Galaxy Quest Page #12

He clasps Guy's shoulder in a commanderly way.

GWEN:

You're playing your good side.

JASON:

Don't be ridiculous.

ALEXANDER:

And note the sucked in gut.

TOMMY:

...Sleeves rolled halfway up the biceps...

FRED:

It's the rugged pose.

The all nod in agreement. Jason is about to object, when suddenly

everyone is stopped in their tracks by SPOOKY ALIEN WHISPERING

and the sound of CRITTERS climbing around the surrounding cliffs.

GUY:

That's it, that's what's going to kill me.

JASON:

Let's just pick up the pace a little, shall we?

65CREST OF HILL

They climb to the crest, out of breath. Guy arrives last. They

clear the ridge and Look down onto

66VALLEY BELOW - MINING OUTPOST

Below there is a small ABANDONED MINING FACILITY. Wind WHISTLES

through various structures and power stations. In the center of

the outpost sits a large shimmering boulder.

JASON:

There it is. The Beryllium sphere.

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

ALEXANDER:

Must be some sort of mining facility.

GWEN:

Where are the miners?

GUY:

Something BAD happened here.

TOMMY:

Will you relax?

Suddenly they become aware of a SMALL BLUE CREATURE emerging from

one of the structures. It's blue and looks somewhat like a human

child. It moves to a small pool of water and begins drinking.

Its movements are very quiet and tentative. Then a few more BLUE

CHILDREN emerge and join the first.

GWEN:

(smiling, amazed)

Look at that... Will you LOOK at that... They look like little

children...

ALEXANDER:

Could they be the miners?

FRED:

Sure. They're like, three years old.

ALEXANDER:

MINERS, not MINORS.

He pronounces the two words exactly the same. Fred looks at Alex

like he's crazy.

FRED:

You Okay, Alex?

GUY:

I don't like this... I don't like this at all...

GWEN:

Oh, they're so cute.

GUY:

Of course they're cute NOW. But in a second they're going to turn

MEAN and UGLY somehow and then there are going to be a million

MORE of them!...

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

Then another blue creature emerges. This one limps, its leg is

hurt. It moves forward, DRAGGING its bad foot along the ground,

making NOISE.

EVERYONE:

Awwww ..... It's hurt...

Gwen rises up a little, tentatively waving at Limpy...

GWEN:

Hi!... Hi there little guy...

Guy PUSHES her down behind the rock before the creatures notice.

GUY:

Jesus, didn't ANY of you watch the show!?

The BLUE CHILDREN turn toward Limpy, and begin whispering in an

alien tongue...

ALIEN CHILDREN:

Gorignak... Gorignak.... Nak nak!

GWEN:

Aw, look. They're helping the hurt one...

Indeed the others move to the hurt creature, cocking their heads

to the side empathetically...

Then suddenly we see the aliens SMILE with SHARP RAZOR TEETH,

their mouths SPREADING OUT IMPOSSIBLY ON THEIR FACES. They

DESCEND on LIMPY, ripping him apart. We only see a GEYSER OF

BLOOD from the center of the blue circle.... Our group is

silent, horrified.

GUY:

I am SO SICK of being right.

GWEN:

(stunned horror)

Let's get out of here before one of those things kills guy.

JASON:

We gotta get that sphere, or we aren't going anywhere.

Reluctantly, they all nod in agreement.

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

JASON:

All right... here's the plan: First, Fred, we need a diversion

to clear those things out of the compound, then Gwen, Alex, Fred

and I go down to get the sphere. Any of those things come back,

give a signal. Guy, you set up a perimeter.

GWEN:

Why does this sound so familiar?

TOMMY:

"Assault on Voltareck III." Episode... 31 I think.

GUY:

We're doing episode 31?

TOMMY:

Whatever, the one with the hologram. The wall of fire.

GWEN:

How the hell is Fred supposed to project a hologram?

GUY:

We're doing episode 31, Jason?

JASON:

It doesn't have to be a hologram... Just a diversion.

