Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece Page #4

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because tuna's cud,

watching the world go by,

while the Chinese come in here

and rape and pillage.

They're planning on raping

for the next thousand years.

It's like this whole

national debt thing,

there's no such thing

as a national debt.

It's a fraud.

It's a bunch of nonsense

because it's worth nothing.

And this is worth

as much as a f***ing dollar!

There's just

completely worthless sh*t.

And we can do anything

we want! You understand?

We are the

United States of America.

We are the greatest

nation in the world!

And you are a bunch

of Chinese-eating

Long Duk Dong, plum sauce.

You got these fake ducks,

rubber ducks,

their fake d*ldos,

get these commies out of here!

Next thing you know,

we'll have these commies

selling their stuff

all over our biggest

stores in our country,

enslaving the hard-working man!

OJ wants some

Chinese spare ribs, Jack.

-Chinese ribs?

-Yeah.

I like 'em charred.

[shouting] No ribs!

You go now. Now, go!

No. I stay. You go!

Take a seat.

[all grunting]

[dance music playing]

[grunting]

This is the worst date ever.

[screams]

[inaudible arguing]

[cracking]

[shouting]

The f*** are you doing, boy?

Jew Fu!

Jew what?

[The Fist] Ju on this.

Boss.

[grunts]

Yeah. [grunting]

Yeah!

Everybody, take it easy.

I'll take it

anyway I can get it.

Wait. Ju the Chinese Boss?

That's the last time

you call me a Jew.

I'm Armenian!

Ju da boss

at the bagel shop, too,

that's what I'm saying.

-Ju the boss...

-Yeah, I saw, too.

He runs both operations.

He's the

Armenian mob's connection

to the Chinese mafia.

-Okay. Okay.

-What did you expect?

Charlie Chan?

Somebody's gotta pay

for the damage you did.

Listen up, Boss,

you got problems with me,

you can take it to the shop,

the chop shop.

Well, here's the deal.

Your Scooby Gang

is not gonna interfere

with my street racket anymore.

Don't get upset, honey.

You want a chair?

I got one right here

that can fly.

And it's powered

by a can of whoop ass.

I'm the boss! What do you

think you're doing?

[screams]

[narrator] Whoo, you know,

sometimes, man,

that spicy kung fu chicken

can give you hot wings

to crush your boss

like a Coke can.

But even a boss is just

a dealer in this game.

So Fist and his friends

gotta look further

down the supply chain

if they're gonna find

the real gangsters

in this town.

For real.

You know what I mean?

Hey, man, what you doing

back there, be careful.

This is the boss' car.

Oh man, shut up, jack.

Okinawa says that Fist

should've banged Willy's date!

Man, this guy hasn't banged

anything since the '70s.

Look at him. Ju know what,

Okinawa, that's why ju gotta

keep your balls sharp.

Okay, oh, look at this one!

Hey, little lady! Ju wanna

ride my love machine?

[honking] Okay.

I got your machine, man.

What's up, man.

Are you a cop?

Are you a narc?

What you doing man?

What do you mean

what am I doing here, man?

You know I was coming.

I was supposed to be here, man.

Hey, guess what?

Chinese restaurant closed.

Which way to Brooklyn?

Hey, man, Okinawa think

this man is fruity pebbles.

I am Hong Kong 8.

We the 8, the Hong Kong 8.

I'm on a rendezvous

with my group,

the 55 Brooklyn Crew,

you understand?

I don't know what you're

talking about,

but Brooklyn's back that way.

You will.

I believe in The Fist.

You understand

what I'm saying?

I know you, man.

I want the tiger's eye.

I will trade you

the fleece for it.

Did he say gold fleece?

That's what I said, man.

Man, what are you two turkeys

jiving at?

Argonaut's got it,

'cause war's coming.

What war?

We don't got no tiger's eye.

I don't know

what you're saying, man.

You will.

And you know why?

Because I believe in The Fist.

The 55th Infantry, Brooklyn,

got your back.

Hong Kong 8.

Hong Kong 8.

We got your back.

[Okinawa]

Man, that dude is crazy.

He holding up traffic for us.

He's not crazy. He'll be back.

So, uh,

we're going to Brooklyn?

No, man,

what you talking crazy?

The Chinese boss says

he works for The Albanian.

Which means we gotta

find The Albanian.

What Chinese boss?

The ol' Jewish crippled guy.

And who's Albanian?

Ugh. If I knew that, chico,

I wouldn't be black.

[Willy] Albanian?

I know that scumbag.

He puts all the creases

on the comic books.

Messes the whole things up!

I hate the guy!

Willy, what,

I thought your ass

was dead as an ass.

Must've been somebody

that looked like me.

I had to take

my girlfriend home.

Rule number one,

a man don't die

till he pays the reaper.

Someone's always gotta pay.

Just drive.

I gotta catch the red eye.

[The Albanian] The spider web

is almost like

you're a spider.

Nice shirt.

Beach boys, man.

You know what?

I just remembered.

What was your name again?

Sugar.

Sugar.

-I love the sugar.

-Oh, yeah?

May I? May I?

[both] Oh.

[Sugar] Oh, my.

I love the sugar.

[both] Oh.

We do this with the leg,

like this.

In my country

this is called Kun-un-a.

Oh, what?

Makes no sense.

-But just do it.

-[Sugar moaning]

We go like this.

[both grunting]

One more time.

[The Albanian] Oh.

Okay.

We get 'em drunk,

put 'em in the trunk.

That is my motto.

Where do you think

you're going?

Uh, uh...

Into the trunk.

I'll show you the way.

Uh, what, what, what the...

What, what is,

what are you talking about?

[Willy clears throat]

No one knows.

Ju know what, this guy,

this guy is not Albanian, man.

He sounds like

he's Italian or Greek.

Ju know what I talking about?

Olive oil countries.

-Ju know what I'm saying.

-Yeah.

First time I laid eyes

on this lying cock-eyed Commie,

I knew he's a fraud!

You steal everything,

don't ya?

You've stolen every comic book

in the building here!

-No, there's...

-And you put a crease

in Amazing 15!

Amazing 15,

you broke the crease!

That was not me.

That was me, but not.

It was the women. They like

to sit on the comic books.

Sorry. But I'll get you 15.

Rule number two,

don't ask, don't tell.

Ring the bell.

Ring the bell, chico.

The boss, he says ju

gave him your meat.

My meat?

Ju gave him your meat.

Did, gave. I gave--

That cheap, fraudulent SPAM!

Estrogen-filled,

mercury-laden garbage!

[Willy] My cat,

he ate some of that sh*t,

and everybody's

growing tits now!

Look at my tits.

I wear a C-cup bra!

My cat

got stuck in the dryer,

he went around and around.

Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Come out,

and he puffed up like that.

He can't even walk anymore.

His name was Leon,

he answers to Noel!

-I feel so sorry for you--

-My cat!

I don't like having tits!

I'm, I'm, I'm very sorry,

but blame it on the FDA.

Not on me. They had me do tofu

and call it beef.

I mean, they pump estrogen

in the meat,

and they pump it and they

pump it and they pump it,

and they do that all the time

and then the men come out

and have pretty little titties

and look like princesses.

But that is not me fault.

Not my fault, is it? What?

-You got a nice smile.

-You're very scary.

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