Funky Monkey Page #6

I only did it for the uniform

because I thought you'd like me better.

Are you mad?

No, I'm not mad.

-You did all that just to impress me?

-Yeah.

Cool.

Okay, guys, we're gonna

try something a little different.

Nathan, get your head back

in the game, man.

You lost that girl to the geek

fair and square.

/St. Francis calls a timeout.

I detest festivities.

I don't see the chimp.

You find the kid...

...we'll find the chimp.

-Let Dean play, coach.

-Get away from me.

We've been working on this

new play, and it'll work.

Trust me, he's good.

It's gonna work.

What the hell do I got to lose?

Michael, let's go.

-Clemens, I'm in.

-Let's go!

-You stay.

-Come on!

-I won't let you down, coach.

-Let's go.

/And now, playing for St. Francis,

that's number 32, Michael Dean.

Hey.

There he is.

-Get him.

-How do we get close...

-...in front of all these people?

-Follow me, gentlemen.

I have an idea.

Okay, this is gonna be a 48 toss.

-This means to you, Michael. So on two.

-Really?

-All right, ready. Break!

-Break!

This is ridiculous. I mean, this is....

It's ridiculous.

Red 17, red 17! Hut, hut!

Come on, Michael.

/What a play! St. Francis makes

a first down.

Playing with the big boys now,

String Dean.

-You okay, Dean?

-Yeah.

Good. So we' re gonna try the same play.

Okay?

-Okay.

-Good.

/Looks like we got some

substitutions for St. Dominic 's.

-Who are those guys?

/-Who are those guys?

-Who are those guys?

-Hut!

Attack.

/Another nice gain by Michael Dean.

Come here. I wanna have

a little word with you.

-Let me go!

-Listen to me. You give me my monkey.

-Now!

-Clemens! Help!

Holy smokes!

There's a monkey on the field.

There's a monkey on the field.

Get off the field!

Get it! It's mine!

-Ref, who are these guys?

-Yeah?

Foreign exchange students, I think.

Get him! Yeah! Hit him, hit him!

That can't be legal, there. I don't think.

Break it up. Break it up. Come on.

Now, playing for St. Francis...

...Clemens.

Clemens, run!

Yeah!

Touchdown!

Yeah! Attaboy, Clemens!

Who's the man?

Oh, a heck of a run.

Clemens scores for St. Francis.

-ls that legal?

-I don't know.

I don't know if anybody

ever thought...

...to write a rule against chimps

playing football.

-Got it.

/-Oh, St. Dom 's intercepts.

Clemens, stop him!

I got the ball. I got the ball.

/What a stop by Clemens.

/Unbelievable pick by Clemens.

That's a touchdown!

/St. Francis ties the game, 14- 14.

I taught him that.

Right on, Clemens!

Clemens kicks a field goal for three

points. What a leg on that little simian.

I' m open! I' m open!

I'm open!

Yeah. Yeah.

/St. Dom 's scores another touchdown.

Shut up!

You don't know me.

You don't know me.

-Sir, what about the chimp?

-Who cares. We're winning the game.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

These guys look too old

to be in high school.

Do me a favor.

Take this to the sound booth.

Get them to play it on the big screen

at the end of the game.

-Where are you going?

-T o even the odds.

/Less than a minute left on the clock,

St. Dom 's is going for a field goal.

/St. Francis doesn 't have much hope

of winning this one, folks.

Did you see that?

Clemens!

Michael, Michael....

Go, Michael!

Go, Michael!

Stop that monkey boy!

T ackle him!

/He has the ball. Look at this kid run.

/He 's unstoppable. He 's at the 30.

He 's still on his feet.

/He 's at the 20. Ladies and gentlemen,

he 's at the 10. He could go all the way!

/Yes! Touchdown!

/Touchdown! St. Francis wins!

T ouchdown!

Oh, thank you. St. Francis wins.

You did it, Michael! You did it.

Attaboy, Michael!

You lost the chimp...

...now you lost the game!

I don't wanna hear it.

Talk to the imbecile.

-What's with that call?

-Out of bounds!

-Are you watching the same game?

-I was watching!

/--marching two by two.

/We'll have these animals marching

to war.

/Simian soldiers are easily replaced

if damaged or injured.

/And if caught, they will not squeal,

even under the most severe torture.

That's so mean.

/That's because...

/... they can 't talk.

Freaking awesome.

/And the best part is they do all of this

dangerous work for mere...

/...produce.

Hey, look, everyone!

It's the bald guy in the video!

It's not me.

It doesn't even resemble me.

-He's the mastermind.

-" Mastermind"? I don't even look evil.

He's lying. His ears wiggle when he lies.

You're lying!

I said not to bring in the Chows.

We did it, Clemens.

-Here come the cops. Act like a kid.

-Ears, they're wiggling!

Guys, guys, cool it.

These are the culprits.

You'll find a laboratory

of stolen animals at that address.

-Hands behind your back.

-I hope you enjoy your new cage, Flick.

Monkey messiah!

-Animal lover!

-Sure showed them, huh?

-Peters.

-Yeah, right.

Hey, guys, wait up!

Shotgun!

I knew you'd stay.

Who said anything about staying?

I didn't.

Michael, you were awesome.

He was awesome, wasn't he?

He sure was.

So where are you going to next?

I think I have to stick around for a while.

See, I got this beautiful landlord

who's got me locked into a lease.

Sounds rough.

This isn't fair.

What the heck, man? I'm the star

quarterback and Dean gets kissed?

What?

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