Funeral in Berlin Page #3

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- Tonight?

- I'm calling that Russian's bluff.

He won't be there, and then perhaps

Ross will stop wasting my time.

- Where shall I tell him to meet you?

- I know.

There's been a hitch.

It's off for tonight.

- Off?

- Sorry.

It was a trick! You do not believe me.

You dare to play games?

- You can get us both killed!

- I didn't think you'd show up.

It does not matter what you think.

Your Colonel Ross will decide.

Goodnight.

Admit I scared you, Russian.

The pigeons never come, do they, sir?

God preserve us from halfwits!

Stok should have sent you to Siberia.

If he hadn't turned up, we

would have saved 20,000.

Yes...

I've read your T105. Entertaining,

but slightly pornographic.

The fact you pick up a girl

doesn't make her a spy.

It was she who picked me up, sir.

You have to say that to get it

on expenses, don't you?

- There is something else.

- What is it?

That 800 loan without interest

to buy my own car.

- Yes.

- Yes, I want it or yes, I can have it?

Yes, what they say about you is true.

Get out of here. Go back to Berlin.

I don't care much for Berlin, sir.

- You're liable to get shot.

- That's what you're paid for, isn't it?

Yes, sir.

If you're worried, send Babcock in

with a chit for a pistol.

Oh, thank you very much, sir.

Babcock...

he wants an armory chit.

If he thinks I need a pistol,

I need a coffin!

I'll be glad to give you one.

Who is Samantha Steel?

T105s are confidential. Haven't you read

the Official Secrets Act?

- How was the weather in Berlin?

- Cold. I can make it tonight.

Not tonight you can't, you're

going back to Berlin at 11:00.

- Good morning, Alice. 11:00?

- Yes. Tickets...expenses...

$60,000...

for which you have to sign, Mr. Palmer.

- They're working on your photos.

- And my request for documents?

Passed to H.O. Hallam will

see you in 20 minutes.

Right. Thank you, Chico.

Come in.

- Hallam?

- Ah, Rock Hunter! Come in, dear boy.

Here we are, Special Import Licenses.

We call all document requests

Special Import Licenses.

- Very quaint.

- I'm very proud of these.

Very hush-hush. They match

your German's list to a T.

He's very lucky. It wasn't easy.

I...I seem to have run short of cigarettes.

- Do you want a French one?

- No. Never mind.

Well, where were we...?

Birth certificate of one Paul Louis Broum.

Inoculation for smallpox.

Do you read German?

- No, but I do have a plane to catch.

- I know you have a plane to catch.

Certificate of graduation,

commission in the army...

Ah, death certificate.

We won't need that.

- Now, shall we resurrect him?

- How long will that take?

Patience, dear boy.

To this dead Mr. Broum we add one

British passport, naturalized.

Your client will know how to add

the photo and stamp.

One driver's license, endorsed. One

insurance policy with receipt.

Diners Club credit card, current.

And what have we got?

- A new Broum?

- Quite correct.

Signature, please.

- Rock...Hunter...

- Oh, another little joke.

Yes. Good day.

Passengers for British European Airways

flight 684 to Berlin

may now board the coach through gate 6.

You smoke too much, Chico.

- Come into my office.

- Bloody things are still wet.

Your burglar photographed everything.

That's why I took so long.

Now, these are her passports:

Israeli, Austrian, American.

Photostats of everything

in her safe, and her diary.

Thank you, Round Robin.

How come you've picked Paul

Louis Broum's documents?

- What an extraordinary question.

- I said, how come?

I started at capital A,

then capital A small a,

and then Ab, and then Ac. I went on

until I found what you needed.

Sometimes we start at Z and work

backwards, just for fun.

Are you sure this fellow's dead?

Dead? Of course he's dead. His

death certificate says so.

Sometimes we start with Z and work

backwards, just for fun...

Oh, what a lovely surprise. I thought

you were still in London.

- I have a surprise for you, too.

- Oh, am I glad you're back.

It's in here.

A present?

- Pearls?

- To replace the ones that were stolen.

- Are they real?

- They cost a fortune.

Well, I'll take better care of these.

By the way, darling...

Did your burglar find anything in my flat?

Nothing much. Did yours find

anything in mine?

- Yes.

- Oh?

Your stuff was too innocuous.

It was too good to be true.

I'll have to put that in my next report.

What's your interest in Paul Louis Broum?

None at all. Who is he?

- He's on our wanted list.

- Whose wanted list?

- Israeli Intelligence.

- Why is that?

Because soon, German war criminals

will no longer have to face trial.

- Broum is dead.

- Dead Nazis keep re-emerging!

I see, it's the old eye for an eye bit.

No. There's a lot of cash in Switzerland

that they stole from the Jews.

Israel is morally and legally

entitled to that money.

If we can stop people like Broum

getting there first,

the Swiss have agreed to hand it over!

So you turn out to be a dedicated Zionist!

- A fanatic.

- Yes, you're absolutely right.

- Will you give me those documents?

- No.

- What do you want them for?

- Forget it, I can't give them to you.

- Why not?

- I came here to do a job.

- I hope you're proud of it!

- It's a living.

Your rotten job and lousy few pounds a week,

that's all you care about!

I'm explaining all this because I think

I'm in love with you.

But there are more important things

than my personal feelings.

Those Broum documents represent

over $2,000,000 to us.

We want that money. We mean

to get those papers,

even if we have to kill you for them!

Now, get out!

Oh, by the way, is old

Klaus Berger still alive?

- The forger?

- Yeah, the forger.

I'd like to run you out of Berlin, Palmer.

You and Ml5 and the Deuxime Bureau

and the CIA and the rest of them.

Then I can do my job, not provide work

for forgers, thieves and murderers.

I agree, I agree, but is

old man Klaus still alive?

The money?

And the documents?

You get those with the second payment,

on delivery of my client.

As you wish.

- Is your client still in Dresden?

- No, we moved him to East Berlin.

- Ready to move at short notice?

- Yes.

But I must have approval

of the details of your plan.

- That's our business.

- It's our money.

Meet me here tomorrow, same time,

up on the roof.

We've got what we wanted.

The operation has begun.

- Begun? My client hasn't approved.

- He will.

My plans never fail, and I

personally will supervise.

I shall be there from start to finish.

- It starts in the East.

- And I'll be there.

- You can go to East Berlin?

- It's only forbidden to West Berliners.

I'm not a Berliner. I'm a West German.

What's your client's name?

That's our business.

Contact your client and tell him to

exactly follow these instructions.

- Ross agreed.

- Of course!

- You move tomorrow.

- You are joking again, English.

- Not this time.

- Who is doing the job?

Kreutzman.

If there is a mistake, the Grepos

will be shooting at me.

That'll be nice. You'll find out what

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