Funeral Kings Page #5

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We're going to a party

next week!

Are you shitting me?

Did you get her number?

No...

Dude, don't be a p*ssy.

I can't just like,

ask her for her number.

How are you going to call her

later?

Sh*t.

Alright, yeah... I guess.

Yo, where's Andy?

We're leaving.

He's talking to some girls... I've gotta go

over there in a second and say that he's cool.

You know I can't be

everywhere at once...

Yo I'm serious! Leave the b*tches.

We're going!

Charlie, what the f***, man!

I was mackin' it hard

with those chicks!

Yo, Charlie!

Charlie!

Oh my god.

Yo Charlie!

Hello?!

Chaarlie?!

Forget it, man.

Let's go back inside.

Why'd you do it, Charlie?

Shut the f*** up, Dave.

Seriously, shut the f*** up.

You realize

how screwed we are, right?

Nobody knows who we are.

It's fine.

Yeah, Charlie.

But they saw

a bunch of middle school kids.

So you know

where the cops'll go?

They'll go straight

to the middle school, Charlie!

And you'll be sitting there

like a f***ing idiot!

It's not my fault!

Oh okay, who threw a brick

through a f***ing car window?

You sent me back in there! And there she

is making out with that f***ing creep!

Who was?

Oh Please!

Like you even had a chance.

You wouldn't even know what to do

even if you did!

Stop acting like you know more

than me!

I saw that girl you made out with at camp,

she had a f***in' mustache!

F*** you! You look like your 10 years-old.

Stop kidding yourself!

You boys have fun?

Yo!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What's it look like?

Just f***in' wait a minute.

The f***ing cops

broke up the party.

But not before I rounded second base

with a sophmore!

What the f***, man!

Charlie totally screwed me!

So I was mackin' it

with this chick, right?

She was totally digging me,

Laughing at all my jokes

and stuff...

And then Charlie comes in,

and practically drags me out of the place.

He f***ed it all up!

Dave! Get the f***ing dog

out of the house!

Sorry...

You should have seen Dave, man.

Humiliating...

Why'd Charlie cock-block you?

He was crying because he didn't

get with Lindsey Prescott.

Amanda Prescott's little

sister? Give me a break!

Yeah! So he bolted out of the

house

and threw a rock, through a

f***in' car window!

That was you guys?! The cops

were all over that place!

Do you know who's car that was?

Yeah, Ryan Sullivan.

That dude's going to kill him.

I don't know, man.

When Ryan came out,

he made a huge scene.

The cops tried

to calm him down,

and a bag of pills

fell out of his pocket.

What?

Yeah, man.

That kid's totally f***ed.

No dude!

It was bullshit.

They thought I stole

some b*tch's credit card.

Did you?

No.

It was my buddy, Rick.

And he didn't steal it,

he found it.

How much did he spend?

I don't know, like three grand?

And my parents let the cops in my

house to search for everything!

They f***ing helped raid my room.

It was ridiculous!

That's bullshit.

Yeah, whatever. I mean I got

everything out of my room

before anybody noticed.

Hey, Andy hasn't talked to you

about anything lately has he?

No... why?

I've got to talk to him

about that.

Hey you got any cigarettes?

Uh, yeah.

I've got two left.

Listen, man.

I might be in trouble...

Hm?

I might be in some trouble...

Yeah, this kid f***ed me over like a week ago,

and sold me an empty box of cigarettes, so I-

Of course he did, man.

You're a push over.

No man, I-

It's my mom.

I've gotta jet.

When are you

coming back to school?

I'm 16.

I'm not coming back.

I doubt it, man. They didn't seem

real worried about the window

when they found out

about the drugs.

Yeah, hopefully.

You know, they probably got those

pills from the video store.

Yeah, I was telling Charlie, that place

is probably like a drug cover.

It is a drug cover.

Yeah, I know, right?

No, I mean Charlie and I

saw the drugs.

He didn't tell you?

What are you talking about?

We saw them dealing drugs

when we were stealing the

bullets for the gun.

You stole bullets

from that guy?!

Hell yeah! But Charlie was too freaked out

to shoot it afterwards.

That's bullshit, it's my gun!

I thought it was Charlie's...

Where are the bullets now?

I've got them.

You want to shoot it?

I don't know, man.

Let's shoot it!

It's your gun!

Yeah, that's not really

a good idea.

What makes you think that Charlie's

not shooting it right now?

It's your gun,

go get it from him!

Charlie's got the gun?!

Charlie! Charlie!

Look, man...

I'm really sorry about-

Dude, give me my gun!

- Keep it down!

- Where is it?!

What are you

going to do with it?

We're gonna shoot it!

I don't know if that's

such a good idea, Andy...

I don't care what you think,

go get my gun!

Jesus, alright.

Where are we going?

You're not coming!

Why not?

'Cause it's my gun.

Well they're my bullets!

You should've just stayed on

set that day

and just waited for her to

take off her top.

They wouldn't have let me watch.

- I was only 12.

- You were in the movie!

They would've had to let you

stick around!

Listen, I've gone along with a lot

of things you guys want to do,

even when they seem

like a bad idea-

Dave!

Relax, it's gonna be fine!

Let me shoot it first.

My uncle used to take me to

the firing range all the time.

I'm a crack marksman.

I'm shooting it first.

Don't people jog in these woods

and go horseback riding and stuff?

Why don't you go home if you're

so f***in' scared, kid?

Come on, man.

Let me shoot it once.

No, man. Back off!

Alright, here we go.

One...

Two...

Three!

You've gotta cock it, man.

Alright, I got it, man.

I got it.

Sh*t, that was awesome.

Give it to me!

I thought

you were a crack marksman.

Shut up!

Whoa! Haha!

That was awesome, man!

Let me try!

Yeah! First shot!

What?

Dave, put a can on your head.

No way!

I'm serious...

Come on, man! It'll be harder

if you're moving!

Charlie! Stop!

Alright, alright,

I'm just f***in' around.

Watch it!

Why didn't you catch it?!

You don't throw

a loaded gun at someone!

Jesus Christ!

Holy sh*t.

Maybe we should

check its pulse.

It's dead, man.

- We should bail.

- Someone check its pulse!

We gotta get the f*** out of here!

What if a ranger comes by?

We can't just leave it here!

We've got to bury it.

- No, man!

- Before it gets dark.

We can't bury it

under the fort, dude.

That's messed up.

F*** this sh*t!

Felix. Felix!

This is far enough!

Just a little farther.

Come on, man.

This is fine.

Alright.

Go get the shovels.

Just let me catch my breath.

Dave...

Don't pet the dog, it's dead.

- Holy sh*t!

- He's alive!

We've got to take him to a vet!

What, are you crazy?!

We can't take a dog with a

bullet wound to the f***in' vet!

What else are we gonna do?

I don't know

how to stitch up a dog.

They don't just stitch up

dogs with bullet wounds, man.

They just bring it around back

and put it to sleep.

Maybe I should call my mom.

No! No one's calling anyone!

We can't just go

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