Full Of It Page #3

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Isn't your dad a little old to be a rock star?

Uhh... Well, yeah-well it's not-

It's not really a-a current band.

Well, what band is it?

Poison.

Ha ha. - Poison?

That horrible hair metal band from the '80s?

Anyway, my dad's like making this huge comeback...

so if you're at all interested in maybe...

getting some backstage passes... -. Lies, lies, lies...

maybe you and I could talk about it at Homecoming.

. Lies, lies, lies, lies...

Got kicked out of my last school...

for sending the principal to the hospital.

And if this new one even looks at me funny...

he might be making a trip to the E.R. as well.

Awesome.

So, I was thinking, you know...

maybe you wanna go to Homecoming with me...

to watch me kick his ass!

. Lies, lies, lies, lies.

. Lies lies, lies lies.

. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies.

So, you find your big Homecoming date yet?

No. And I literally asked out every girl in school...

who doesn't take the short bus.

Well, I don't take the short bus.

Yeah, but, I'm only trying to ask out girls...

who I'm 99% sure will say no.

You're a full 100%.

Well, that was in the past.

Things change, people change.

All right.

Annie, do you wanna go to Homecoming with me?

No, I hate Homecoming.

Appreciate it.

Good evening?

How do you like your Brussels sprouts?

Oh, yes, hello! - Mmmm!

They're great.

Really?

I'd have 'em every meal if I could.

I appreciate you calling.

Well, thank you.

Sam, that was your math teacher...

Mr. Von Der Ahe.

He's worried you might be getting off on the wrong foot...

since you didn't do your first homework assignment.

Sam, is this true?

I can't believe that you'd jeopardize...

your chance at the scholarship like this.

No, no. I-I did my homework.

Oh, so you're saying the teacher's lying?

I did my homework but I told him I didn't.

So you're the one who's lying.

Yeah, I guess, in a way, but-

You know what they say about liars, don't you, Sam?

That-That their pants are on fire?

Oh, no, please don't.

Sam! Sam.

Uh-

Leonard family meeting will now come to order!

Hank Leonard. - Here.

Jill Leonard. - OK, we are clearly all here-

Jill Leonard.

Here.

Sam Leonard.

Are-Are you kidding? You know I'm here-

Sam Leonard. - OK.

You know what? Here.

You know the meeting rules...

nothing but the truth.

Now, why have you been lying?

You guys have no idea how hard it is out there.

I'm down in the trenches every day...

trying to make people actually like me.

A- A-And do you know how embarrassing it is...

having my entire family drop me off at school...

in that piece-of-crap car...

kissing and hugging you like some sort of baby?

Do you?

Well, Sam, w-what can we do to help?

Nothing!

Uh, look, Sam...

Baby, if you could just explain to us why you lied.

Because lying works.

People actually like me when I lie.

No, Sam, you have got to be yourself!

People will love you-

Oh, Dad, cut it, that's the biggest lie of all.

Being yourself works great if you're actually great...

but what if you're a massive loser like me?

OK, that is it!

No more lying, end of story!

No! Not end of story!

My life sucks and lying is the only thing that makes it better.

That's why I lied today...

and that's why I'm gonna lie tomorrow...

and that's why there's nothing anyone can do to stop me!

Oh!

Oh, that's great. That's really just great!

What are you-

Let go!

Just-Look, just gimme the-

. I've spent my whole life surrounded.

. And I've spent my whole life alone.

. I wonder why I never wonder why.

. The easiest things are so hard.

. Oh, something.

. Something for nothing.

. Oh, something.

. Something for nothing.

Good morning, Sam! How you doin', fella?

What the hell's that supposed to mean?

Well, I was just wondering how you're getting along.

You know what, Marcus?

I don't need you wondering about me anymore, OK?

I can wonder just fine myself, thank you.

Y- You all right, Sam?

Keep it up and find out.

Annie, there is something really wrong with me.

You just figured that out?

No, I'm serious.

Morning, readers. - Hey, Mrs. Moran.

I don't know what it is, OK?

All I know is that something really freaky is going on.

Hi, Samuel.

Oh, uh-hi...

Mrs. Moran.

Ahem.

All right, before we get started today...

I'd like to know who you're partnered up with...

for our Shakespeare project, so, uh, Kevin-

Uh, I'm with Paul.

Alexis? - Ashley.

Mm-hmm.

Samuel?

Oh, Annie.

Oh.

Right. In Shakespeare's Othello...

who can tell me what is the core irony of lago?

Annie.

The core irony of lago...

is that he's viewed by everyone in the play...

as a moral and trustworthy individual...

of the highest order.

But his true character is that of an immoral liar...

who manipulates everyone...

in the name of bettering his personal circumstances.

No! Wrong.

Samuel?

I- I-I don't know.

But I think some pretty bad stuff happens.

Ha ha ha.

That is exactly right.

The core irony of Shakespeare's Othello...

is, as Samuel so eloquently points out to us...

some pretty bad stuff does happen.

Thank you, Samuel.

What is this?

My homework.

It's five-sixteenths of your homework.

Look, Mr. Von Der Ahe, I swear...

I could do this stuff in my sleep.

In that case you'll have no difficulty...

in solving the problem on the board.

All right.

What?

First let's take the square of, I think, right here.

Addition it.

Over 2.

Do you have the answer, Sam?

It's unsolvable.

Can't be done.

Ha ha ha.

Hey, good workout, buddy, killer stuff.

Holy Jesus!

Is that thing real?

Dude, it's like a firehose!

Oh, no, no, it's thicker. It's like... bridge cable.

. Hoo hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo.

. hoo hoo.

. Well, it's mine.

. And I'm happy.

. I can't help it it's just me.

. If you're wondering what happened.

. That's keepin' me laughin'.

. Just you look and you can see.

. It doesn't matter what they think.

. Doesn't matter what they say.

. Doesn't matter 'cause I'm happy now.

. If you think at any time that they listened to me.

. They'd see.

. I'm happy 'cause I'm me-e-e.

. I'm happy.

. I can't help it, it's just me.

. If you're wonderin' what happened that's keepin' me laughin'.

. Just look and you will see.

Annie.

Not even a passing glance at their table...

are you feeling OK?

Yes...

I...

am. - Oh.

I just hit puberty.

Overnight? - N-Yes!

You've gotta check it out, it's the most beautiful thing...

I've ever seen.

I even had to adjust it.

I think you're gonna have to adjust your medication...

because it's obviously way too low.

I'm serious. I-I don't know what's going on...

but something really freaky is happening.

Hello.

How are you today, Sam?

Sam?

Uh-

Fine.

I was just wondering if you were...

Uh...

Hello.

Oh, I didn't even see you there.

So, I'm organizing Homecoming this year...

and I'm just trying to figure out who's coming.

I'd rather be flogged with wet bamboo.

Oh.

What about you, Sam?

Sam?

Uh-

I am so...

going to Homecoming.

Fantastic...

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