GUY:

Jason, are we doing Episode 31 or not?

JASON:

It's a rough plan, Guy! What does it matter if we're doing

episode 31 or not?!

GUY:

BECAUSE I DIED IN EPISODE 31!

ALEXANDER:

(interrupting)

This is ludicrous. Why are you listening to this man? Must I

remind you that he is wearing a costume, not a uniform?... He's

no more equipped to lead us than THIS fellow.

(motions to Guy)

No offense.

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

TOMMY:

You have a better plan, Alex?

ALEXANDER:

As a matter of fact, I do. Look at their eyes. They're obviously

nocturnal. Come sundown they will go into the forest to hunt.

So our plan is simply to wait for nightfall instead of mounting

an insane assault in full daylight simply because we did it that

way in episode 31.'

The others look convinced. Jason looks down, defeated. Everyone

starts to settle in to wait for SUNDOWN.

67EXT. RIDGE OVERLOOKING MINING OUTPOST - DUSK67

Two hours later, the SUN is setting. Everyone rises to begin

their assault, as the last glow sinks Into the horizon. They

start forward when... THE SECOND SUN (the BIG one) rises up

behind them, lighting the planet brightly. The actors turn to

Alexander who looks away, sheepishly. Jason smiles, vindicated,

and stands, back in charge.

JASON:

As I was saying... Fred, we need some sort of diversion. Some

sort of Hologram or optical illusion or...

He looks at Fred, who looks up at him, completely lost.

FRED:

A hologram...

JASON:

(gently)

Never mind, Fred....

FRED:

No, no... I'll think on it...

GWEN:

Jason, look.

They all look down to see that the blue demons have already

deserted the complex.

TOMMY:

They're gone.

GUY:

Where'd they go? Back inside?

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

GWEN:

I don't know.

ALEXANDER:

Nobody was WATCHING?

JASON:

All right, Gwen, Alex, Fred, follow me. Guy, set up the

perimeter. Tommy, you keep a lookout, make a signal if they come

back.

TOMMY:

What kind of signal?

JASON:

Anything.

TOMMY:

Okay, I'll do this...

(barely audible)

"Caw Caw!"

JASON:

Tommy, we have these...

He motions to his vox.

TOMMY:

Oh, right, sorry.

JASON:

Okay, let's go.

Jason, Gwen, Alex and Fred start down the hillside leaving Tommy

and Guy alone. They stand there for a second, looking at each

other.

TOMMY:

You have no idea what a perimeter is, do you?

GUY:

Not a clue. You?

TOMMY:

I think he just likes pointing at things.

68OMIT68

69DOWN THE RIDGE69

Jason is in full action mode... He uses dramatic commando tactics

he's acted on the show, such as ducking behind a

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

rock, peeking out, rolling on the ground to the next rock. Gwen,

Alex and Fred just stroll down casually behind him.

GWEN:

How does the rolling help, actually?

JASON:

It helps.

A beat.

GWEN:

Where's your gun?

He pats his hip, the gun is gone. It has obviously fallen over

the cliff in his roll.

ALEXANDER:

"It helps."

70CLEARING ON THE RIDGE 70

Tommy keeps a lookout through the binoculars: Below, Jason and

the others sneak into the compound and head toward the sphere.

The abandoned compound is spooky. A battered metal door sways in

the wind with a CREAK

GWEN:

Those blue things ate everybody here?

ALEXANDER:

It doesn't make sense... Surely they could have fortified the

compound against those creatures...

Fred passes a metal console with a number of broken

viewscreens... One, however is partially intact. Fred pushes a

button and the viewscreen lights up with a blurry VIDEO PLAYBACK

of MAYHEM:
Through a DUSTSTORM we see a number of ALIEN MINERS

run panicked through the compound. We hear thunderous CRASHES,

like FOOTSTEPS A TERRIFIED MINER - face wrapped in cloth except

for the eyes - stares into the camera, mumbling, out of his mind

with fear.

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