. Na na na na na.

. I better go it alone.

. Na na na na na.

Hey.

So, you wanna go sit over there?

They totally humiliated you yesterday.

That table is the land of milk and honey.

It's the same in every school.

Always laughing, always cool and charming.

Always happy. I mean, who wouldn't want that?

Please, that's just what they want you to think.

Trust me, their lives suck...

just as bad as ours.

Hey, hey, hey. - What?

Who's that?

Vicki Sanders.

There you go, start dating her...

and you can sit there all you want.

Sam? - What?

You know I'm joking, right?

It's-It's perfect. Heh.

It's exactly what I gotta do.

No, she dates basketball players.

Specifically, Kyle Plunkett.

You'll get assassinated if you ask her out.

Or maybe... just... maybe...

She'll say yes and before you know it...

I'll be sitting over there, swapping "how do you dos"...

with the Bridgeport elite. - Ha.

I'm sorry, this seat's saved.

Ha ha ha.

But there wasn't even a chair here.

Oh. There is now.

Thank you.

Ha.

Look at this kid. Isn't he short?

Heh heh. - What a loser.

Where's the golf course?

Ha ha ha ha!

Shall we go shopping for engagement rings now?

Actually, if you must know...

it went just as I expected.

Wow. You set amazingly low goals for yourself.

I like it.

You can't just expect her to jump into my arms...

right in front of Kyle.

But there was something there?

Oh, yeah, definitely...

I mean, tch, we have major chemistry.

So, you've been here what, a day?

And already Mrs. Moran and Vicki Sanders...

are lusting after you.

Uh, well, you know...

they're, uh, different.

Really? How are they different?

Well, you s-you see...

V- Vicki is more of the, ahem...

dangerous stalker, sex in the bathroom...

Spanish soap opera type, and-

OK, stop. That's not possible.

I have Spanish with Vicki...

and she can't conjugate a verb to save her life.

Cut the crap. Look, I-I get it...

you're lying to-

to jazz up your otherwise miserable life.

But... hanging out with them...

really cannot be worth all this.

Some of you guys may've heard, um...

my, uh, my house got vandalized after our last loss...

Uh, again. Heh heh heh heh. - Ha ha ha!

Uh, so we're-

we're gonna be cutting practice a little short today...

so I can go buy a new garage door.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. - Woo!

Ha!

Does he shave his legs?

Uhh, start with two lines of lay-up drills.

Hey. Who are you?

I'm, uh, Sam Leonard.

Wh-Who sent you? - Uh, n-no one.

I- I'm the student that transferred into your P.E. class...

and I was really hoping to be on the team.

Oh, yeah? We're last in our conference...

we're in the middle of a 4-game losing streak, right?

Oh, but-yeah, but it's not always...

about winning, right? It's-

Not in Bridgeport. Heh heh.

Come on, kid, I'm-

I don't even think we'll have a uniform that'd fit you.

I mean, the-the shorts are gonna go up to your nipples...

I was the star point guard at my... uh, last school.

Was that a boys' school?

Seriously, Coach...

I never, never miss a shot.

My bad.

. Pistol of fire, pistol of fire.

. Pistol of fire.

. Shattered the frame.

. Go hug your sister.

. Go love your sister.

. Go hug your sister.

. One and the same.

. Aaaow!.

. Come home 'fore that rooster crows.

Aaagh!

Well, I've got my basketball scholarship.

Awesome! - What's a scholarship?

Check this out. Not only does he play like a girl...

but he must be hung like one too.

Ha ha ha ha.

It-it-it-it's not small.

Oh, yeah, man. - Yeah, right.

Look, look...

if you just admitted you had a micro...

we would tease you a little and then let it go.

But when you lie to our faces it insults us...

and we have to make an issue out of it.

Ha ha ha.

So, just admit you're sporting a chapstick-

Ha ha ha! Chapstick! Ha ha!

And we'll let it go! - The-

The-The truth of the matter is...

I'm hung like a newborn.

Oh! Ha ha ha! - See!

Even he admits it. - Ha ha ha.

The-The coach made me promise to keep it covered...

so I wouldn't hurt your self-esteem...

right before the next game.

Dude, that would-

that would really scare me.

What? You're not believing this dwarf?

Hey, guess who got 2 tickets to Homecoming.

Ah, you're joking, right?

Get in.

Will Vicki be picking you up...

or will you be escorting her on your bike?

Uhh, I'm not gonna ask Vicki.

Why, what happened? I thought you guys really had something.

That is just it.

I got a note in my-my locker, from Kyle...

basically warning me to stay away from her.

Well, that sounds really threatening.

He said that if I didn't stay away from her...

well, then he would douse me...

in some sort of common household cleanser...

pull me behind his truck...

and, uh, hook my nuts up to a car battery.

Ha. - Yeah.

I think he even wrote it in blood.

Who are you gonna ask, then?

. Well, I'm reading this poem and it's so profound.

. And I-I like its rhythm and I.

My mom's an artist. Avant-garde.

Her work's way out there.

Very famous, Jill Leonard, perhaps you heard of her?

...And I start to realize...

You wanna go to Homecoming?

. Lies, lies, lies, lies...

My name's Sam Leonard, and my dad's...

a pretty big rock star.

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