Funky Monkey Page #5

-Oh, thanks, guys. Come on, Clemens.

Christina.

Sucker.

Christina? This place is

kind of scary, Clemens.

Cool.

Help, Clemens! No!

What do you want?

-Clemens, help!

-Like a banana?

Let me go. Let me out of here.

Clemens!

Let go.

Thanks. Let's get out of here.

I think we lost them.

Clemens, help. Pull harder! Let me go.

Check it out, the Chows.

Hey, wanna help them out?

No. If the Chows fail,

we get to keep our jobs.

Hey, that's Michael.

Cool, man. I didn't know

Dean knew kung fu.

So what? Anyone can do that.

Clemens, help! Let go of me!

Get him off me, hurry!

You outdid yourself this year, Megan.

Come on, this way. Hurry.

Trick or treat.

Oh, that was a beautiful--

Oh, that's an unhappy clown.

Chow sandwich. Who's hungry?

Hi.

I can't believe it. The three of you

should be ashamed of yourselves.

I'm sure this is one Halloween

show they'll never forget.

Right. Everyone loved it,

so there's no need to be upset.

Really, Michael? I can think

of three good reasons.

First, you could have been killed.

Second, there's a gorilla

living in my guesthouse.

Chimpanzee, actually.

Gorillas are hairier and bigger.

Never mind.

And third, the other parents will expect

me to top this show next year.

-But, Mom, l--

-And you. You.

-Oh, yeah. This is all your fault.

-No, Mom--

You're right. It was me, Megan.

And I'm sorry.

It was stupid and careless of me.

We should go.

No. Don't go.

Mom, it was all my fault.

-No, it wasn't. I twisted his arm.

-No, you didn't. I told her--

-Yes, I did.

-I told you--

Okay, okay. Okay.

No one's going anywhere.

You know, I don't appreciate being

lied to, but under the circumstances...

...I guess I understand.

You have just climbed immeasurably

on my coolness chart.

On Clemens' too.

I taught him that.

He's a natural flirt, you know.

I cracked into your computer last night,

and this chimp is in some real danger.

You should take a look at this.

So it's on the hard drive,

and I burned you a CD as well.

/Are you safe? Do you feel protected,

secure, on your own country's soil?

/If not, meet the new perfect soldier

for the new millennium.

/Through intense training

and miracle of genetic science...

/... we have created these new

super-simian soldiers.

/Noah had these animals marching

two by two.

/We 'll have these animals marching

to war.

/So you place your order now for Flick 's

new simian soldiers. Before it's too late.

I can't believe I worked for that nut.

-Hey.

-Watch it.

-Y eah, l' m finished.

-Hello.

-Kind of sexy, huh?

-I hope l' m not disturbing you.

Mr. Flick. How do you like the mermaid?

We're running out of time.

Where's the chimp, you imbeciles?

I wouldn't worry. We have

something planned for tonight.

Oh, really? Let me guess.

Is it a all-you-can-eat...

-...buffalo-wing night at Hooters?

-No, but, wow, that would be great.

Hey, stay. Sir. It's the homecoming

game, everyone's gonna be there.

McCall, Michael, the monkey.

You want me to get them

in a stadium full of people.

-Pretty clever.

-Well....

-Thank you, sir.

-I prefer something a little smarter...

...Iike getting them now!

I will bail the Chows out of jail.

-I will get the chimp myself.

-The chimp's beaten the Chows before.

-He's pretty tough.

-I'll handle the chimp.

Make yourself useful

and get back to the laboratory now.

-Preferably dressed.

-Yes, sir.

Gotcha!

The computer is not here.

McCall must have the files with him.

Get the monkey back to the lab.

The spray only lasts two hours.

Clemens, I'm home.

What did you do to him?

A little insurance.

Clemens?

Michael....

Here comes the doctor now.

Welcome. Welcome to my laboratory,

gentlemen. I'm Dr. Spleen.

I didn't get the invitation saying

"black suit only. " I'm so embarrassed.

Anyway, it's nice. It's very slimming.

I guess we're gonna start off

with breast implants...

...then a complete body-waxing,

because it is bikini season.

Doctor, please!

Do the procedure now.

-Okay, Daddy Warbucks.

-Triple the dose of the stimulant.

When you're in there, erase any memory

that monkey may have...

...of McCall or the child.

No!

Leave him alone! Don't hurt him!

Take this child out of here and lock

him up with the rest of them. Now.

-He kicked me!

-Let go of me! Stop! Clemens!

Wish I had a weapon.

First down.

-Clemens.

-McCall!

Michael?

-Michael. Are you all right?

-Yeah.

They've got Clemens inside.

They're about to operate on him.

We gotta save him.

-The light switch is behind you.

-Right.

Thanks.

-Come on. Let's go get Clemens.

-Wait, wait. We need a plan.

We can't just rush in.

How many guys do they have?

Five or six, maybe more.

We don't need a plan, we need an army.

I think we have one.

All right. We're gonna start

the operation on the chimp.

Do you like being called "chimp" or

"primate"? I don't wanna be offensive.

-What is that?

-Chows! Don't stand there like idiots...

...do something now. Now.

Chows....

Monkeys, attack!

McCall! Finish him off now.

You break it, you bought it!

Yes!

Hey, pal, how are you?

-Let's get you out of here.

-Stop that monkey boy!

Exactly what did you do

to piss this guy off?

-McCall, I got Clemens. Let's go!

-Yeah, let's--

Yeah, let's get out of here.

Get your stinking paws off me...

...you damn dirty ape!

/Block that kick! Block that kick!

/At the start of the third quarter,

St. Dom 's has taken a 14-0 lead.

St. Francis is gonna need a miracle

to catch up.

Come on, guys, it's only the second half.

We' re not coming, kid.

What are you talking about?

We gotta keep moving.

It's only a matter of time

before Flick shows up again.

And you'll beat him again.

Look, kid...

...I don't think you know who I am.

I mean, I don't stay in one place.

I don't settle down. I--

I don't get attached.

I guess I'm not the guy you think I am.

But you guys can't just leave.

Where are you going to go?

Another city? And then another one?

No friends and no family?

That's no kind of life.

You and Clemens could stay here.

With me.

I'm sorry, kid.

Don't feel sorry for me.

Feel sorry for yourself, McCall.

What are you looking at?

Where are you going?

Clemens! Get back in the truck!

Clemens, you're back.

Great. Come on. We can use you.

/Let's go, Friars, let's go.

/Let's go, Friars, let's go.

/St. Francis has their work cut out

for them.

/They start this drive

in their own territory.

-Excuse me.

-Hey.

-What happened? I was getting worried.

-You wouldn't believe it if I told you.

-Where's Michael?

-He should be here.... There.

There he is.

/That's gotta hurt. St. Francis loses

-Put me in for him, coach.

-Go sit down. Go sit down, Michael.

Thank you.

Clemens, coach is never gonna

let me play.

I better go tell Christina the truth.

-Christina?

-Michael.

Hey, where were you

during the first half?

Listen, Christina, there's something

I have to tell you.

I'm not really on the football team.

I'm their tutor.

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