Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece Page #5

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I'm not...

I'm not part of that tree.

If you know what I mean.

-Uh...

-Wanna be?

But look, look,

then in the forest,

the estrogen,

it make beautiful p*ssy.

With growing the p*ssy.

[stammering]

FDA approved.

You got a little p*ssy growing

on your chest, pretty boy.

[El Guapo]

Now ju talking my language.

Who sent you?

Pretty boy?

[The Fist] Who sent you?

What are you talking about?

You came in here.

What's this guy on?

He's about to be

on ju, gringo.

-[The Fist] Who sent you?

-[gurgling]

[breathing heavily]

What my furry friend

is trying to say is,

who do ju work for?

Why didn't you say so

in the first place?

[gurgling]

Ju better hurry up,

he's getting bigger

and greener.

And harder.

We all work for

the same people. The witches.

You know,

the beautiful witches,

with the curvy asses

and the long legs

and the juicy,

juicy, juicy pussies.

Which witch?

Why did you

dunk me again? Huh?

-It slipped.

-[gasping]

They're the beautiful ones.

The beautiful witches.

-The nasty witches.

-Oh, those witches.

Aren't they nice.

No, not those witches.

The f***ing hot ones

with the green pussies.

Look, I'm just a shmoe

that has meat. That is it.

No. You're empty

and I'm about to fill you up.

Please don't rape me.

You got a nice smile, boy.

[bell ringing]

Hey, man,

check out the snow man.

I don't like snow man,

I like Santa Claus.

Oh, sh*t. Agents.

Government agents.

OJ's about to be DBM,

dead black man.

OJ, hide my yayo, man.

Go, go, go.

The Fist.

Let The Albanian go.

His ass belongs to the FDA.

You can have his ass.

I want his face.

Why don't we step outside?

Hmm. You can step outside

in a body bag.

You got a nice smile.

You're being watched.

They're everywhere.

It's all connected.

They're in your brain.

The f*** is wrong

with this guy?

[hip hop playing]

Pause.

I get it. Chains.

Chains.

They're still here, okay?

Brothers wearing gold chains.

The chains

that came from slavery.

The chains that held us down.

It's gonna change.

Gonna lead to riots.

Okinawa, unpause.

Dig it, change.

And change gon' come.

As a matter of fact,

gonna be a black

president one day.

-I know-- Yes, it is.

-Black president?

It's gonna be

a heck of a future.

He's gonna start out

looking like Carl Lewis.

He's gonna end up

looking like Benson.

Mmm.

The future's looking bleak.

They're gonna have

security guards at Popeyes

with guns

around niggas with chicken!

The Fist. Sign of power.

-Sign of power.

-Sign of unity,

-love, brotherhood.

-Brotherhood.

I mean,

the Beatles and Woodstock

and all that stuff

don't mean nothin'

to what this brings

to the world.

We'll put it in the air.

Retract it.

All right,

pause back to you, Okinawa.

B*tch, get in the car!

And the rent's

still too damn high.

[engine starting]

Hope and change!

The Fist.

You've been evicted.

[upbeat music playing]

[grunting]

Dead or alive,

you're coming with me.

Man, these some super-agents.

[all grunting]

You reptilian-radiated scum!

They feed you

green sewer water

and they give you lead paint

and then they send you out

like RoboCops

to beat up your own people.

I got news for ya.

I'm one man,

but I come here

to chew bubble gum

and kick ass,

and I'm all out of bubble gum!

I'll be back.

Okay, uh, now I think

we're wanted

by the government,

you jacks.

[The Fist] I should be wanted

in at least 50 states.

Your baby-sitters

got sent home, big time.

Hey, there.

I've been waiting for you.

[The Albanian exhales]

I give up.

I want you inside me.

[inhales]

They tried to get me to talk

about the Superboss

who sells protein

to my cattle.

But you are like a light

that I see in the dark,

and I grasp for it,

and I keep grasping for it,

and it pulls me in,

and it pulls me in.

And Fist, this is for men.

Men. Man to man.

You are the greatest porn star

the world has ever seen.

And I wish every man

could be like you.

If looks could kill.

Yes.

I'm just gonna watch.

[funky music playing]

Fist. That you or a clone?

[The Fist] Straight out

of a comic book.

Hey, man, look.

We got evicted

from our apartment.

Su mi casa es su casa.

I love you, man.

Dude, you got some food here

or something for us?

[Willy] No, my refrigerator

broke so I threw it

out the window.

Oh, man, you don't got

anything organic, vegetarian,

something like p*ssy,

or vegetarian p*ssy,

or cheapos, goat testicles?

Ah, I got some bull balls.

[knock at door]

-That's protein. You want some?

-Blue balls.

[Willy] Who the hell are you?

I had dinner with you

last night, retard.

Hi, Fist.

I'm sorry I ran out on you.

I brought you a doggybag.

I promise in future

I won't be bad.

[bell clanging]

What, did your mother slap

some sense into you?

I bet you don't

even have a mother.

True story.

Make sure that when you

take bites, they're big.

Hey, okay, little lady.

We gotta go now

because we got a mega fight

with the Superboss

at the car wash.

Right, Fist? So you gotta go,

little one. Okay?

I'm not the little one.

You're the little one

for hiding behind The Fist.

Hey! I'm a political refugee

from Cuba, okay.

And I want my human right like

the President Jimmy Carter says.

Now you go. Peace be upon you.

We gotta fight evil-doers.

He has to get some rest.

-Just wait here.

-Here?

Here, look.

You see here, man.

Here, there, this, that.

[chomping]

[pleasant music playing]

[The Fist] Good morning, world!

[gasping]

Good morning, Guapo nino.

What a glorious day!

What's the matter with this guy.

This guy's acting like he banged

the Victoria Secret birds, man.

Hey, he's got a nice smile.

Fist, you shave

or something, man?

The razor broke

before I could shave my chest.

Guy's going a little cuckoo.

Yeah, but he's got a nice smile.

Aye dios mio,

first he's shaving,

then he play with doll,

the next thing you know

he's gonna take it up his culo.

Hey, he's got a nice smile.

[hip hop playing]

[screams]

[shrieking]

Welcome to the

Super Car Wash,

where everything we do is super!

Thank you. Clean and wax please.

No problemo. Clean and wax.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

You have a good one, sir.

Thank you.

Gracias.

No. Thank you.

Hey, what's up, you guys?

What can we do for you today?

Hi, guys.

Welcome to the

Super Car Wash,

-where we do everything super.

-Super.

Because you're

first time customers,

to join our

super-savings program.

You're gonna save a lot.

Well, we got a discount for ju.

Why don't ju tell us

where you're boss is.

Okay, chica?

Oh, I'm sorry,

I didn't catch that.

But you know what,

I think I detect

a Soviet accent?

Oh, my gosh,

that's the first time

a Russian has been in our store.

What the f*** is going on,

are we in some Candyland

or something, man?

Chica, why don't ju just show

us where your boss is, okay?

We wanna talk to him.

That's it, okay.

Oh, you want to talk

to our Supervisor.

Supervisor!

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