Funny About Love Page #6

Well, I don't know, I like her.

You and Meg. Meg liked her, too.

It sounds like I would've liked Meg.

You would have.

You never told me why you broke up.

That's a long, and I don't know

if it's so interesting, story.

Then make it interesting.

First, Meg wanted to have a baby.

We couldn't do it. We tried everything,

but it didn't work out.

Then my mother died. All of a sudden,

I wanted to have a baby.

Not that we could have

had one then either,

but all I could think about

was having a baby.

That's when we broke up.

I didn't realise

what was really important then.

Ugh, who made this?

- Did you make this?

- Rod the houseboy made it.

- What's the matter with it?

- It's so strong.

And you forgot the cinnamon. Good

cappuccino has a chocolatey flavour.

Chocolatey?

Yeah. I don't know

how you can drink this sh*t.

Did you brush your teeth and say

your prayers yet? Go upstairs and do it.

- How did you get these seats?

- I humped a couple of affiliates.

- It was worth it. What a birthday!

- There's more.

The Knicks and Madison Square

Garden thank you for attending.

Duffy!

I'm going upstate now.

- Daphne, are you looking for me?

- Yeah.

- Great game!

- Thank you.

- Meet my friend, Duffy Bergman.

- Hi.

How do you do? This is the best

birthday present I could imagine.

- One more surprise to go. Patrick?

- Daphne's pregnant.

You're kidding. This is incredible!

I didn't even know

you were seeing each other!

- It's yours, dummy.

- Even better!

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

I owe you one.

I've been thinking.

When this one's born,

and I think it's a girl,

who we should name Lilith,

which I saw in Delta Of Venus

by Anas Nin.

We should have another one right away,

get through the nursery phase

of our lives and into the good stuff.

Maybe I should take that job in LA.

It's a great place to raise kids.

That means private schools.

The public school system there sucks.

That means Hollywood for you,

but how terrible could that be?

It's great money,

and how badly could they treat you?

Anyway,

you could do the strip anywhere.

All of which is just a prelude

to the ranch near Jackson Hole,

where we can all just kick back

and watch the leaves turn

and watch the snow fall.

You can write another musical,

and I can...

- What can I do?

- Make plans.

- Good.

- Let's swing it around first.

Keep it coming.

All right, we can take it up.

Duffy, there's a problem.

- Hold it, Charlie.

- Something's wrong.

Don't worry.

We're going to take care of it.

Don't get scared.

Don't get scared. I'm going to make it

all go away. Don't you worry.

Don't cry.

- Is she OK?

- She's fine. No complications.

It just wasn't meant to be

this time around.

Thanks.

Hi.

Where are you going?

- LA. I'm taking the job out there.

- You're taking the job in LA?

- Yeah.

- I'll go with you.

- You'll move to LA?

- Sure. Get a house in Hollywood.

I'll buy a jeep for all the snow.

- We can watch the seasons changing.

- Sit down.

What's going on?

Let's face it. The baby just happened.

We didn't mean for it to happen.

It made everything more serious

than either of us ever intended.

We were both

doing the honourable thing.

You think I was doing

the honourable thing?

Then why else are you with me?

Well, because I think

that... you're great.

I think that I have

an awful lot of fun with you.

And... the sex is something...

...a little out of the ordinary,

and extraordinary.

I take partial credit for that,

but you get points for

embarrassing moments in elevators

and regularity.

And I think that you're

a very exciting woman.

Girl. Wo... Girl.

In spite of all this craziness that

you put out, you're very centred.

We like doing the same things.

What's going...? Hey, hey!

Are you crying?

Come here. No, no. Come on.

What are you crying about?

Was it something I said?

Tell me what it is. I'll take it back.

- I'll take it right back.

- I'm too much fun, aren't I?

You're not. No, you're

the perfect amount of fun for me.

It was all good times. I never hurt you.

You never had to worry about me.

I don't know what you're saying.

You weren't neurotic.

You never had to take me seriously.

I always take you seriously. I do.

You have to know I'm crazy about you.

Then why, Duffy, when I asked you

why you were coming with me,

why didn't you say,

"Because I love you"?

- Enjoy your dinner.

- Thank you.

- Excuse me just one moment, please.

- Sure.

Sir? Excuse me. Excuse me.

Sir! Excuse me.

- Sir, can I help you?

- I'm going to see Meg for a minute.

- Meg who? Excuse me.

- Meg the chef.

Sir, our chef is Antonio Lucchesi.

I'm sorry. There's no Meg here.

- What happened to Meg?

- I don't know.

But whatever happened to her,

it didn't happen here. Now, please.

Grazie. Buonasera.

Thank you.

- That was great.

- Perfect.

- I think we have just enough time.

- We'll make it.

Excellent.

Mazel tov!

Are you all right, Duff?

- This is great. It's terrific.

- It's lovely.

Excuse me.

- It is you!

- Hi, Duff.

You know, I wasn't sure.

I couldn't tell from the back.

Look at you! My gosh!

You look... whoo!

You look rather great.

- Thanks. So do you.

- Oh, well, you know.

Dad didn't say anything. I didn't

know you were going to be here.

Neither did I. I thought

I was going to be at the restaurant.

- But you're not there any more.

- Right.

- How did you know?

- Somebody told me.

Yeah, well, anyway. I opened

my own place on Thompson Street.

Your own place? Nobody told me that.

What's it called?

- Meg's.

- Meg's?

What an original name!

How did you get a name like that?

- Out of the phone book.

- Oh, gosh. Congratulations.

That's wonderful.

You got what you really wanted.

Yeah. I guess so.

- And they let you make apple crisp?

- No. I let me make apple crisp.

Yeah, well. Sorry. I didn't mean...

- What's going on here?

- Congratulations!

- I'm so glad you could make it.

- Good to see you.

- Thanks for coming.

- You didn't tell me she was coming.

This is your request.

We'll be right back.

- Go on, Pops.

- Yeah.

It's going to work!

You know the old saying.

You can lead a horse to water...

Bet you a dollar.

You're on.

I think that...

- I think I should get going.

- You just got here!

I know, but there's this person

waiting for me at the restaurant.

- Oh, oh, sorry.

- No, no, no. It's...

Why don't I explain it

to you another time?

Sure, sure. That's all right.

You go on, have a good time.

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

I always loved

your Jimmy Stewart impression.

My Jimmy Stewart.

- Thanks.

- Well...

Maybe we'll see each other some time

if I come around Thompson Street.

Yeah, that sounds great.

I'll see you.

You owe me a dollar.

Gosh, look at all the cake

that people didn't eat.

Did you taste it?

- It's awfully cinnamony.

- Yeah.

Who cares?

I had a great time.

You know something? I haven't been

very supportive of this whole thing.

What do you mean?

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