Gagman Page #4

---

Please, stop pulling

my legs, Mr. Lee?

Now, do I look like

I'm pulling your leg?

We live in an age

without masterpieces.

Movies like Gone

with the Wind,

Ben Hur, the Sorrows in Heaven,

have all disappeared,

gone in the wind.

We are on the doorsteps

of the 21st Century.

But just who is making

meaningful movies?

Is there anyone giving

meaning to human history?

I, Lee Jong-sae,

spend many hours in

anguish and suffering,

to create a masterpiece that

is like ray of hope

in this dark and unforgiving

wasteland of a world.

And when I met a beautiful

lily of an actress, Sun-young,

and you, Do-seok, who oozed

powerful personality,

the two great future actors,

I was overjoyed.

I thought I would finally be able

to create that masterpiece

that would be seen by everyone

in this country.

But those blind agents of

materialism and money out there

refused to recognize genius

when they saw it.

Do you want such genius

to fade away like this?

No... no, sir.

Must a genius like me

despair over mere $100000?

I'm sorry for arguing, sir.

Good afternoon.

Is there something wrong

with your car?

You're trembling.

No... no, I'm not.

It's just...

a little hot in here.

You must get

a hold of yourself.

Don't worry.

I can't be tough

when I need to be.

I'm falling asleep here.

Hurry up and get it over with.

Are you ready?

Yes, sir.

Sir, can we do it a bit later?

Why?

I have to take a dump.

Hold it for ten minutes, OK?

Hands up.

This is a robbery!

Stick 'em up!

Stick 'em up!

We really are robbing a bank.

Don't try anything funny.

Because we know where the alarm is.

Uh... the safe is over here, sir.

Oh... the... the safe.

Open the safe.

Open it up!

But we don't have the key.

The supervisor left

with the keys on him.

You're lying.

It's true.

He went to see someone at

the cafe across the street.

Want me to go and get him?

Yes.

No, sir!

You should not fall for that.

Hold on a minute.

Make a move and you're dead!

Hey, stick 'em up!

Where are you from?

Se... Seoul.

Are you the South Gate

or the East Gate Gang?

Ever heard of

"The Twin Blade?"

I'm the Twin Blade

of West Gate.

True gangsters in the old days

used knives and axes.

They didn't go around

with peashooters.

And pretending to be

the Mafia, like you!

I'll kill you!

Stop screaming, fathead!

The cops will hear you

from a mile away.

What are you doing?

Let's go!

Anyone who moves will get shot!

Hello everyone, and welcome.

Your forever lover boy who gets

bigger with your, love, love, love.

Your lark on a sunny day,

I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.

Thank you for braving

the blazing heat of summer,

forsaking your family on

what was to be family night,

to enjoy the hospitality of

the Mammoth Club tonight.

We will now get our world-famous

variety show on the way,

full of laughter and music,

with beautiful women dancing to it.

But before we do that,

I'd like to buy you a drink.

Stop pretending, you say?

Get a free drink

one every table, waiter.

Why am I buying you drinks?

Have I gone crazy

from the heat?

Not a chance.

Is it because

it's my birthday.

It's not that, either.

Did I win the lottery?

Nope.

Are prices of my land

in the country skyrocketing?

Sorry, wrong guess again.

Now, don't tell this

to anyone outside.

Remember the bank heist

in Munsan?

It was me who robbed

that bank.

But the real reason

I'm buying your drinks

is to thank you for

all your wonderful support,

that finally got me

my debut as a director.

And the leading stars

of my first masterpiece

have agreed to honor us

by appearing on our stage.

Let's give the two stars

a big round of applause!

Well, I can see why Brooke

Shields decided to retire.

Now, although we cannot

convince her to strip,

she can tell us her figure.

What's your figure?

It's 36-24-36.

How do you feel about your

first starring role, Mr. Moon?

I'm so happy.

I would like to thank

the great director Lee Jong-sae

without whom I would not

where I am at today.

And right you are!

Which song will you entertain

the audience with today?

Suzie Q.

Let's hear it for Suzie Q!

Stick 'em up, or I shoot!

Mommy!

Come one, stop crying...

all right?

Move over a little bit.

The leading lady gets

the most contract money.

Check it out.

Who is it?

It's a cop!

Tell him I'm not home.

I didn't do anything.

I want just doing

what I was told.

I didn't do anything.

I'm going home.

Shut up, fat face!

You'll be shot once

you got out and get caught.

Open up.

Open the door.

I'll shoot you

if you don't come out.

Open the front door.

It's make it or break it,

so don't sweat it.

It might be nothing,

so go check it out.

I'll shoot you

if you don't go out there.

As a director, you have to

be brave at time like this.

Don't worry.

We've got your back covered.

Smile.

Don't do anything

to give yourself away.

I'm Officer Kim from

the Metropolitan Police.

Hello everyone,

and welcome.

You are braving

the blazing heat of summer,

in protection of lives

and property of us citizens.

My heartfelt gratitude to the police

chief and hardworking officers.

Thank you.

May I come inside and

take a look around.

Yes.

- Do you live alone?

- Yes.

Wait... my mother just came to

visit me from the country.

Woops, guess it was

my sister-in-law.

Oh, OK.

- What's your line of work?

- What?

Your occupation.

Your forever lover boy who gets bigger

with your, love, love, love.

I'm your funnyman,

Moon Do-seok.

I bet you're rich,

since you're a TV star.

I'm sure you saw the news,

but there are bank robbers

on the loose.

Going around robbing banks

in daylight.

Oh, my God.

They robbed clothing stores

and even mom-and-pop shops,

at gunpoint, and taking every

bit of cash with them

day in and day out.

Come on. I'm sure they

didn't threaten kids.

So we're going around reminding

people about crime prevention.

Oh, OK...

Is this the main bedroom?

Well, that's just a picture.

Are you all right?

Don't worry, I'm fine.

Be sure to put valuable

where people cannot see them.

Nobody's stupid enough to

put it there.

- Are they here, then?

- You're welcome to look around.

- Are they here?

- Look again.

Where did you put it?

I don't really know, actually.

You put it here, right?

Where is it?

Don't worry about it.

I put someplace really safe.

Where is it?

Where's the money?

And?

And?

Take it off.

Maybe I should just

get married.

Get married and arrange flowers,

make dinners,

and make dinner and wash

his feet when he comes home.

Have just two kids.

Turn one into a movie star

and other into a singer.

Do you know where

I can find a good man?

I'm not asking for

a lot in a guy.

He just needs to be

a man with two cars,

a home with a pool,

and things like that.

Remember the first scene

from our future movie?

The main character tries

to commit suicide

but trips over a chair

and ends up failing.

That is what life is like.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes