Full Of It Page #4

---

because I think this could be the best Homecoming ever.

I too think this could be the best Homecoming ever...

Vicki Sanders.

You've gotta be kidding me.

I mean...

Who knows what could happen there?

Well...

goodbye...

Sam.

I told you something was happening.

Ha ha, OK, that was a little weird.

It's been happening all day.

Almost cold-cocking Principal Hayes...

Mrs. Moran flirting with me... - Don't forget your...

Mm. So funny you should remember that.

You were so proud of it.

Oh, my God.

What? What's wrong?

All my lies are coming true.

You're about to fly off the planet, man.

No, no, seriously, think about it.

Each and every one of those things, I lied about.

The broken mirror.

OK, Sam, your lies are not magically...

coming true overnight.

It's just a big series of coincidences, OK?

I promise. - Jesus had his doubters too.

Wow, OK, um...

that's my cue, I gotta go.

Or maybe something magical...

clashes with your jaded, cynical view of the world.

Are you just saying all this...

to get out of writing the Othello paper?

No, I'm gonna do it.

OK, so, um...

let's meet in 2 hours in the library.

OK.

I'll see you at 6.

In the library.

Don't let me down.

Ahem. - Oh, hey.

Are you and that girl from lunch dating?

Uh-no, uh, no.

Good.

Ahem, look, I'm way hungry.

Do you wanna go get something to eat?

I- I'd like to...

Really, but-

I- I'm supposed to meet Annie some time soon...

in the... library...

to work on a project.

Well...

are you sure that you can't join me?

Um. - Hm?

No.

Good.

Let's go. Heh.

OK, I have like the ugliest nose...

in the world.

You're crazy, it's-it's beautiful.

Aww. That's sweet.

Look, I have to get going.

Have to meet Kyle.

But I'm having a party at my house this weekend.

Do you think you might be able to make it?

Yeah! I-

I- I mean...

Yeah, sounds-sounds phat.

Cool.

. Going to a party...

. Going to-.

What the-

Sally Berkeley.

Woman as landscape.

Heady, Jill, heady.

But this begs the question...

are the legs opening or closing...

on the female experience?

It's very third rate.

Aw, is this- is that a woman's-

Oh! Mom! Mom!

What's going on here?

Impromptu art jam, Sam.

I had to show some friends my latest work. Self Portrait In Pink!

Oh! Oh, God! OK.

Oh, God. All right.

Childhood trauma. Childhood trauma. Childhood trauma.

Don't mind us, sweetie. Just grab yourself a latte and a scone.

Childhood trauma. Childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma. Childhood trauma.

Oh! Oh!

OK. Childhood trauma. Childhood trauma. Childhood trauma.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

More of my lies are coming true.

My mom paints female...

you know.

Female private parts now.

And why would you lie about that?

I didn't. I lied about her being...

an avant-garde artist and now our house...

is some sort of installation art piece.

Look, Annie, that's why I'm calling.

What other lies have I told?

Well, let's see. Here's one-

"I'll meet you in the library at two o'clock, Annie. "

I'm sorry.

But, uh, the guidance counselor...

called me in for like a really important meeting.

Sam, I've met the guidance counselor.

Oh, look, Annie, I'm super sorry I flaked on you.

Well, sorry doesn't write our paper by tomorrow.

It's not gonna be a problem. I'll do it.

All by myself, OK? I promise.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Get-Gimme-

Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Gimme that homework.

No!

Gimme the homework! Gimme!

Ugh!

Si, si. Ciao. - Mom?

A critic saw one of my pieces...

at the community center...

told his friends.

And when you get traction in the art world...

you've gotta leverage it.

I... guess.

Look, Mom, do you think you could help me with something?

Love to, but my agent wants me in Gstaad for an opening...

so, uh, perhaps when I get back.

Sure.

Uh, well, then, do you know if Dad's around?

I- I just really need to talk to somebody.

There's some pretty weird stuff going on.

Oh-

Oh, my God.

Dad, what are you wearing?

I just got in from my gig.

What gig?

Man, this comeback tour's way harder than I expected it to be.

Ah.

So you're in Poison.

Was in Poison, son. Was.

But, ah, this solo gig is gonna put me...

right back up on the top again. Whoo!

Ow.

God, you smell like Pabst Blue Ribbon.

That's a compliment coming from Vincent Van Beaver over there.

It's art, Hank.

Maybe to a gynecologist.

I have to get to the airport.

Are you sober enough to drive Sam to school?

I doubt it. He can drive himself.

What?

Yeah, I really gotta hit the rack.

Just try and keep her under 100, huh, Sambo?

Under 100?

Sambo?

Ugh!

Dad?

Mom?

. Well, I'm a weapon of mass destruction.

. Got no apologies for a hyper concussion...

I may not die a virgin after all.

. Take your love and turn it into obscenity.

. You say that I don't care about.

. All the little things that you care about.

. All the-.

. I don't care about.

. All the little things that make you wanna shout.

. Ah, me me me me, is all you say that I care about.

. Me me me me, is all I ever wanna talk about.

. Me me me me, is what you think that I care about.

. Me me me me, is all I really wanna-.

That is a gorgeous car you have there, Sam.

. And all the kids on the street.

. They think I'm neat neat neat neat neat.

Did you finish the paper?

You've got to be kidding me.

Look, when it's your life you're messing up, that's fine...

but don't bring me down with you.

Look, I'm sorry, OK?

I'll make it up to you, I promise.

How? She's gonna give us an F on the paper, Sam.

Maybe not.

Hey. - Hey.

So, uh...

you're never gonna believe this, but...

my-my dog ate my paper.

And-and it-it's kinda hard to read...

but if you still want it-

I definitely still want it.

OK.

Looks like you have a very bad dog, Samuel.

Did you spank her like a naughty b*tch?

Because she sounds like a naughty b*tch.

We-We, uh-W- We discip-discipline her sometimes.

Oh. Well, it looks like you need to discipline her harder.

Wow.

OK? Well, uh-

OK. Thank you so much...

for being so cool about that.

I'm just gonna go back to my seat now.

I have a feeling we're gonna do great on this paper.

Henderson sucks! Henderson sucks!

Defense. Defense, that's your man!

What is that?

Henderson sucks!

I got it!

What? No, ref! - 15 green, halt.

Come on! - That's 5, Coach.

Hey, hey, hey! - Come on!

That's 5. You're done, son. - No!

What? What? What? - Hey, hey, hey, hey...

you gotta sit down. - No, ref!

That's 5 fouls, Kyle. He says you gotta sit.

What?!

Coach, you need a replacement.

I don't got anybody else. They're all fouled out.

What about the little guy over there?

How about we play with 4? - 5 or you forfeit.

Fine.

Leonard, you're in.

What?

You're in.

Ha...

I'm open, I'm open!

I'm open!

I'm open!

What's going on?

That's our basket, douchebag!

Just stay the hell back here...

and try not to touch the ball.

You suck!

Come on!

I got it, I got it.

Yeah! Yeah!

OK, let's run that play again.

. I wanna check into the paris Hilton.

Rate this script:1.0 / 1 vote